top of page
  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | The 3 exPower Types: Defenders




00:00:02.040 --> 00:00:08.880

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: hello, and welcome to my show inner work for greater good, where I teach change makers, how to do.


00:00:09.300 --> 00:00:17.340

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Inner work that accelerates their ability to change the world, my name is Emily Eldredge and I am the founder and CEO of.


00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:28.650

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Change light, which is an online community with a course in it, where I teach the work that I do that i've actually learned and created out of my own struggles as a changemaker as someone who.


00:00:28.890 --> 00:00:33.600

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: was driven to make a positive difference in the world, but at the same time, has always struggled with.


00:00:33.870 --> 00:00:42.030

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: blocks and blue you know wounds and blind spots and insecurities and all these other things that would get in the way of me really truly having.


00:00:42.300 --> 00:00:49.920

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The peace of mind, the peace of heart the confidence, the clarity the wisdom and feeling unencumbered you know feeling.


00:00:50.400 --> 00:00:57.630

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: secure enough and courageous enough to truly go for what I know i'm here to do and who I know i'm here to be.


00:00:58.050 --> 00:01:04.680

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's what this show is about i'm actually if you missed the last few episodes I definitely recommend going back and watching them.


00:01:04.890 --> 00:01:11.940

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because right now i'm taking you through a process of my The ChangeLight System which teaches change makers.


00:01:12.180 --> 00:01:22.350

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: How to really achieve that inner wholeness that clarity, so that that wisdom can come through we're going to get into that and, in this episode we're actually going to talk about.


00:01:22.590 --> 00:01:28.860

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: One of the types of things that tends to get in the way, but before I do that, let me just show you here's my.


00:01:29.820 --> 00:01:36.060

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is my website so you can see change light inner work for greater good, of course, the name of the show.


00:01:36.360 --> 00:01:43.200

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it's all about making your life as a change maker, as someone really does want to make a positive difference in the world.


00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:52.260

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is all about making it easier, making it easier, though, from the inside out so that you can truly have that wisdom and clarity guiding you through.


00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:56.040

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Your whatever mission, it is that you know that you're here to serve.


00:01:56.250 --> 00:02:07.260

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: As I mentioned, I also have this online community, and you can see there's the The ChangeLight System course so i've got lots of really good stuff and I created it as a very safe and supportive place.


00:02:07.470 --> 00:02:16.500

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Where change makers can do their inner work for greater good, not it's not a social media like you're not doing it on Facebook, or any of that, but really a place where we can all come together.


00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:22.680

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and connect and feel very safe and supported as we go through this inner work so with that said.


00:02:23.310 --> 00:02:33.180

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: As I mentioned, this is an episode in which i'm going through another part of the change like system in the last episode, I talked about your ex powers.


00:02:33.570 --> 00:02:47.940

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then I also explained that really in terms what we're really going for here is your inner truth your truth here is the treasure that we're after but we've got to deal with some of these other things first we've got to deal with the exPowers.


00:02:48.150 --> 00:02:56.250

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it's also about tapping into and bringing forward your inner empowers and I defined that one of my previous episodes.


00:02:56.580 --> 00:03:09.750

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: As well as noticing recognizing your inner Guiding Star that's inside of you, which is that vision that you carry of who you are and who you're here to be like it's like your optimal self.


00:03:10.170 --> 00:03:21.540

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And that ultimately it's about living your truth and so as we heal those exPowers those inner blocks wounds triggers blind spots all those things that get in the way of us really feeling at peace and whole.


00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:31.500

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And and courageous enough to step forward and achieve what we know where we're here to achieve and be who we know we're here to be that actually as we heal those we gain more clarity.


00:03:31.980 --> 00:03:40.560

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It helps bring forward those empowers and also to see that Guiding Star and then ultimately for that truth to come to come through and, as I see it, is.


00:03:40.830 --> 00:03:47.010

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You have a truth, you were born to live, I have a truth that i'm here to live in it's our job to live it so anyway.


