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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | 3 Questions That Will Help You Love Your Body More...





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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Inner Work for Greater Good. My name is Emily Eldredge. I am so happy to see you here. We talk about the inner work that's necessary to help you feel better, so that you can do better and be a better human being, and make a better difference in the world. Shine your lights. That's what this is all about


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: today. I want to talk about body and our relationship with our bodies, how we feel about our bodies, and why it is so vital


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that we embrace our bodies as they are in the moment. That's not to say that we may not want to improve our bodies in some ways, or get stronger or healthier.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but the value of, especially when it comes to inner work and and in inner well being the value of actually loving it, accepting your body. And I came up with 3 questions that I know that I think will help elicit


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: shifts in perspective of


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how you see your body, how you feel about your body. The stories you tell yourself, whether or not you criticize yourself, etc. They're gonna kind of poke some holes in the ways that we typically do deal with our bodies or approach our bodies or see our bodies. This has been loving myself, and my own body has been an interesting journey for me, as i'm. Sure it is for you for a lot of women and men to, of course, struggle with Bod Image.


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I'll just tell you briefly. I grew up in a I went to a girls school in Dallas, Texas, where it was like all the girls were super super skinny. and I was always tall and kind of big shouldered, and I always felt like a horse compared to all of them, and I always wondered like why. You know everyone's so skinny, and I feel so fat, even though I was not, I was not heavy or fat, or anything. I even hate those words, but I wasn't, and but the point is, I nevertheless always had a critical attitude towards my body, and I always looked at other girls bodies and wish that I had their body.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I actually learned in college. Someone made a passing comment to me. At 1 point they said, that you know the incidence of eating disorders in girls schools is higher than in a lot of other environments, and I thought. Well, that's that would might explain something. And sure enough, I also found out that you know, Years later I found out that a lot of the people around me had eating disorders. They had very toxic relationships with their own bodies, you know they were binging, or they had anorexia. So


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it explained in a lot of ways. Why, I was seeing sort of almost like distorted bodies, and that also part of that was because, since girls aren't around guys every single day in in a girls school that a lot of times there is this assumption by girls that will guys expect us to look like models from the magazines. And so and plus, of course, the school I want to was really intense and competitive. And so, you know.


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always working really, really hard into them that, of course, applied to some where it's like. Well, I got to make my body better along with my grades. So, anyway, the point is, i'm just giving you some background in terms of my relationship with my body. I was not given any messages by by my mother, or like anyone in my family that somehow I wasn't healthy, or that I need to lose weight. I did the vast majority of it to myself. I always wanted to be better, but then the other side of it was, I didn't necessarily want to have to work that hard to make


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: my body better, but I still carry the better, I should say, to make myself thinner. Let's put it that way. Hmm. Notice that that that belief that was sitting there. But the point is that over the years. I've had a really kind of, you know, just like a lot of it's a distorted perception of my own body and a certain perfectionism, a certain self criticism.


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an an and an anxiety and aggravation Irritation Never enough in this, never good enoughness like feeling inside, like I don't remember in all the years, I mean even there was a period of time when I was a lot thinner, but I was a lot bigger because I was sick


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because I had an illness, and so I was having to eat a certain way that was extremely restrictive. And so, as a result, my body got a lot thinner.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so I liked being thinner, but at the same time the consequence. Well, that what was going on with my body was, I was also covered in eczema all over, so it's like oh, great! I'm thin now. But then i'm like bleeding from my skin everywhere all over my body, in my face, so I mean it was one of those like I like to being thinner, but I also didn't like having a and being sick all the time.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So long story shorter in now. I'm. 47 years old.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and in the past few years, starting around when I was thinking it was 43 44, my body started to change. Now, those of you ladies who are older than I am probably know what i'm talking about, where my body wasn't responding the way it used to. So it used to be that if I just cut out sugar.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: then the fat wouldn't actually start to come off of my body, and I could get thinner again.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That's not happening. That's not happening a few years ago, and at first it kind of freaked me out because I was like, oh, my God, i'm heavier like, you know I have out of my body. And what is this? And you know it's not working anymore. So the old approaches didn't work.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that was set me on the past few years. Something like all right, you know, realizing I am a middle aged woman, and my metabolism is changing, and I believe the estrogen levels are dropping, and you know there's different reasons why our bodies change right.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and you know I don't know if i'm pretty mon a puzzle theory, whatever I don't know. But the point is that's been one of the things I've noticed is that it's not as like the body holds on my body holds on to fat.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and in those typical ways, on my belly and all that kind of stuff a lot more than it used to. And so the point is, I've been trying a lot of different things, and maybe you have to. And I've learned some really interesting stuff My attitude became. I really I'm giving a lot of exposition here, and I will get into the 3 questions and then.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But I realized that it really taught me. You know what to accept. First of all that. Okay, my body changed. You know my body is changing. This is what happens to women, my age and it's going to keep happening. And so I need to learn how to work with this


