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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello! Hello! Welcome, ladies! To Inner Work for Greater Good. My name is Emily Eldredge and Happy International Women’s Day. Are you an international woman? No, I'm just joking. It's actually. It sounds like I'm saying Happy Day for international women. But basically it's
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: happy celebrating women all over the world, including you. I'm so happy you're here. I'm going to share with you basically a redo of the talk that I gave on Monday to celebrate international Women's day at a win win with an event
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: full day event. I then the second half is going on today, but I wanted to share what I shared then I you know it's funny, because when I did it before, I felt like it was like I wasn't quite sure exactly how much time I had left, so it was like a freight train, and I just kept so i'm hoping this goes better so for me. It's also a redo of like
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hopefully this comes across a little bit better, because this is a really big talk topic that i'm sharing. And there's so much to share, and I want to make sure that it's kind of recent. So we're here Good. We'll see what happens. The question is, how is it that your emotions
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: are in fact, super powers superpowers? This is something that it took me decades to realize for myself. Obviously, the work I do is emotion based.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and it wasn't until I learned to embrace my own emotions after years of being criticized, learning to embrace my own emotions for the super powers that they are, and for it would be the super power that my emotional sensitivity, that it is, and the reason why i'm putting it in terms of superpowers is because so many of us, especially women, but also men.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But we're we're talking about women talking about us ladies right now. Is it? So? Many of us have been shamed and and and and diminished and dismissed or criticized for whatever for what we're feeling. Now it may be that we're criticized that way for
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: feeling, you know, negative feelings like sadness or anger, or or what have you? But we also get shame to criticize, at least by wise for my joy and my happiness, and I felt like I wasn't even safe expressing those emotions sometimes in my environment prepared that someone would feel threatened.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or someone would. You know they they couldn't handle the energy that was coming from me, or they, you know, for whatever reason their own misery, they didn't like that. I was happy.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so we often get criticized. Shame for how we feel, and then what happens? We'll then think about how we then treat ourselves in our notions, and i'll speak for myself. I was deeply, deeply self-critical
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for my feelings. The fact that I had these intense emotions, and it led to my you know compartmentalizing them or suppressing them, or what I actually one of the things that I did was, I would be sort of super hyper, frenetic, frantic, happy to try to deflect any of the criticism that I got from sometimes when I felt that about myself, or when I was felt sad or so you know any of those negative feelings I need the anger, etc.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so we end up because we are taught not healthy relationships with our own emotions, because we are taught
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: this to be in struggle or in conflict, because that's the message that we're given that that our emotions as they are are not okay or they're not good, or we should change them, etc. We end up in very dysfunctional relationships with our own feelings, with our own emotions, which, I argue, results in us having very dysfunctional relationships with ourselves. We don't have a healthy relationship with our emotions.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We don't have a healthy relationship with ourselves. To me they are. It is inextricably They're in it to have a healthy relationship with yourself. You've got to have a healthy and wise and understanding and compassionate empathetic, etc., etc., etc., accepting relationship with your own feelings.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and that and the problems that come out of not having that. Basically those are those are my clients. And then that's what I deal with as well within myself, and that's why we go to therapy, and that's why we have issues
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is because we really don't know how to manage them, or we actually don't know how to embrace them, and and treat them with the respect and the love and the kindness and the understanding that they deserve that we deserve.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the problem is that we end up in these dysfunctional relationships with our emotions. And here's the thing, though, and and I I have so many examples of this, and i'll tell you some stories in this episode as well.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Here's the thing. Our emotions are neither good nor bad.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They are just feelings. They are just emotions.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Where this, by the same token, emotional sensitivity is neither good or bad, it is; and when we was in the right way, and when used and and and and and received when we receive our emotions, and we understand our emotions.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's when they could really be superpowers, and we can really treat them with their respect for what they're actually bringing us and showing us. And so 2 of the things that I found is that, first of all, here's the one of the big importance of emotions is that emotions are at the heart of connection
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and connecting with others our ability to actually have the emotional connections with others, our ability to empathize our ability to feel what others are feeling, but also to to identify
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: with how others are feeling. And say, yeah, I've been through a similar thing, or even when it comes to things that we're passionate about, you know. Let's say you love to knit. Well, why do you love to because of how it makes you feel
