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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello! Hello! Hello! And welcome to Inner Work for Greater Good. My name is Emily Eldredge. I am the founder of ChangeLight, the creator of the ChangeLight System where we're all about helping, you feel more at peace and more empowered on the inside, so that you can make an even bigger difference in the world. That's what the inner work, and the greater good connection is because when we feel better about ourselves and more at peace with ourselves. Don't you think we're actually better human beings and better in the world? We have better relationships, and we do better
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: work, etc., etc. Well, dear, I need to silence my phone. Do not disturb so, anyway. I'm so glad you're here. So I had an interesting running last night. I live in New York City, and I was coming back from an event, and I went to the bus station to head at Madison Avenue to go home.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and I saw this woman who I recognized, and I knew her from sort of this other group that we're in, and we didn't necessarily know each other. But we've seen her on Zoom. So I introduced myself. I said, oh, you're with, you know, and she was like Well.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So then it turned out. She was there with a friend of hers, and as usual, they ask you what I do, and I told them, I said, You know the ChangeLight System, and my signature process is called the Drawing Out Process, and that you know it can permanently heal. And in our child, or in our critic, or what have you in in 2 to 3 h.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and her friend was completely gobsmacked. She was like, how do you do that? And proceeded to tell me that she had done everything to heal her. Traumatized in her child. She had tried every technique, and you know, and she listed. She rattled off a bunch of you know techniques she tried, or teachers she'd gone to, or, you know, approaches, etc. And she said, I just it just. I've never been able to do that.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and she was like. So how the heck do you do that?
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I said, you know what I hear you, because the inner child can be extremely stubborn.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: extremely demanding.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And not only that, and I think I've mentioned this in previous episodes
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: there's often more than one. In fact, there's usually more than one in our child. So it's kind of a myth to say that you know you've got to heal your inner child as though there's only one in my experience. We actually have a lot I have drawn out, and not
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: a lot of children inside of me. And I've had clients who've drawn out multiple in her children inside of them, and each time we take that child through the Drawing Out Process it permanently heals, and that's in fully heals, and that's the whole point, and so she couldn't believe that that's even possible. So it made me think there maybe people other people out there can't quite believe that either maybe you or others, you know, have really tried hard to heal your inner child, or feel your inner children, and you've dialoged. And you
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: journal again. You've tried certain systems and techniques and stuff, and it's just never been enough, or it feels like to put to use her words along slog.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so this was a woman who'd spent decades, you know, in this long slog of trying to heal from her traumas, and especially to feel this in her child, or I would argue. It's probably her in her children, from the abuse that she suffered in the traumas that they've been through.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the without going into detail about my technique and how it actually
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: fully heals. That's actually something that I keep, for I mean it's a proprietary technique. So I keep it private. They're actually a lot of reasons why I mean you'll notice that even in these, you know episodes I talk about how i'm like you know that I don't actually share the full drawing up process, but that you can take my free course, which introduces you to the first few steps of the drawing up process just as a side note for whatever it's worth. The reason why I don't share the full process is because, frankly, it's a very intense process. It's more than
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's just the steps itself it's not like oh, i'm! Just through step one, and then this happens and step 2. This happens to set 3, and and it's all done. First of all, it's not necessarily that simple, because different parts need different kinds of attention need different questions. They need different approaches. And so that's one thing, and that requires
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: a trained, you know, someone with in my case at this point 13 years of experience doing this work, I developed it myself. And so I know intuitively usually what questions to ask and what different types of parts need so, but also because
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: if I've had actually clients who've gone through the process, and then they've tried taking other people through it. Other people have said, oh, it's this amazing thing you just did, and you say it's so great and take me through it. And they've tried.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it Hasn't worked. And actually, the results have not been so good, because then that person is open emotionally, and bleeding out, if you will like emotionally. And then my client, who, you know well intentioned, was trying to take them through the process wasn't able to do it, because they didn't know what they were doing, because they're not trained in it, and so far I am the only person who's trained in this technique. So i'm just for whatever it's worth. I just want you to know that that's why I don't say Well, here are the steps, because it's actually really irresponsible to do that.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because then people might be misled to believe that therefore they can do it on themselves. They can do it on other people, and it's just not appropriate. So, anyway, just want to throw that in there. But nevertheless, in my free course in the community it ChangeLight, dot world. You can actually take the first 3 steps and really experience lots of results.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that being said, let's talk about the inner child, and why it is that first of all, let me talk first about
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what causes an inner, a Wounded in her child to form. Now I use the term Wounded, because if you check back if you see my old episodes, or if you check back on all the episodes, you'll see that what those people call the you know the her inner child, or what have you I? Those are what I,
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: a a of exPower that I call Wounded. Okay, Their room. Did They're hurt? They're sad. They're crying. They feel powerless. They're sometimes stuck in a corner somewhere in the darkness, you know, curled away from the world, or they're throwing a temper tantrum. But the bottom line is that most in our children
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the vast majority are what I call Wounded, because they are carrying the wound, the hurts, the pains, the fears, the traumas, the the confusion, the sadness, the memories of when we were hurt, of an of experiences that were in some way hurtful or wounding to us. And so what causes, first and foremost, what causes
