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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | Your Most Precious Asset





 

TRANSCRIPT


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello, hello, and welcome to Inner Work for Greater Good. My name, as always, is Emily Eldredge. I am the founder of ChangeLight, and the Creator of the ChangeLight system. And of course, every week we talk here about the inner work that is necessary to feel good, so that you can do good to feel better, so you can do even better. And so that's always. My intention with you is to really have help. You recognize the kind of

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in her work that you can do to help you show up. Better feel better, behave better, have better relationships, all that good gemmy stuff that we all so many of us desperately desire. So anyway, this week I have a topic that I confess, is not fully formed.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because there's just so much to talk about with this, but I will also say that it was inspired this morning, as I was watching the interview between Prince Harry and Stephen Colbert, Which happened last night, and I I got to be honest with you like there's so many people saying so many things about. You know Harry and Megan and all of that, and I

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I really am reticent to even say anything, because I just

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: honestly, because I have such respect for them, and I have such respect for the choices that they've made, and from what I can tell the reasons why they made those choices. but really something that Prince Harry said this morning is was so.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It just really hit me, and I loved it, and I know that other people have said similar things in other capacities. But I just love how he came out so strongly with this and that statement. Actually, I got to pull it up. Here, hold on 1 s. Where is it? Where is it? That statement that he said was, oh, i'll find it here. It is

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in this book. Of course he's talking about his new book spare in this book.

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I've been more vulnerable

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: than I have ever been in my life.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I've never felt stronger.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Obviously we've got people out there like you know. Okay, now, i'm trying to find you all again. There, you okay. Obviously, there, we have plenty of people talking about vulnerability, especially Renee Brown. She became very well known for her, Ted Talk the power of vulnerability. If you have not seen that yet, you must see it. It was groundbreaking, and I think it

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: had

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it it. It it resonated with so many people because so many cultures. I would speak for the American culture, you know. Obviously there's a lot of no image and acting like you have it all together, and thinking you need to be strong and people being scared of being vulnerable, and I think I've talked at length, and I can talk it even more length about why it is scary to be vulnerable to share with others how we're really feeling. To speak our Truth, to tell our story

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to, you know, sort of show what's behind the veil or behind the you know, behind the persona that we have, there's a lot of reasons why we're scared. I can also talk at length about why, that what you know where that comes from. In childhood I have so many clients I've worked with who say that there's you know they've been terrified to share their true feelings, because their true feelings have been used against them to hurt them. And in any case, you know, there are all kinds of reasons why we're scared of being vulnerable, and then oftentimes vulnerable.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the ability actually it can vary for different people, sometimes being vulnerable, but sometimes showing one emotion, can feel more vulnerable to them than other emotions, and it can be the opposite for other people. So for some, for a lot of people, you know, for example, a lot of men. It's scary to show to show sadness or fear. Those are considered very vulnerable emotions, because most men are steeped in this expectation that they have to be strong, and oftentimes

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the safe emotion for them is actually anger, because anger is a strong emotion, it's an empowering emotion, and it is it can be very pop us up and make us feel stronger. But really oftentimes it masks that sense of sadness or insecurity of fear, whereas it can actually be the opposite for other people, For some people showing anger can actually make them feel more vulnerable, because then they feel like they're out of control, and other people won't. Take them seriously. So the point is, they're all kinds of

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there.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know, motions and experiences and behaviors that can cause us, or stories that we have inside, you know, that can cause us to feel vulnerable and, like I said, it's different for everyone. But what I really really love here, of course, is the juxtaposition that he expresses. I have never been more vulnerable.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and yet, at the same time I have never felt stronger.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so I think it begs the question of well, and I don't want to put words in his mouth. A lot of people have been putting a lot of words in his mouth. And it's really upsetting to me as I, as I read about some of these things, because I can see his genuine, earnest, sincere heart