00:03:47.280 --> 00:03:51.750

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's the whole point of my show and of my work is to really help you achieve that truth.


00:03:52.080 --> 00:03:59.460

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So what i'm going to do in this show is i'm going to introduce you in the last episode, I should say this episode and the last episode.


00:03:59.670 --> 00:04:13.290

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I introduced you to the concept of exPowers, explaining that they're basically you know the parts of you that are stuck in chronic states of stress reactivity or pain, so there are parts of our subconscious.


00:04:13.590 --> 00:04:19.770

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That are those unhealed wounds and different wounds and defenses that we carry as a result of.


00:04:20.130 --> 00:04:29.220

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know the traumas we've endured the stresses we've had you know the our family of origin, and what we experienced there ultimately from a lack of safety.


00:04:29.460 --> 00:04:39.660

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: A lack of feeling safe in one way or another, whether it's because of you know disappointments we've been we've we've experienced or because of violations that we've had.


00:04:39.900 --> 00:04:53.010

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And all different kinds of violations or any other things that could be chronic stressors like really just feeling like it's not okay for me to be who, I am in this reality, and so what ends up happening.


00:04:53.610 --> 00:05:06.900

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is that parts of US form that I call exPowers that carry the wounds the pain, the stress the fear the sadness, the anger all of those things from those experiences.


00:05:07.200 --> 00:05:16.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then you have, at the same time you have parts of you that form that are trying to protect you from those happening again so that's ultimately what exPowers part.


00:05:16.950 --> 00:05:25.470

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In this episode, we have there, it turns out, there are actually three types of exPowers, and this is something i've discovered in my own work, it was.


00:05:25.890 --> 00:05:31.950

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: By doing my work and going through my own dark night of the soul and developing a technique that i'm going to share, about a little bit later.


00:05:32.250 --> 00:05:45.210

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That helps that actually heals those inner exPowers is how I was ended up God, I was guided to discover that there are three types of exPower, so this is really exclusive information that i'm excited to share with you.


00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:51.840

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So here are the three types and i'm going to teach you about one of them, but the three types are Defenders.


00:05:52.860 --> 00:06:06.900

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Controllers and wound it's there's so much to learn about all three of these types i'm just going to give you a really quick because, because in this episode i'm going to talk about Defenders.


00:06:08.010 --> 00:06:14.280

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Think i'm not going to go into it, because in the next episodes we're actually going to go through the other two so let's just start with Defenders Defenders.


00:06:14.580 --> 00:06:22.920

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is the first type those are the first type of exPowers that I want to teach you about, and as I share, about these Defenders I want you to notice.


00:06:23.880 --> 00:06:38.670

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know notice, if you have that part you know parts of you there, like a Defenders and everybody does so, I just want to reassure you that if you have this inside of you, you are not alone okay i've had a lot of inner Defenders so.


00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:45.360

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Here we go Defenders we see these little animations on my slides and then I forget that I put them in their.


00:06:46.380 --> 00:06:55.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: tracks like so when it comes to Defenders in this episode i'm going to share with you what they are the basic descriptions of an inner Defenders.


00:06:55.590 --> 00:07:04.830

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What they're trying to do, because one of my whole intentions with my work is to really demystify these parts that we have inside of us.


00:07:05.100 --> 00:07:12.000

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and help teach people that it's okay you don't have to hate these parts of you or think that they're bad they really are trying.


00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:20.160

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to serve a purpose in your life, the results may not be so good that they are trying to actually protect you take care of you in some way or another.


00:07:20.640 --> 00:07:25.680

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then, why should we heal them, and this may seem like an obvious statement well, of course, you want to heal an inner Defenders.


00:07:26.430 --> 00:07:32.520

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But I just want to get into some of the specifics of why and some of its kind of surprising So what are Defenders.


00:07:33.480 --> 00:07:43.500

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So there are essentially three kind of three types of Defenders and the first type is what I would describe is very angry defensive.