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new body that I have. Obviously it's not totally new. It's just a a normal thing. But still I realize you know what my body is responding differently. So it's almost like I need to figure out how to work with it now, the way it is.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so I ended up learning about, you know metabolism. But then I also end up learning about different workout programs, and how like certain workout programs, in fact, that historically most workout programs have been designed for for by men for men.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and that men's bodies are very different from women's bodies in terms of how we respond to exercise and the type of exercise that we do, and why, when a lot of times women try to do it, that masculine. Not that we see it that way. But there's a lot of times when it is that masculine, you know. Work out regimen


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: if we actually end up holding on to the fact that something to do with cortisol. There are other people who can talk about it much better than I, but that that a lot of those workout programs actually cause women. You know, a lot of port is all to to to get into our system which actually holds onto the fact. So that's just a little bit of information in case you're curious. I highly recommend looking.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: looking that up and looking at it. You know.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: if you're curious about this looking at looking at, you know


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: exercise programs for women, if you like to exercise, but want to do it in a way that's healthy for your body. I'm going to talk about that a little bit. But the point is that just a few months ago I actually had this realization. First of all, I read this article about fat.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and, by the way, I know some I I know. I feel as i'm talking about that as opposed to other issues that we have with our bodies. But that seems to be sort of a pervasive issue or or concern that women have.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That's that. I got this article, and and and I can share it because shared it on my Facebook. But I read this article that was about actually the benefits that


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the health benefits of fact? Why, we have facts on our bodies. And actually, you know, the the good the fat does for us, and also people in old, old, you know, past times the people who could retain that on their bodies actually quite a survival advantage. They had an evolutionary advantage.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and it made me kind of. We sort of feel differently about the fat on my body, and start to be like, you know, this isn't such a bad thing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And again, I understand i'm not obese. I'm not unhealthy, but just help me shift in terms of oh, you know my body is actually trying to. My! That's actually trying to help me.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know that that my body is actually trying to help me by retaining this, that in some ways. So


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the point is that oops that shifted


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: sorry. Let me turn that off that shifted that that's part of what shipped in my perspective. And then something else happened


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: which


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: at the which really helped, and that was I don't remember what triggered this thought. It's something to consider, and it's going to kind of lead them to these questions.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I think of other people in the world, and I was thinking of like people who have cancer, and whether they're my age or any other age. Let's say they have cancer.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Let's say they're on healthier than I. You know. Maybe a lot larger than I am. I have more fat than I do, and you know, wish they had my body.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Here I am. With that I was wishing I had other People's lives in.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know they're wishing I had my bike. I was thinking about, you know, and I was thinking about for me


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that there's going to be a time knock on wood hopefully. It's not very soon, but there will be a time


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when I have an illness, for my body is breaking down.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and i'm going to really wish it were different. I'm going to really wish that it wasn't just like oh, I would like to drop fat, and I wish I could feel this illness, or I wish I could fix this issue. You know something much more terrible frankly, than having.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the point is, it just shifted it? I wish I could articulate this better, because it really shifted in a wonderful way. How many


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: we just stop with this criticism, even just the subconscious, you know sort of chatter in the back of my brain. I'm thinking anything negative about my body, because my body is doing a great job right now, and there may be a time. There will be a time, but I wish