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in wanting to speak his Truth. That's how i'm interpreting it is that he really wants his Truth to be heard and especially after decades, as he kept repeating 38 years of having other stories told about him, and not really being able to tell his side of the story. And I just want to point out. I just want to stop for a moment and think of experiences in your own life. And I definitely have these experiences where other people have said a lot of other things about me.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but I haven't felt like I could speak my own Truth for whatever reason. Maybe it's because i'm trying to protect other people, or maybe it's because I feel like it won't do any good. But I know that i'm not going to change that person's mind, or maybe because you know they're all kinds of reasons, or because you know, this person was being very, very, very abusive, and I was afraid of retaliation. So there are all kinds of reasons why we don't speak our own Truth, and obviously he has had a lot of reasons why he Hasn't, spoken his own Truth.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know. I think he would say, that you know a lot of this because of the family. He grew up in and the environment around that family with the press and the the relationship between that family and the British media. And so the point is, though I I for what I can tell again. I'm not interested really in interpreting what he says. I really admire him for speaking his own Truth, and especially in such a vitriolic environment. but it's that that the the a lot of that strength is coming from

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: speaking his Truth and speaking telling his story. And when we tell our story that innately vulnerable because we're sharing things from our own lives, and how we've interpreted situations, or how we experience certain situations and the emotions that brought up. that that is innately in and of itself can feel very vulnerable for us to tell our own Truth, to speak or to tell our own story, because we're also putting it out there.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Forget other people to have their opinions about, and those opinions can be hurtful for them to have their interpretations about it. He talks about that in that interview as well. I highly. By the way, I recommend watching that interview with Prince Harry and Stephen Colbert because one thing, Stephen Colbert is an incredible interviewer. I mean as much as he's a comedian. He is.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: from what I can tell you is deeply empathic, very wise soul, possibly partly because of his own grief and his experiences with his family

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and having lost family members, and then to be able to connect with Harry, and that way he asks some really incredible questions. Of course he gets into some funny ones as well. but I just really I just really encourage you to watch that that it so I think it's very insightful

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and revealing and powerful. but also I would say to that when we tell our own story. And again I'm going to sort of draw from what I've heard from Prince harry's. It's also that the book is about admitting his own mistakes.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: admitting his own mistakes, admitting his own struggles, and so that can also be a very vulnerable thing as well, that when we have made mistakes a lot of times. We're afraid to admit them, because because there's a sign that kind of weakness in that right like I screwed up.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I must I didn't have it all together. I didn't know what I was doing, whatever you know it's whatever

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: things led to those mistakes that we made. The point is, admitting that we may have a state, can feel very vulnerable, and also admitting our own struggles, and he's been very open about his mental health struggles. I I I actually say, when when heads together in his organization, that he, from my understanding co-created with with his brother and his brother's wife that heads together. It was really all about

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: alleviating the stigma around mental health in the Uk. And just I just was so thrilled when I saw heads together, because sadly mental health struggles have often have a lot of stigma around them. I think that's I think that's breaking down that's starting to dissolve some of those sickness which is fantastic. Thank you. Heads together and thank you to You know other people like Prince Harry who are bringing forward the fact that Yes, okay, I'm: in this privileged position. And I was born into wealth, and

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and you know all kinds of things, and at the same time I have mental health struggles. Obviously a lot of celebrities have done the same. you know. People who haven't even been born into his position are saying, You know I struggle. I have depression. I have bipolar disorder. I struggle with borderline personality disorder. There are a lot of people who are doing that, and so emitting those struggles to feel extremely terrifying and vulnerable to Gomez. Her documentary is fantastic about that where she talks about her issues. But the point is, I'm basically what i'm doing.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So i'm looking at sort of things that in that can create that feeling of vulnerability, or it can also cause us to feel really vulnerable and scared of being that vulnerable but here's the thing again

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: talking about the vulnerability part of it. You know I've never been more vulnerable. And at the same time I've never felt stronger. So there's that vulnerable aspect.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And yet how is it that being vulnerable

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in those ways, can actually make us feel stronger.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And this is what I think is so cool, and the reason why I said that I have it like fully formed. This topic is because there's so much I can say so much more. I can say about this, but i'm just as usual. Just gonna give you quick tidbits