00:07:43.860 --> 00:07:58.830

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: rage full vengeful and even violent, so this is like when I work with a client and we're taught, you know and and they have they say i'm just dealing with this incredible rage I just feel this anger inside of me.


00:07:59.250 --> 00:08:07.200

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then we actually go through the process and I I invite that part to come forward and oftentimes that's a part that it may show up as this like.


00:08:07.650 --> 00:08:16.740

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: screaming banshee a lot of times Defenders interestingly enough when people draw them out that's part of the process is actually draw out what's in your subconscious.


00:08:17.160 --> 00:08:26.940

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is it'll show up is like this you're in rage like woman who's like screaming and her hair's on fire and she's running and she's just so angry.


00:08:27.300 --> 00:08:37.410

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And these types of Defenders also love curse words so they're often a lot of F bombs dropped and there's a lot of just just this incredible rage.


00:08:37.950 --> 00:08:45.630

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or it could even be I had a client who, in this case happens to be an inmate i've worked with a lot of inmates.


00:08:45.960 --> 00:08:57.870

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And he has he had one that wasn't necessarily screaming out loud, but he was like he was like see that he was this big muscular bodyguard type who's just see the.


00:08:58.140 --> 00:09:05.010

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: enraged but, like you know just sort of waiting to be provoked, if you will, so that he could be violent in reaction.


00:09:05.310 --> 00:09:11.760

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and, interestingly enough, this Defenders inside my client was the part of him that had formed in childhood.


00:09:12.060 --> 00:09:20.160

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because he had suffered abuse and neglect and violation and so as a result, this Defenders showed up inside of him to protect him.


00:09:20.610 --> 00:09:25.920

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because he ended up on the streets and all kinds of horrible things were happening and so he needed that part of him to protect him.


00:09:26.430 --> 00:09:37.140

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Unfortunately, though, that part of him is also the part that resulted in him committing crimes, so we are talking about inner parts, I just want to remind you, these are things that are going on inside.


00:09:37.530 --> 00:09:49.980

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And sometimes they get expressed externally externally, but sometimes they don't In fact I will I will add here that I have clients who come to me and they're just the sweetest nicest so deferential people, and then we discovered, they have this really.


00:09:50.580 --> 00:09:59.250

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: enraged Defenders inside of them so anyway, the point is this is about what's going on inside each of us i've had a lot of these angry Defenders so.


00:09:59.820 --> 00:10:09.150

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The second type of Defenders is what I would describe as stoic impervious and impenetrable oftentimes.


00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:19.050

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is the type of Defenders that shows up as like a wall So if you feel that you've got these walls inside of you, maybe you've got certain barriers that it's like.


00:10:19.350 --> 00:10:29.820

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: whoa you know you don't let anybody cross beyond that you know if you feel that energetically inside of you and it's not necessarily angry it's just kind of like nope you can't get past this point.


00:10:30.270 --> 00:10:39.360

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That is oftentimes what I would describe as a stoic or impervious or impenetrable Defenders a wall inside of you that's keeping others out.


00:10:39.750 --> 00:10:48.000

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And at the same time protecting what's what's behind it oftentimes another type of exPower, which I will explain in a later episode.


00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:58.230

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So you can have those types that actually you know, by contrast, in contrast with the angry defensive Rachel ones, you can have the ones who are actually quite emotionless they're just very straightforward like.


00:10:58.530 --> 00:11:00.810

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, and they will tell me when I work with them.


00:11:01.320 --> 00:11:12.090

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well, you know, he was hit or he was hurt as a child, you know his his mom was really mean to him, and so I don't let women get close, for example, so that might be this type.


00:11:12.540 --> 00:11:20.820

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then, finally, the third type is what I would describe is Defenders that are very righteous and arrogant and superior and like hottie.


00:11:21.060 --> 00:11:27.810

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And they think they're better than everyone else and better than everything else, and I know that again this sounds like we're describing people on the outside.


00:11:28.110 --> 00:11:35.910

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and often people who act that way they may have that on the inside as well, but basically This might be a Defenders that's trying to.