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I wish I really appreciated how I felt back then. I wish I really appreciated. You know how much Skinny or I was back then, or or how much healthier I was, or how good my scheme looked, or whatever like


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that i'm gonna. There's gonna be a time when I wish I appreciate it myself more. In fact, I was actually one of these Facebook groups, and there was a woman in there who was in her like forties or fifties, and she posted a photo of herself when she was in her twenties like with a bikini on this boat, and she looked


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I mean she was really thin. She had the body that a lot of women which they had. And she said, I I wish I actually appreciated my body back then


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when I had it. But instead I was so self.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it's another verse. It's kind of like that where it's just like you know. What am I doing sitting here criticizing myself. We're even thinking anything negative about my body.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know, and not fully appreciated where who I am, and where I am, how I feel like that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you may or may not identify with that. But the point is, it's led me to some questions


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that I think are really important to consider that that you know Hopefully, by sharing with you you can


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: ask yourself this questions. Write him in your girl. Write down whatever. and ask yourself these questions. All right. So here's the first question.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When it comes to criticizing yourself.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or thinking negative thoughts about your body. So when it comes to criticizing your body, thinking negative thoughts about your body.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: does it work?


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is a really important question, because a lot of times, and this applies not just to how we feel about our bodies. This actually applies across the board. We most of us carry this assumption. And we learn this usually from childhood or environment, that criticizing ourselves is actually that it actually works


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well. If I criticize myself, then i'm going to improve that thing if I criticize myself, or I think that. But well, then, that's going to motivate me to do better.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Really. Is that true? Something to question. Ask yourself, does it work? Not loving your body. not accepting your body?


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: How does it feel when you do this sort of corollary with this first one.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and you might want to ask yourself the pros and the cons. So the yes, okay, the the the pros of actually criticizing yourself or thinking bad thoughts about your body


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: versus what's not working? What doesn't work? How does this not serve me


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and make a list and see what comes up? I personally have found that I am much more effective. and then I stick with. You know life changes, or new regiments, or eating healthy or whatever I stick with those a whole lot better


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and longer


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when I do it from a place of peace within myself, when I do it from a place of self acceptance. When I do it from a place of I'm doing this because it feels good, not because i'm trying to, you know, get rid of the criticism and the self shaming or not, because well, I I need to be better. And you know, because of the negative thoughts


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to be motivated by that negative negative thoughts like I personally, that doesn't work from it.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So you know, if anything, the times that I happened then it was only because I was dealing with a health issue, and I wasn't criticized because of self criticism, because I was just eating differently, and then the fat came off my body.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So. But ask yourself. Does it work


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to think negative thoughts about yourself? Is it really that motivating from a healthy perspective, in a healthy way, in a lasting way, a lot of times what happens when it comes to trying to make changes in our bodies. You know they always talk about this with weight, boss, and all that kind of stuff is that we'll like jump into it. No, I'm going to really do this for.


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and they jump people jump into it for a while.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but then it falls on. Either they go at it too fast and too hard, or they get frustrated because they're not getting fast enough results, whatever it is. But the point is, it's not sustainable


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in my experience. It's not sustainable to do things from this negative place, from a self critical place that my experience. At least this is how it works for me. I will just say that for myself. Is it works for a place that if I focus on. Oh, what are the benefits of this? Oh, how could this help me feel better.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but also from a place up and and and this is what happened to me recently. I was in this place of like. I have my body i'm not insecure. I love my body. It's great, but then I notice i'm like Well, i'm starting to, you know, be a little lax with my eating. So you know what i'm gonna start working out and start doing this work out.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and in my case it's 20 min a day for 4 days a week.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and it's and i'm getting results. But the point is, I feel better do I notice that my body is changing? Does it look like I'm losing late? I am definitely not losing fact as quickly as I used to, which is kind of like a. But i'm like