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: exPowers to form especially one is is the belief that they're unsafe so Wounded in some way or another, feel unsafe being who they are. Let's say in this case, in our children, then a Wounded in our child feels unsafe. That's why it's fallen into darkness, because it's realized that it's not being safe, being itself maybe safe, not expressing itself the way it wants to maybe safe in a physical sense. You know it's been actually physically, you know. If you were suffered some kind of physical abuse
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you guaranteed, you have some inner Wounded that are carrying the memories and the fears and the sadness and the trauma of that abuse being criticized so in some way or another, when a part of us.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and especially a child like part of this, is led to feel that we that it is unsafe, then that is usually what we would call an inner child, and or wound it in a child. I mean, there's the joyful in our child right. It's still happy and care free. But when we're talking about healing and inner child, that's what we're talking about. And so
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: with this in our child, you know, being hurt or Wounded, or sad or scared. There are all kinds of ways that it can show up.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so it can be really angry, and throwing a temper tantrum. It can be really confused, and not sure what to do or not. A nurse understanding why it was treated that way. It could feel really sad and scared because it's afraid it'll get hurt again, or it can also feel really neglected like you never got the nurturing or the attention that it needed, and a lot of times. It's. You know, those kinds of neglected room. That's what I I personally call them is that they can end up, you know, in the corner of a dark world
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in your subconscious, and sometimes you don't even know it's there, and sometimes it doesn't even know it's there like I've had in our children like that that I would call neglected, that they're actually curled up in a ball. And then, when we shine a light on them, you know, we we
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: bring them to the person's consciousness, and they suddenly say, Wow! I thought I was a ghost. I wasn't even sure, I insisted, so that can be the depth of neglect that this child part of us can feel. And again, we can have multiple different in our children, so you can have one that's throwing attention, tempor tantrum at the same time as you can have another one that's in that dark corner, feeling really sad and scared, or at the same time as you have another one that's really confused about why that kid treated you that way, or that teacher said
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that to your your parents did that to you. And so we have multiple in our children inside of us. That's something I want to make clear. So we're talking about healing the inner child. Well, you're not just talking about one in our child. We there are a lot. But the Truth is that yes, individually.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: these in our children can heal. So they fell into that darkness, or into that stage of science, confusion, fear, and or whatever, because they were led to feel unsafe or unheard, or neglected? Or what have you? And so the point is that that is not
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: their original state. So that's one reason why they can heal, because that's not actually their true essence to be stuck in that place. That is not
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: like their natural essence. That's not their Truth. That's not who they started off live as, and that is certainly not what they're you know, necessarily destined to end life, as all their many people do, and their lives with their inner children still hurting, still hurting and fearing. So the point is that justice they so they may be. We find them in darkness, if you will, but their true essence is light.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so it's simply a matter of bringing them back to light back to life. So you're bringing them out of the dark and back into the light, which is what my drawing up process does literally withdrawn is we actually tune in? We notice those parts. We draw them out. So by doing that you're doing a lot of things, but one of them is you're actually from them out of the darkness into the light. Now that alone
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: doesn't necessarily heal that in her child it takes several more steps to fully heal it in her child, and it takes addressing that child's unique needs, fears.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know all whatever is going on with that child. Maybe it has a story that it needs to share. Maybe it has multiple stories. It needs to share like, get it off its chest literally like unload and help it feel, heard.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and validated. And so, by drawing it, you're seeing it. That's a lot of times. What an inner child needs and wants so apparently especially those I really i'm jumping around. But these are like tidbits, especially like in in our tantrum in our child, usually one that's throwing a temper. Tantrum is like screaming for attention, and the problem is when we have that inner temper tantrum in child. Oftentimes we want to like, Shove it down. We want to push it aside because we don't want to feel that way, because we don't want to be the ones throwing the temper tant from outwardly
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it which makes it worse, but ultimately what it needs and what it wants is attention. I just had a session with a woman the other day, in which her in her child showed up
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: screaming bloody. But she was so angry she was stamping her feet. She was like this, which is really really common. And what it turned out was she just wanted to be seen and heard and validated, and she wanted the woman to do what she wanted her to do, which was to do more creatively.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, you know, just different in our children want and need different things. But this is what this one desperately wanted. So the point is is that in our children yes, they can permanently heal when they're seeing
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when they're hurt
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when they're validated, when their feelings are validated when their experiences are validated. How often do I have clients who have gone through some kind of abusive situation, and get the people around them denied it. Gas with them, acted like it didn't happen, dismissed their feelings, etc. That is
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: deeply wounding to an inner child to a part of us that's carrying those rooms, and so that will make it worse. And so validating.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: validating that child's feelings and its experiences, is huge, because a lot of times that's actually what has kept it stuff is that it never had, that it never got that so validation of feeling and and and stories being able to share its Truth, also being able to share its wisdom. So it's not just about that in her child, you know, conveying it's pain, and like you know, I i'm so upset about this sort of like. I was so hurt in this way.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's also that that child may have a listing for you, and it's like you need to hear me. So in terms of that other client that I had where it had. You know she had that little girl with screaming her head off with with rage. It's like she had wisdom for the woman that the woman kept dismissing for a lot of, you know, valid reasons in terms of her what was going on in her life, but that in her child was like No, you have to listen to me, and you need to do what I am telling you to do, because this will be good for