00:11:36.450 --> 00:11:46.050

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's trying to make you feel elevated above other people, and like you're better than everyone else and to look down on others again it's another way of trying to defend you.


00:11:46.410 --> 00:11:53.790

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Another side note, I actually named these three types of exPowers according to their primary behavior so in this case.


00:11:54.210 --> 00:12:05.010

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The Defenders try to defend us against being hurt, which, of course, leads to the next slide which is oops sorry I skipped one.


00:12:05.790 --> 00:12:17.490

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What our Defenders trying to do so obviously it's no fun having these parts of us that are very enraged or that are sort of have erected wall walls inside of us, or you know that are.


00:12:18.060 --> 00:12:22.440

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, causing us to behave in ways that we're not really done we don't feel proud of.


00:12:23.160 --> 00:12:35.610

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But here's the truth about exPowers, and there is oh my gosh so much to explore with this, but the point is that every exPower is doing its very best to protect us.


00:12:36.030 --> 00:12:47.010

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or itself whatever way it knows so Defenders of the type that are trying to protect us there's another type of exPower that's trying to protect itself and we're going to get into.


00:12:47.280 --> 00:12:57.930

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That in a later episode, but in this case, your Defenders is actively trying to protect you against violation or pain.


00:12:58.260 --> 00:13:12.150

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So, of the three x power types each of them forms in response to certain types of experiences that we've had, and I call those the four DS of the dark and that's something else that I talked about in my work and that i've discovered.


00:13:12.870 --> 00:13:19.770

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But in this case Defenders are all about they want to protect you against violation or pain, why do they want to do that.


00:13:20.010 --> 00:13:29.460

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because they've seen you violated they've seen you in pain and they're like ah, we are not letting that happen again, I don't want that to happen.


00:13:29.670 --> 00:13:40.020

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, as I described with that inmate who was you know who's had this really enraged bodyguard type inside of him who just kept everybody out and and feeling intimidated.


00:13:40.860 --> 00:13:46.140

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, and it was it was literally like his bodyguard was almost like a physical but very angry well.


00:13:46.440 --> 00:13:55.770

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, protecting this man is that he'd been violated, he had suffered terrible pain in his childhood, and so this was a part of him that was like ah, we are not doing that anymore.


00:13:56.430 --> 00:14:09.600

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that's one of the big things that Defenders to do Defenders also they're standing up for you and setting your boundaries for you, so a lot of times when we have certain experiences in childhood, you know as children.


00:14:10.140 --> 00:14:23.340

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We are defenseless in a lot of ways, you know we're very vulnerable we're very much at the mercy of the people around us, who you know are are probably saying things that are hurtful or doing things that are hurtful.


00:14:23.550 --> 00:14:28.380

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or in any way or shape or form, making a somehow feel unsafe.


00:14:28.890 --> 00:14:37.830

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And, and there are times when as children, you know, maybe if if we had been able to, we would have set our boundaries or maybe we tried to set our boundaries, but we couldn't.


00:14:38.100 --> 00:14:44.610

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Or it was we were violated further what have you, the point is Defenders are the ones that have a sense.


00:14:44.910 --> 00:14:52.260

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of our boundaries and the boundaries, as I described it as sort of like where I am and someone else begins.


00:14:52.560 --> 00:14:58.950

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so Defenders are that part of us that knows and census, even when we're not conscious of it, this is what I think is so cool.


00:14:59.310 --> 00:15:06.300

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is that even when we're not conscious that a violation that, as has taken place, that a boundary has been violated.


00:15:06.690 --> 00:15:12.090

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: oftentimes a part of us will know and will recognize and so, even if, as a child.


00:15:12.300 --> 00:15:22.800

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We were being violated in some way a lot of times, you know as children we just had to adapt we just had to go along with whatever was just to survive in one shape or another.


00:15:23.100 --> 00:15:29.850

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But still, in all that there might be a part of you that turned into a Defenders that was like you know what that was not okay.