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: how the active knitting, or maybe it's just the yarn, or maybe it's just the circles of connection and community that you get from. You know that's in. In that case it's about the emotional connection that you have with the active meeting.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but also then, that translates to then your emotional connection with others through knitting, or it might be through T, or it might be through running it could be through any number of things. So emotions are at the heart
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of our sense of connection with others, even when it's bad feelings, we can really, you know, for survival of some kind of trauma we connect with others because of that as well, because we know how that
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: field. And so I'm. Just using that to say that emotions are such rich gems inside of us that enable us to feel that sense of connection, and to empathize with others for others to empathize with us.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but also also. And I find this over and over and over again
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in my sessions with clients. And this to me is one of the great gifts of getting to do. What I do is that emotions are conduits for intuition
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and wisdom. So when I say intuition, Sometimes we can have an intuitive hit. We don't really know why we're getting that sense, but we're still getting that sense. And so it's by being in tune with our intuition, and sometimes our intuition expresses itself for our body to kind of feel something like.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And my dad is telling me that this isn't, okay. or you know, getting sort of a spiney sense. And I notice i'm using the word spidy sense, because that's a superpower. That Spiderman has right. You get your spitey senses, and something's come telling you, or it could even be like a good feeling that you get that it's like, you know. It's something about this person. I feel like I want to get to know them a little bit more
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so. The emotions, the feelings that we carry, and some of our emotional connections and and and feelings that we get with those are. The point is that those feelings and emotions are conduits for that intuition.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that intuitive sense that you have. So consider what happens when you then
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: disconnect from your feelings, or suppress feelings, or or sometimes when those, because we have a struggling relationship with our emotions and our feelings, we can actually end up with distorted reactions and distortions of those things. And so what happens is, you know, maybe it's over exaggerated.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so what happens is when we don't have a healthy relationship with our emotions, those innate
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that with that, the intuition that the emotions are trying to to to bring forward.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It gets distorted, or it doesn't get received at all. We end up suppressing those we end up, not really tuning in to what they're trying to tell us. So that's really really important. Another thing, as I mentioned is that emotions are conduit or vehicles for our wisdom
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when there's some some part of us, it's trying to convey something, some kind of wisdom and clarity and message. And if we don't have a healthy relationship with our emotions. We, for example, if we try to suppress anger
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for, and there are a lot of reasons why we do that. You know. I think I've talked about this before I can get into that. But what if we suppress our anger, or if we suppress our own sickness, or we surpass our own fears, or if we I mean the point is, if we just don't have a healthy appreciation
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for what those emotions are trying to give us, and we don't, receive them, and listen for the wisdom that's there. But we might not receive that wisdom, and then we can end up repeating, we end up in unhealthy relationships, or we end up sabotaging relationships because we are really properly listening to what our emotions are trying to tell us, for the reason they're trying to convey.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I think I've talked about this before that a lot of times. What happens when you actually listen for the wisdom that's in your emotions, which is what I often get, accounts for my clients to listen for the wisdom when an emotion coming up, listen to the wisdom. If we don't properly
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: listen for the let me not actually sort of add what, when we actually listen for the wisdom in our own emotions
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that it's, it's like magic. It's like a lot of times. Then there's emotions just Oh. because the emotion is like, okay. or that part of you that's carrying those
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I did my job. I I conveyed it when we actually listen to and feed the wisdom in those emotions, those emotions will calm down. I think that shared a lot of experiences that I've had where that's happened.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's actually what happens. So
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I will give you a couple of examples just from my clients. I mean I could give you a 1,000 examples from my clients of when an emotion, a really intense emotion, or really powerful part of them coming up, and they didn't. Maybe they were suppressing that part. They were
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in struggle with it. And what happened was then they didn't actually get the wisdom of that part of them had for them.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And i'll give you 2 quick examples. One was a client I have where she had this hugely raged and ranged part of her, and she really struggled with this range because she didn't know what to do with it, because she didn't want to be in. She didn't want to go around being an angry person.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But the thing is when she drew out we did the Drawing Out Process, which is my signature technique which permanently heals these inner blocks for those loose, all this kind of stuff when she drew that out, and we took that part of it with the Drawing Out Process. Now, mind you, that part was this screaming band. She had like fire coming out of her.