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: all of us. You know all of us internally and for you in your life. So that child had wisdom. So a lot of times the child has wisdom to share that if we're not listening to that wisdom. Then the child's going to keep being upset, or it's going to keep curling in a ball and saying, Never mind, there's no point in me trying to get through to anybody. It's just hopeless and helpless and useless so validating hearing
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: also very, very, very, very important. Remember what I said about that child or that part that exPowers fall into darkness because they feel unsafe. So how can you actually help fully bring that back to life
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: by helping it feel safe. So, seeing, hearing, validating, those are things that hugely help it.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: feel safe to say, I see you. I hear you. I get you. Guess I understand why you're feeling that way. Gosh, yes, I remember that memory, or thank you for sharing that validates, that child that parts experiences. It's feelings. And so
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: excuse me. It helps it feel safe.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So when you bring something back to safety
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that is huge, that is the huge part of the healing process and safety in connection with. So it's also what children, little the little child and in our child really wants and needs safety and connection to feel safely connected with you
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or within the world, safe within the world. So a lot of times, by the end of a Drawing Out Process session, that child that's gone from throwing a temperature temperature or scared and, like locked, you know, feels locked in a window. List Doorless room. That's of the times how they'll show up those neglected being. The sort of stream is that by the end they're hugging the person
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There's this beautiful invoice with that person, or maybe it's with another part within the person what the parent type that was originally very critical, and has healed itself. So there's those types where you see that physical embrace that connection, that safety, if that child feels, but sometimes sometimes at the end of a drawing up process session, it's really sweet. What will happen is the child will be like, okay.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: gonna go playing the playground now. And there it is on the playground like hanging from the you know. The person draws it like hanging from the you know the monkey bars, or, you know, jumping, jump rope, or doing something fun and playful. And that's a form of safety, too, because that's that indicates that that child feels safe to be free and joyful and playful Again.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you see. So those are expressions of safety and joy, and safe to even feel joyful and safe to not have to feel that pain anymore. And so that leads me to another point that some of some inner children need.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So we've got. Let me just go back, and this is seen, heard, validated, safe.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: connected. So in safe connection with others also, and then also permission something I was explaining to the woman on the bus who said, how do you heal? And in her child this how do you do this? I've spent years trying to deal these in her children. I've spent all this money, and I've tried all these techniques, and nothing is completely worked, or they feel like these long slogs. How do you do this in 3 h? Sometimes Another thing that I find that needs to happen with some inner children is that they need permission
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to let go
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of that pain or permission to release that behavior or whatever it is that they've been holding onto. And here's why?
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because sometimes they feel like there are a lot of inner children that feel like as long as i'm carrying this pain.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: then it will be a reminder to the person that i'm in, that this happened to you, and you don't want to risk this happening again. So they see it as actually in this interesting way. By carrying this pain, they see themselves as not just protecting themselves from that pain, but also protecting the person.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so in that case it's almost like they see themselves as kind of doing a job. And so that job is, you know, i'm holding on to this pain, and that is therefore protecting this person. But that's why it's okay. That's why it's off of what I, my part of my role, and I sometimes will guide the person to this as well is to give them permission
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to say it's okay. You don't have to feel that way, way, any more. It's okay to let it go. And also, you know, there are other steps that ultimately help that in your child. Understand that they don't have to keep carrying, that they can be free to play, to be joyful, to have fun, to be creative, to connect, to hug, to do all the things that that child really desperately does really want to do but to do safely without getting
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: hurt. So the question is, can you fully heal an inner child? And the answer is yes.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and not only that it can heal really, really quickly.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that with my work with the Drawing Out Process we heal in our children.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I'm going to put it out there faster than anyone I know, honestly, and there are other techniques that can heal in our children pretty quickly.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But you know we can do it in a really really powerful and really, really quick way, without it being this long slog of constantly having to deal with the frustrations and the temper tantrums, and the ones and all that as that little child. So yes, it can. Yes, it can heal.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I would say, faster than you can probably imagine.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: All right, I hope this has been helpful, as always. My name is Emily I'm. With ChangeLight, please, please, if you'd like to experience some of the Drawing Out Process, please go to www ChangeLight dot world. Sign up, take the free course, getting the free community all that good stuff. And not only that I have started a new thing in which I'm. Starting a podcast, soon featuring actual parts of recorded sessions of the Drawing Out Process. So if you would like
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: a free session of the Drawing Out Process, and you're willing to have it recorded, and have me put excerpts of it on my podcast, keeping your You know your last name and all that. Anything, all that kind of stuff confidential. Please do, please sign up on my website at the on the podcast link on the tab. All right. I would love to talk to you, and I'd love for you to experience this magical work that I do for you to feel that yourself, and feel that freedom. Maybe we work with an inner child. Maybe we will.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Something else. I don't know. I never know it's always a big discovery and a fun investigation, and then a blissful transformation. So take care, and I will see you next week.