00:15:30.540 --> 00:15:39.570

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And if tryst it then tries to set your boundaries for you, it wants you to set your boundaries, but since it recognizes that you're not able to do it or you're not doing it for yourself.


00:15:39.900 --> 00:15:45.510

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It will try to do it for you so that's one of the things that Defenders do and i'm just going to say, one of the things.


00:15:45.870 --> 00:15:56.340

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Like I had a Defenders show up once where it was really enraged was really angry, and so I took it through my Drawing Out Process and I throw it out and I worked with it and it turns out.


00:15:56.700 --> 00:16:07.410

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That it was it started saying all these things about this particular woman in my life, who I thought I have a pretty good relationship with her and it's peaceful and it's amenable and it's fine.


00:16:07.830 --> 00:16:11.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And yet this part of me this Defenders inside of me was like oh.


00:16:11.580 --> 00:16:24.120

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is what she's doing and you're not paying enough attention to it you're just letting it slide by but the reality is it's not okay so again, that was a Defenders that was trying to stand up for me and set my boundaries and actually get me to do it.


00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:34.830

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: For myself, so finally block feelings of weakness or vulnerability Defenders are trying to protect us basically from those.


00:16:35.220 --> 00:16:44.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Those feelings of sadness vulnerability inferiority weakness anything that doesn't feel strong or empowering.


00:16:44.280 --> 00:16:52.920

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: A Defenders will often try to is ultimately trying to block those feelings, or at least give us a feeling to try to overcome that.


00:16:53.130 --> 00:17:02.670

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So this a lot of times has to do with like the the type of Defenders that's all about superior you know feeling righteous and superior and wanting to feel better than everyone else.


00:17:02.940 --> 00:17:11.580

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well, think about people like that, and again I know we're talking about what's going on in the inside, but you know when you see someone like that who's acting a hottie like they're better than everyone else.


00:17:11.970 --> 00:17:17.100

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Think about it, are they acting that way, or would they have that part of them that's causing them to act that way.


00:17:17.370 --> 00:17:27.360

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: If they truly felt secure in themselves if they truly felt whole and at peace with themselves would they feel the need to put other people down.


00:17:28.080 --> 00:17:38.790

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that's a lot of times what Defenders are trying to do they don't want us to feel weak or vulnerable, probably because they've seen that, when we feel weak and vulnerable we get hurt.


00:17:39.060 --> 00:17:55.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or people take advantage of us so again that's what Defenders and other certain Defenders that are trying to specifically trying to keep us from feeling that way Defenders love to make us feel strong and powerful and protected and.


00:17:55.950 --> 00:18:04.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, like we can stand up for ourselves that is ultimately what Defenders are trying to do, and to again protect us from getting hurt.


00:18:04.440 --> 00:18:19.800

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Like we may have been hurt in the past or protect us from feeling bad feelings that you know they don't want us to feel because they're afraid of what could happen or because they want us to really believe in ourselves and really feel good about ourselves.


00:18:21.150 --> 00:18:36.870

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So why heal your inner Defenders and really when I asked this question it's actually by it's actually a way of saying well here's what Defenders tend to do like, here are some of the problems with having a lot of Defenders inside.


00:18:37.320 --> 00:18:45.750

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and actually i'm going to share with you one story that's coming to mind, but I want to insert here is to say that when I work with my clients, for example, we never heal.


00:18:46.650 --> 00:18:58.560

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Any part that is still did that person still needs the only exPowers that that I that I work with within people are the parts that they're struggling with, and the reason why I say that.


00:18:58.980 --> 00:19:03.360

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is because I once was, in a prison spent a bit of time in prisons, but.


00:19:03.930 --> 00:19:12.180

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I was working with some inmates in a prison, and I put up this image of the Defenders on the screen and I was talking about well here's the issue with Defenders.


00:19:12.450 --> 00:19:21.240

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And, and he goes put put I like that guy she was he was great he just goes put put I like that guy he's pointing to the picture, but I like I like to defend our like that part of me.