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of my own immediate thoughts about why

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: being vulnerable

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: can also be so empowering and so strengthening.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: First of all, let's look at the reasons why we tend to avoid being vulnerable.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We're afraid of getting hurt.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We're afraid of being judged. We're afraid of being upset with ourselves, because we sometimes, you know a lot of us emitting first and foremost to ourselves that we made a mistake, that we have a struggle and a lot of times. We're too terrified to do that because of make up all these meetings Well, and i'm a bad person or i'm at this, or i'm with that or what other people have said about me is true. Those bad things. They're all kinds of reasons why we create those

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: defenses

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: around ourselves, and even within ourselves to protect us from admitting that we've made mistakes. Admitting that we have struggles immediate. Admitting that we feel vulnerable underneath what may be a very

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: having it all together, or a very, you know, powerful or strong exterior. And

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: here's the thing, though, when you finally

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: admit those things

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that make you feel vulnerable. What are you doing?

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: For one thing? It's we're dropping

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: our defenses.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: No, look and let me let me clarify that

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: we're letting down our guards. We're dropping our defenses.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I want to clarify before I go further. When I say guards and defenses, I don't mean boundaries.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay, I don't mean boundaries. So when we're letting down our guard when we're dropping our defenses when we're admitting what's actually going going on behind the walls of that fortress that you know we've been putting up with the rest of the you know, towards the rest of the world. We're actually

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what happens in that moment

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is that recognition of

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I I don't. I don't want to defend this anymore. I don't want to hide this anymore.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And when we do that by dropping our defenses or dropping our guards.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We're actually

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what happens internally. And I talk about this with the X Powers, and if you know my work with the exPowers and the 3 types. You can

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: tell that a lot of times what I'm talking about is in our Defender; that our Defenders are the ones who who believe that they have to protect us and put up walls and defenses around this. Obviously, Controllers are defense mechanisms, too.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But Defenders are sort of that. The sort of main one

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is basically all that energy that went into defending ourselves. We're trying to protect ourselves

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: dissolved.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We stop putting so much energy

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: towards that self protection that defensiveness, those defenses.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so when we let go of putting our energy towards that.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: then guess what happens? We can reclaim it

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for ourselves. So when energetic terms. That is a big part

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of what being vulnerable to use Harry's example being vulnerable, can actually even an energetic way feel so strengthening

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because we say, i'm done. I am done playing the game. I am done trying to protect myself or not. Not not again, not in a boundaries way, but done trying to act as though I've got it all together. Act as though I feel stronger.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Then I then I appear to

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I'm done playing the game, and i'm choosing, to speak my Truth, to say what's true for me.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and while some people may want to take advantage of that, or they might, they want to attack me, which you've seen happen with Harry. At the same time there are people will say, Yes, Thank you.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for admitting that you've been in pain. Thank you for being such an example of speaking your Truth, and such a as an example of empowerment to say you know what

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: people are gonna say those things. That's the reality. I still choose to speak, and in fact, i'll just use myself as an example. You know. I used to live in fear of criticism and attack, and and and being seen as one way or another, because I experience that growing up. But when I finally

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: realized that.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and actually it came because of a bunch of experiences in my own life in which I was being nice and being great and being helpful, and all these great things, and I was still being attacked.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It finally hit me. You know what. No matter what I do.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: somebody is going to attack me.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Somebody is going to criticize me for something, no matter what I do. I could be Mother Teresa and i'm still gonna get Tara torn down for something. When I finally accepted that and realized that there's no point in trying to protect myself from that or avoid that. It was so free because it's like, okay one.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I don't need to keep playing with game. I don't need to keep trying to make people happy who are going to heat me, no matter what I don't need to keep trying to impress or you know, help other people who want to attack me. It it's not in their interest to see me as the good guy, if anything, their stake. Isn't seeing me as the bad guy, or wanting to criticize me, or whatever their own reasons, even if I've done nothing to hurt them.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so finally accepting that and going, okay.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay, you know what this is gonna happen, no matter what I do. You know what I might as well just be myself.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I might as well, just on my Truth, speak my to tell my story. I might as well just say, you know, here's what I've screwed up, or here's what i'm sad about, or you know, here's what i'm struggling with.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and you find that it's so freeing.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and that actually the cage in which you've kept kept yourself with those protective mechanisms and those defense mechanisms that those were actually what was causing the most.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So while it can be really really scary