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Yeah, just screen it.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We drew that part out. If she drew that part down. We talked to it, and sure enough, it was a part of her that was enraged from the time when she was a teenager, and she allowed other people to violate for boundaries. Now, when she was a teenager, she probably wasn't probably wasn't even conscious that she had boundaries, and the reason why she was even suppressing her awareness of that unconsciously was because
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: basically she desperately wanted to be accepted into this group of friends
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: who actually weren't treating her that well. But that was also the reason why she would desperately want it to be included, and also the way reason why she put up with so much from them was because she felt so little about the self she was deeply into. But the point is, she allowed herself just so that she could be accepted by this group of girls and boys she allowed one of the boys to violate.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: She allowed him to take advantage of her. She didn't say no.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Emphatically enough, this was a part of her. This was the part of her go that inside was screaming No, and was screaming for her to set her boundaries.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but she didn't listen. and i'm not blaming her. It's just how it goes. We don't listen to these parts. She didn't listen. and so here this woman is, you know, by the time when we work together in her forties, and this happened when she was like 13,
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and this part of her was still screaming at her because she was seeing that she was still letting her boundaries be violated. She was still not standing up for herself. She was still not doing what was right for her. So this part we that that came up in our session that she drew out
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: was screening and saying, Look.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you need to say no. And what was so cool is that this part of her, this screening Banshee woman
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: actually scripted it for her and said, here's what she got to say to people who are disrespecting you, and she scripted it. She told her what you need to say.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and sure enough, the woman wrote it down. Now she had a script, and once she listened to that part of her.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that screaming, fiery banshee, whatever inside of her calm down into this wonderful, wise grandmother. She was so cool just, and she, you know, who was just contented to sit
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in a rocking chair. It's just kind of like, okay, we're good. Now you know now that I know that you listen to me now that I know that you've shifted and you're going to start standing up for yourself. We're good.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so she let that that that part of her. Just
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so you see that's an example of
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: can be an amazing messenger from wisdom, and that that rage it's not about going around and using that range as your superpower. I'm going to wage everybody. No, no, no, it's that it was a conjugate. It's a vehicle for her and her intuition that was trying to get her attention.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so it's almost like it did. It was trying to give her that in our site, saying, this is where your boundary is, but also outer side, saying, that is not a pain. So it's like an X-ray version, using another one. We got spitey senses. We've got x-ray vision
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but it's really that incredible being able to tune in and know what's going on that that may be really good, but also maybe really bad.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Another quick example of this this other woman that I worked with is just so powerful, and she's so like
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: she's got she's been loud, and she's energetic, and she's like so strong, and she's so cool and on the surface. She absolutely seems like I have no problem setting my boundaries on on it's not okay. And she'd recently gotten out of relationship when we work together.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so we will work with. So we have the session. But let me just say she has a pattern of a repeated patter of attracting very narcissistic men, being in relationship with men who are very, very narcissistic and self absorbed, who, where she meets their needs completely.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But they don't need her needs at all, but they're dismissive of her, which was a pattern that she had already recognized was from her childhood. Her father, her father, treated her that way.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Anyway. The point is what came up in her session.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Was this little girl inside of her that was like hiding behind skirts, and really nervous and really scared. And my client, the woman said, I don't like this, and i'm really uncomfortable because she didn't want to identify with that depth of fear, and that that that that she perceived, as like we, the weakness inside of her.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What we ended up having was we talked to drew out this little spherical girl, and we ended up talking to the little girl. This is what happens in the sessions in my Drawing Out Process sessions. And that little girl, with all of this incredible awareness that she had
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when my client was a little girl, that she was just. She saw the pattern in her that, and she saw what was not okay, she got it.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is not okay to treat me this way.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but because this part of her was not allowed to speak for Truth as a child, lest she would get it in the neck from her father. The very narcissistic father
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: she had that part of her became suppressed. But here's the problem with that is that it was suppressed all those years. And so it's. Wisdom was not fully available to my client all those years to help her recognize when certain behaviors were not okay. So what happened was the little role came out, expressed her energy, express her wisdom for the clock, my client.
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and then she actually, once she felt like, oh, good! Finally got my message across, and she felt like the woman really embraced it and received it. The little girl became this like totally sexy, just like my client, sassy with lots of energy and a lot of Moxie, and she was like, I want to go.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I don't have an ice cream home. Now let's go. Do this, you know. And so she was the full wisdom and intuition and awareness and power
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that that little girl had inside of her was finally able to be realized and embraced and brought forward more fully. And so now this is the way my client describe it. She goes, man, with that, because now I know this little girl is going to be the one to raise. But think flags
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: as soon as she sees. So so before that my client can even get into any kind of relationship with someone who's nicistic.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Soon as she sees that I think she can raise those pink flags, and ensure in this case that my client would not fall into that old pattern in track of getting caught in our system relationships. And so here's the other thing about that, too. It's sort of like we can know intellectually like, okay, this is not okay.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, when you sort of see. You might see things. You probably experiences where you see it in a relationship.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but it it's not kind of syncing in it's like it's not embodied. It's not like you have this visceral or clear with sponsor reaction to it. It says, No, this is wrong.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know. You kind of rationalize and dismiss. And all of that, even though you can go Well, that's not okay. No.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And basically the fact that this little girl is now in fully invoked to fully invoice her and feel her power inside of her. Now my client was expressing that she goes. Now I can feel
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: how that's not okay. Immediately. As soon as that, you know. Stuff comes up a narcissistic, but then the pink flags, if you will, for the red flag, you know, as soon as they start to show up, she's like. And now i'm going to feel it. My body
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm going to end it right there, or whatever she's got to do so. Good stuff. The point is
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that your emotions are not bad. They are good. They are doing their best to serve you and bring you wisdom and intuition, whatever way they know. The important thing, though.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: as I started by saying, is to have a healthy relationship with these emotions, turn towards them.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Be curious about them, ask questions, draw them out. How many times, I said, to draw them out, go to ChangeLight that world, join our free course and community. Take the free course, join our community and take the free course. It's right there, and you can get in there and learn how to draw out these feelings and start to uncover
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the wisdom, the intuition, and the superpowers that are there inside of them.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: All right, I hope, as always, this has been helpful again. My name is Emily Eldredge, with ChangeLight, and I look forward to seeing you next time. Bye.
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