00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:35.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And you know, and I said well Okay, then great you know that we don't need to heal that part of you let's not do that we're only talking about parts that you're struggling with that are causing problems for you and I said, the reality is.


00:19:35.550 --> 00:19:46.860

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you're in prison, I mean you're in a physically and emotionally generally physically and emotionally unsafe place so of course you need those parts of you.


00:19:47.190 --> 00:19:54.300

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And and actually just a funny little anecdote I afterwards and the man whose organization he had invited me to come speak.


00:19:54.600 --> 00:19:59.730

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: He actually kind of told me later he giggles that they all kind of giggled when when this guy said I like that guy.


00:20:00.540 --> 00:20:08.280

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because they said that the the image that I had on the screen there like that's basically him and he was wearing a big sweatshirt so I couldn't tell.


00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:23.280

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That that's what it looks like, but the point is, they were saying actually he looks like a Defenders too so anyway side note just little anecdotes from my you know interesting experiences in prison or I should say, working with people in prison so long story shorter.


00:20:24.600 --> 00:20:31.050

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So why should you heal your inner Defenders well because they make you emotionally reactive.


00:20:31.530 --> 00:20:39.030

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Mind you, all exPowers, make us emotionally reactive Okay, they all cause us to react to situations.


00:20:39.300 --> 00:20:47.850

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Rather than respond and now, when I say respond to me like responding with clarity responding with wisdom responding with peace when we're reactive.


00:20:48.120 --> 00:20:57.420

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Then it's like something takes us over and we're not the ones in control then they're actually those exPowers of the ones in control and one of my big you know.


00:20:57.780 --> 00:21:03.330

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Like agendas, with my clients are you know my big mission is to help people achieve self mastery.


00:21:03.600 --> 00:21:16.290

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And if we thought these exPowers who react, who are reacting for us then we're not the ones in charge, and so it's really important to heal those inner Defenders, and also because, quite frankly, Defenders I mean I talked about that other.


00:21:16.590 --> 00:21:27.900

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In May, who had that seating bodyguard inside of him well his Defenders was the part of him that had caused him to commit all these crimes and he said so he's like this is the part of me.


00:21:28.170 --> 00:21:38.400

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That it caused me to be in prison in and out of prison for 35 years now, I know a lot of us on this call haven't been in prison before and maybe we don't have these violent tendencies.


00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:45.990

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But the point is, you know that's an extreme example of what Defenders can cause us to do is that can cause us to be reactive against situations.


00:21:46.410 --> 00:21:56.160

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And therefore not really seeing things as clearly you know, in other words, reacting in a situation when it really doesn't call for that kind of reaction when really we're not under threat.


00:21:56.520 --> 00:22:03.390

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it's okay to kind of relax and trust so also they make you feel unsafe in your own skin.


00:22:03.990 --> 00:22:08.280

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know i've had Defenders that have you know carried so much rage.


00:22:08.670 --> 00:22:17.790

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That it was like oh God it was so overwhelming, and then it causes so it caused me to feel enraged which was really uncomfortable, but it also caused me to have reactions.


00:22:18.030 --> 00:22:24.390

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, then I ended up reacting in certain ways that I didn't like and so i've tried to you know sort of control that Defenders.


00:22:24.690 --> 00:22:31.830

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But the point, because the point is I ended up not trusting myself and not trusting myself to respond appropriately in in certain situations.


00:22:32.130 --> 00:22:41.010

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because I kept having that reactive part of me, so I felt unsafe unsettled in my own skin and that's The other thing about exPowers to is that they fragment us.


00:22:41.430 --> 00:22:57.420

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, we have, we have a Defenders like the inner fragments that we feel if you feel fragmented, those are those exPowers that have formed, as a result of your experiences and they cause us to feel unsettled fragmented disjointed not whole not as one not at peace.


00:22:58.440 --> 00:23:06.330

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Also, they cause you to deny your own feelings and others, remember, I talked about how there are certain kinds of Defenders.


