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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

"How do you want to feel?"

Next time you're about to make a decision, I want you to consider something:

Everything we do, we do for a feeling.

Either we want a particular feeling, or we're trying to avoid one.

Even decisions that seem purely logical are often fueled by feelings. For example, when looking at financial plans, you may think you're comparing them based solely on the numbers. But look at your decision-making from a feelings perspective, and you'll discover deeper truths. One plan may give you a feeling of security and trust (thereby avoiding anxiety and fear), while another makes you feel excited and bold (thereby avoiding boredom and missing out). The feeling you want (or don't want) ultimately determines which plan you choose.

In trying to create the lives we desire, we often ask ourselves, "What do I want?" However, this question is insufficient because:

What we want often isn't that thing -

what we want are the feelings we expect that thing will give us.

For example, a man may think he wants a red Ferrari, but what he may really want is to feel sexy, confident, and the envy of his friends and colleagues. A woman may think she wants a relationship with a guy who satisfies every item on her checklist, but what she may ultimately want is to feel loved, accepted, understood, and cared for.

Therefore, in creating the lives we desire (and in every situation in our lives, for that matter), the most powerful and effective question to ask ourselves is:

"How do I want to feel?"

It bypasses the analytical left brain, cutting through to the very marrow of what you desire - not just what you think you desire (which can be influenced by shoulds, expectations, and marketing).

Not only that, it massively shifts your energy field, thereby magnetizing to you what will bring you those feelings - whether in work, home, relationships, health, etc. And the results can be truly surprising!

My marriage is a perfect example. My husband and I were friends for many years before we started dating. In all those years, I never once thought of him romantically. However, after my life completely fell apart, I started focusing less on what I wanted and more on how I wanted to feel. Before long, he and I reconnected, and, much to my surprise, how I feel in our relationship is what I've always desired - and more! The Universe knew better than I that we were a match!

Stop trying to figure out how to get what you want,

and start asking yourself how you want to feel...

And let me know how it goes.


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