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I feel better doing this. So it's not from criticism. It's more from like I I like to feel good, you know, and I feel good doing this, you see, not like I have to get thin because I want to.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: first question. Does it work right down the pros and cons. How does it feel when you think negative about your body? Okay, this is all by way of shifting how you see yourself and shifting those in your feelings.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Number 2. Who would I be slash? How would I feel? Slash? What would I do differently


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: if I accepted my body.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay. So if you accepted your body, let's just pretend you're already that person who accepts your body completely, even if you're this big or this big or this bigger, this big whatever.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or or or if you're sick, maybe you do have an illness, and you're you're in this inner wall with your own body.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Who would you be? How would you feel? What would you do differently if you accepted Goodbye


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: as it is right now.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Who would you be if you accepted your Imagine yourself. Please state of love and acceptance for yourself in your body. How would you feel?


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: How would you move to the world? What different choices would you make? How would you approach? You know the way you press? How would you feel with your friends? You know. How would you feel in bed with your partner.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know there are all kinds of ways that your life can change.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: If you were to accept yourself, and it's good to think of it almost hypothetically.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What if I accepted myself fully in my body? What if I really did embrace my body the way it is, and appreciate what it does for me, and appreciate where I am right now


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I wouldn't see you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There's another really good question to ask, and then the third one is.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and this one this one I got to be honest with you this one i'm a little bit certain about, because but I want to make sure this is received in the healthiest way.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and that is.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: who can inspire me to love my body more


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when I, when i'm talking about that i'm. Usually in my case I think about people who are like in the public eye.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and I look at some people where you know. Maybe they have a lot more fat on their bodies than I do, and they embrace themselves so completely like they just shine their light. So I think, Lizzo, the singer, and the flowers like she's.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I don't even follow her that much. But from a little bit I've seen i'm like she's amazing. and she's like, and she's so much. You know she has more fat on her body than I do. and it's like she just shines her life like.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Look here, she does. She's just completely herself. Does she have an insecurities? Possibly.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But at the very least this is how it appears. It's like she seems like someone completely embraces herself, or


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: sometimes i'll see, like celebrities who went from being super super thin, and then they kind of normalize it, You know. They get some. They are not super skinny anymore. Now they're sort of more normal. What I can say i'm looking. That's not. I don't want to put judgments on here, but you know they've gained some weight. Let's say they have more found their bodies now and then. They'll say, you know why? Because this is healthier for me. Back. Then I was miserable. I was depressed.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I was on drugs. I was, you know, starting myself, you know, whatever.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and they're like, but I set myself more now, and this is my body, and I embrace my body as it is to me that's inspired because I look at it. You know what that person can do, and They're like famous, and everybody is looking at them, and they're like, You know what i'm what my mind is. I'm like. I can do this


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so to me. That's how to look at it, if you is to let other people inspire you not to this. In my opinion, when it comes to comparing myself to others. I'm. I


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: do not compare myself to others. If it's a form of criticizing myself, I only do as a form of inspiring. So you know that person's really inspiring me. What person, what they're honestly with their vulnerability, with their their service to the world, with their whatever like. Wow! That's really inspiring and wonderful, and it makes me. It gives me confidence. It makes me feel more confident


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to like. I can do the same thing, you see. So when it comes to your body. There are now so many more examples. We're not living in the 50 S. Anymore. We've got so many more examples of the body, positivity, and all that. But people who are just saying, You know it's really old.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I feel so much better


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when I love myself, and I embrace my body. And frankly, whoever is going to criticize me, that's your stuff. That is your negativity. That is your self criticism, and they reject it.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that's something else to consider. You know what if this person can grace themselves, and I can embrace myself too. So I just want to share those things. I also want to encourage when it comes to loving and accepting your body. The reality is, we all have different bodies, so there are plenty of people who could look at my body like oh, my God! I wish I had her body, and you know there's people I can look at it. You can be like. Well, I wish I had her on.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know, so we can all have. But we all have different phones. We all have different metabolism. We all have different goals. We all have different stressors. We all have different life experiences, You know. There are a lot of. There are a lot of situations where, like certain kinds of trauma results in people actually having a lot of fatimal bodies as a kind of self protection.