00:23:06.630 --> 00:23:11.100

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Who were all about denying the fact that we feel weak or scared or vulnerable.


00:23:11.400 --> 00:23:21.390

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When, in reality, if we could actually just honor those feelings that might be a great source of peace for us, or it might bring forward some great wisdom, for us, and so the thing is that.


00:23:21.960 --> 00:23:29.610

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: If we're denying our own feelings then we're actually we're perpetuating that disjointed this perpetuating that lack of peace inside.


00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:35.670

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When actually when we turn towards those feelings and this is a lot of what my work is about is the turn towards the feelings.


00:23:35.910 --> 00:23:44.370

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And discovering that actually what you're seeking may be whatever wisdom you're seeking clarity of wholeness may actually be through honoring.


00:23:44.730 --> 00:23:53.700

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Those feelings and those exPowers inside of you, and then in terms of denying others feelings being dismissive you know sort of telling somebody stop crying.


00:23:54.360 --> 00:24:06.510

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Or you know, causing others to not feel safe around you because you know you're you're trying not to feel your stuff because you've got Defenders inside of you who are trying to protect you from those feelings can cause us to behave that way with others.


00:24:07.050 --> 00:24:16.260

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then they are like the inner walls that prevent us from connecting with others and that's another thing too, you know i've had so many clients who say i've.


00:24:16.530 --> 00:24:23.160

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know i've really struggled to you know, be in a healthy relationship, but I find that as soon as I start to get involved.


00:24:23.970 --> 00:24:36.330

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I get really I get very like I sort of put up a wall and it's like even if i'm in love with this person, and even if I think intellectually and know intellectually that I can feel safe with this person.


00:24:36.600 --> 00:24:44.820

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I still can feel that there is a wall that they can't get past well that wall exists for a reason, as we quickly discover.


00:24:45.150 --> 00:24:51.510

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because at some point or another, they were hurt they were violated they felt unsafe, you know that.


00:24:51.810 --> 00:25:00.030

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: any number of things could have happened that caused that person to be like you know what I don't feel safe with other people, or I don't feel safe with these types of people.


00:25:00.570 --> 00:25:10.020

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or even if it's not even like romantic relationships which, of course, are very triggering and really call us to open up and that can be very scary you know, even if it's friendships or something.


00:25:10.230 --> 00:25:20.910

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We can actually we can create these unconscious subconscious walls inside of us can can exist that really prevent us from connecting in a really safe.


00:25:21.180 --> 00:25:27.270

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Trusting and healthy way and again there's no shame there's no criticism in this it's just because.


00:25:27.930 --> 00:25:32.790

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Some part of you feels really unsafe or that wall feels like it's protecting a part of you.


00:25:33.060 --> 00:25:38.250

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That feels really that part of you that feels really unsafe and so that Defenders is just doing its job.


00:25:38.520 --> 00:25:45.570

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But again, why should we heal them because the problem is it ends up Disconnecting us from others it ends up separating us.


00:25:45.840 --> 00:25:52.650

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it can increase feelings of loneliness for again, for example, which a lot of people feel because we've got that Defenders that's doing.


00:25:53.010 --> 00:26:06.840

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: An amazing job at protecting us from allowing others to hurt us, but what but, in the midst of it's protecting us from us getting hurt, it also prevents us from connection.


00:26:07.650 --> 00:26:14.370

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And ultimately, the deepest deepest desire that I found with everyone is connection.


00:26:14.760 --> 00:26:20.430

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in some form or another, and one of my whole things with my work is first and foremost, you got to connect with yourself.


00:26:20.820 --> 00:26:30.810

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because it's when you feel connected and whole and at peace inside when you fully embrace all parts of you and heal those parts that are carrying those old wounds.


00:26:31.170 --> 00:26:40.140

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's when you can be more present with others that's when you can really show up and not be as triggered if you know what.