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and painful and hard, and especially hard to get to that point where you say, okay, this is what i'm going to do. It can be really hard, really painful. And it can be really risky

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to speak your Truth, to admit your mistakes. Admit your struggles, whatever that looks like for you.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's also so incredibly.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it's that freedom

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it feels so empowering and strengthening.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because I'm going to quote actually even some time here, and the song, No one is alone.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because you know, no one is alone, meaning that you know it's interesting how in song. He actually turns it on the senses. No one is alone. In other words, you have people on your side. You're also gonna have people who are not on your side, and they are not alone either.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it's just the reality of it. So how do you choose to live and show up, and what is the most empowering choice for you

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in that situation?

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is it to keep cowing to the people who want to make you feel weaker.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or to choose the path that makes you feel stronger.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and that is why

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that vulnerability.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and choosing to be vulnerable and choosing to speak our Truth even in the face of opposition and vital can actually make us so much stronger.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And that is ultimately

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I I have to say again, it's it's funny. I feel conflicted about talking, even talking about Harry and Meghan because they're because they're human beings, and they they have their own stories and

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and and and also because I really respect them, and I really respect

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what they're doing by telling their Truth. And also I want to say to

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for my language point.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They did what I am always telling other people that that we're not telling people to do but what i'm always advocating for. And I do this with myself as much as possible, and that is to put my emotional well-being first.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and to value my emotional well, being as my greatest

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: asset

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and that what I see in them

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is that that that's what they finally had to choose. It got to be too painful

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and too toxic

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and too terrifying

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to stay in that environment where.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: from what I can tell, it's like you're literally surrounded by sharks. There's no safe space to just be.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and there's no

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: appeasing or

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: placating or making even making the people around you really happy. I've been in this situation

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: myself, and so my point is, I see that the choice that they made

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: they chose their emotional well, being their mental health over everything else.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and that is absolutely, in my opinion, the best thing you can possibly do. That's how I see that our mental well, being on emotional well, being is our greatest asset. But when people ask me, what are you most

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: proud of in your own life. And I say my emotional well, it's like worked so hard for it.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and i'm always working hard

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to be emotionally well and healthy, and it can be really really hard to do that, because it can be making tough choices and changes in our lives, and speaking our own Truth even in the face of opposition and vitriol and fear.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So I again, I've seen a lot. It's kind of like like vomit of like just stuff that's coming to me. But really inspired by what Harry said.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And and then, of course, you know why I I really am

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: very grateful for their example in in in choosing mental health, and also grateful for his words of that.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: even in his, in being his most vulnerable. That's when he feels strongest. And so with that I like to. You should end with a a call to action, and a question for you is, what's a choice that you can make

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: looks. It feels really vulnerable to you.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But intuitively you know the Truth, notes

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: they on the other side of speaking that vulnerability, or exposing that, or speaking your own Truth to telling that story that ultimately will be empowering and strengthening.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Want you to think about that in your own life.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What can you do? And it doesn't have to be some massive revelation. It can be something small

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that you can ultimately

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: sort of

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: gain some strength from making that small admission, or or showing that small bit of vulnerability that can also be ultimately build up to bigger expressions and vulnerability. But that will ultimately

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: helps you feel stronger

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in your own life, and then your own

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: being in story.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So, thanks as always for listening listening. I love you, and until next week I will see you later.

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Bye.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Oh, before I should end that.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: go take my free course. Community now ChangeLight dot world. Get in the community. Get on there, take the free course. I will see you in there. Okay, Bye.


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