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So we all have different factors in our lives in different bodies, in in our lives, and in our bodies that affect


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: how we appear in the world. I strongly encourage you to do what works for you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So follow somebody else's, you know, ideal, or you know, or think that month I gotta do this thing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Do what works for you, and if you really feel like this is what I've done for myself. You know I tried different exercise programs, and it's like some of them. I was like, you know this is stressing me out too much. I don't want this to be stressful, so I let it go. I tried another one i'm like, oh, I kind of like this one. This actually


00:21:29.180 --> 00:21:36.880

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: builds in rest, which is kind of which is kind of cool, and it's designed for limit. Oh, okay, so I do that. Then there's another one. It's like a dance one.


00:21:36.910 --> 00:21:52.200

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so the point is, do it feels like for you, or even when it comes to eating, do what feels right and good and healthy for you. It means having sometimes to just scrape away all the external excess messages that we get.


00:21:52.200 --> 00:22:03.260

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and really tune into your own body, and trust your own body and honor your own body. I guarantee you that by doing that you are going to get wildly better results.


00:22:03.590 --> 00:22:11.200

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Then, if you go through like for the sizing, well, thinking negative things about your body, because a lot of times the body actually responds to us.


00:22:11.380 --> 00:22:21.050

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So if we have positive talks about our bodies, the bodies are going to work better. This is why this is also about in our work for greater, because the body is a beautiful for which you go through life.


00:22:21.520 --> 00:22:29.880

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And if your body, if you're thinking negative about your body, it's going to reflect in your body, in your emotional wellbeing


00:22:29.970 --> 00:22:31.720

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and in your chemical. Well.


00:22:31.870 --> 00:22:48.140

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so this is super super important that we really that we all, and we're just talking. Now. We all have positive feelings about our own bodies again, not to say you don't want to make some adjustments. I've been working on stuff, but i'm doing it from a place, as I said, positivity about myself.


00:22:48.140 --> 00:22:52.270

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: not getting the results as quickly as I used to it. You suppressed me, and now i'm like


00:22:52.350 --> 00:22:56.400

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: all right. You know what I'm just gonna keep doing this because guess what it's good.


00:22:56.720 --> 00:23:01.030

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and you know when my if my body responds to it by dropping fat. Then wait.


00:23:01.050 --> 00:23:04.630

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In the meantime I feel great. It's making me go better


00:23:06.060 --> 00:23:12.140

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and like I said, You know one of the things that really shifted me to was to think that you know it it


00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.590

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in a in a healthy way, I think, project into the future.


00:23:15.670 --> 00:23:28.820

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and it, or even in the past, and think you know what there have been times when my body, you know. Maybe maybe you've gone through a a a life threatening illness, or maybe you know, maybe one day you will.


00:23:28.850 --> 00:23:31.030

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or maybe


00:23:31.120 --> 00:23:46.610

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know the the like. I I I'll just give you an example. I I spent a lot of time around people in wheelchairs with spinal cord injuries. My husband's on a wheelchair Rugby team. He doesn't have a spinal cord injury. His physical difference is one without legs and 6 fingers. But the point is that


00:23:46.940 --> 00:23:51.110

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: there are all these guys who have been through well


00:23:51.480 --> 00:24:03.190

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: like where they had such bad spinal cord injuries, but when they woke up they still all they could do is move their shoulders. And now they're world class athletes. So you talk about going from here to there that teaches you appreciation.


00:24:03.220 --> 00:24:09.110

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it's just a way of saying like, Compare if you whether it's comparing to where you have been in the past.


00:24:09.150 --> 00:24:19.220

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or comparing to, you know, sort of not to freak yourself out, but in the future, like we're all we all age, and so the body doesn't respond as much as we want to, necessarily as we age. So


00:24:19.240 --> 00:24:26.190

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know what I appreciate it the way it is right now where you are, and and let yourself and accept yourself


00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:40.960

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: all right. I hope this has been helpful, as always. This is Emily Eldredge. Please do check out the free course, free community and ChangeLight that world, and you can always email me with any questions.


00:24:42.070 --> 00:24:46.500

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: All right. Great to see you next week.


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