00:26:40.590 --> 00:26:45.990

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The person doesn't show up for you in the same way that's the reality not everybody's going to act, the way we want them to act.


00:26:46.290 --> 00:26:52.260

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Not everybody is going to show up the way we want them to show up, not everyone is going to treat us the way we want to be treated.


00:26:52.500 --> 00:27:00.450

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so what that's the why there's a lot of freedom in doing this work, because you end up healing those parts that get triggered or used to get triggered.


00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:07.980

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: by those situations when people weren't you know meeting our needs instead we're actually meeting our own needs from the inside out it's really quite beautiful.


00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:22.440

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Finally, they hold immense untapped inner power later on i'm going to get into the three types of empowers because I mentioned empowers before, when you saw that diagram and we'll look at it quickly again.


00:27:23.100 --> 00:27:43.800

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But the three types of empowers are actually the extra hours or just distorted parts of our emPower so as we heal inner Defenders we actually reach connect with and recapture that incredible power that they are in always were within us more fun stuff to discover with that.


00:27:44.940 --> 00:27:56.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So I keep talking about healing, how do you heal it, this is how I heal them I do a process that I created called the Drawing Out Process it directly accesses those exPowers inside of you.


00:27:56.400 --> 00:28:07.710

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And transforms them out of struggle back into your strength back into your true powers that you always had before before they got distorted by your life experiences.


00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:13.890

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it's all about then healing those parts, so that they can show that you feel more whole.


00:28:14.220 --> 00:28:21.960

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And empowered to live your truth and to change the world and whatever ways call to you, so the way I do that with people is by.


00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:27.600

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Drawing out their ex powers so that they can more quickly and painlessly.


00:28:27.840 --> 00:28:38.040

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: heal them it's it's quite a cool process because it's like it bypasses that analytical left brain we go straight to what's going on straight to the root of the struggles, so that we can heal them.


00:28:38.310 --> 00:28:44.280

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And and heal those triggers heal those blocks heal those wounds heal those defenses all those things that really.


00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:52.320

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: are so troublesome in life, you know that make it hard for us to really show up in our fullness in our full beauty and our full power.


00:28:53.100 --> 00:29:01.710

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So back to this diagram we've got your ex powers which i've been talking about and, as I said, your ex powers are just distorted parts of your empowers.


00:29:02.040 --> 00:29:07.620

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Your Guiding Star is that vision that you carry inside of who you are here to be of your optimal self.


00:29:07.890 --> 00:29:14.100

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And ultimately, we are all about your truth that's the whole point that it's about revealing the truth.


00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:20.790

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That is already inside of you so that's my intention with sharing this information about Defenders.


00:29:21.120 --> 00:29:31.440

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and saying okay here's a type of struggle that you may have inside of you again, we all have this stuff but just to demystify that you go oh OK, I see.


00:29:31.680 --> 00:29:34.800

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And to really have learned to have compassion for these parts of you.


00:29:35.100 --> 00:29:45.570

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because it really is they've been through what you've been through and they've they've reacted to experiences that you've had and really they're just doing their best, as I said, to protect you or or.


00:29:46.260 --> 00:29:58.560

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or another part of you, whatever way they know so with That said, I just want to make sure you know, I mentioned the course I mentioned the Community and i've got this lunch special I literally just.


00:29:59.160 --> 00:30:04.920

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: launched it and so for a limited time I would love to have you join us in the Community it's hundred dollars off.


00:30:05.400 --> 00:30:26.850

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: just go to Community change light dot world and join us it's all about having a safe supportive space where you can do this inner work to accelerate your ability to change the world in whatever wonderful ways call to you, so thank you so much, and I.


00:30:27.690 --> 00:30:34.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And i'm so happy to have had you and sorry about that I got distracted by something Thank you so much i'm so happy to have you had you.


00:30:34.440 --> 00:30:46.050

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I hope this has been helpful for you, and so this was Defenders but next we're going to get into the other two types Controllers and Wounded so lots to discover there and I look forward to seeing you again


bottom of page