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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | The Inner Child's Confusion Pain





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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello! Hello! Hello! And as always, welcome to Inner Work for Greater Good. My name is Emily Eldredge. I am your host. I am the founder of ChangeLight, the creator of the ChangeLight System which heals your inner struggle, feels your inner-strex mix strength, and accelerates your power to feel good and do good ultimately to change the world in whatever ways you feel called to do. I was thinking actually, before rise. I was about to start up,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: like you know it's inner work for brain or good. But my brain switched it and said, Greater work for inner good, and that it's true that we really are talking about doing this incredible inner work so that you can feel greater if you feel in doing greater work on yourself. So you can feel this inner good, because, as I often have always believed, and other people have said it more succinctly than I have. But when you feel good,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: do good, so that's what this is really about is accelerating your ability to make a difference, whatever difference you feel called to make, but from a place of feeling, good and feeling whole and peace with yourself, because that's when you're really going to show up the best, the fullest, the most impactful in your life in other people's lives, too, and in every aspect of your life for the world.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Um, today we're doing something a little bit different. I'm going to, You know a lot of times I've sort of talked about


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: kind of issues that we may run into in our lives or things I've been thinking about. Well, one thing that came to mind is, I want to talk about the inner child, but I want to talk about certain aspects of the inner child. Now


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I think I've said this before on a previous episode


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to talk about the inner child as though it's one thing is actually incorrect, and I understand why it sort of evolved to talk about the inner child as opposed to the plural, which is correct, that we have multiple inner children inside of this. I understand that talking about the inner child is helpful. Um, at least in terms of our consciousness to recognize. Um that we have this. You know. We have a child


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: part inside of us, and that we have this child's voice or this child's innocence, and and also to talk about the rooms of the inner child that we all carry well. The truth of the matter is that


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: actually, we have multiple in our children, and i'm pretty sure I've said this before. It's not just one inner child we're talking about. We actually have multiple. I, personally, have drawn out


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: probably hundreds of in our children, and my clients have drawn out multiple in our children, and it's not the same in our child. We always check that it's like. Is this the same one as before. No, it's not. It's what my client will tell me, and I can feel that, too. There's a difference between if i'm drawing out this one child and I'm processing its feelings and appealing its words, or whatever is going on there versus like another child that I might work on later on. And I realized, No, this is different. This is a different part of me


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: was a different wound that it's carrying. There's a different moment in time, for when it was carrying that wound, so we have more than one in our child. So I just want to make that very clear. And


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but that being said, you know i'm calling this episode, I think


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the inner child of like the the confusion pain of the inner child. Um, but it's really about in our children, because and let me explain about this aspect. The reason why I so on this is because I think this is something that is sorely missing from a lot of conversations about the inner child we talk about, and maybe in a child being scared. Maybe it's throwing a temperature,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know. Maybe it's really sad, or maybe it's more like it's joyful, and it's happy, and it's in a good place. And so we can have different child like,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know, child, I guess aspects of us um that have that show up in different ways, or that have different sort of energies or emotions to them. And a lot of times, you know it's like. For example, when I often, when i'm working with someone's


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: an inner child would say, which shows up in a Drawing Out Process session, which, if it's hurt in some way, or in some kind of pain or some kind of fear. I call that an inner Wounded.


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So if i'm working with that inner Wounded,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and oftentimes that childlike part that's carrying that room without her, that pain, or whatever you know, Usually it can be because of a violation, because they were actually physically hurt because their child, their homes were not safe


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because of something a teacher said to them, and usually that or a child could say like that really hurt my feelings, or or be carrying that intense violation


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: person was sexually abused, or in some way physically violated; and so that inner child, a child, and sign of one is carrying the pain of that abuse.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But there's another kind of pain that I want you to acknowledge here that I think is really really No,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I've had this pain inside of me, and my clients have had this pain inside of them, and I want to acknowledge it as a pain, because it is a kind of pain,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: experience, and that is experienced by a child or one of these inner children, or experienced by children. Really, when they have these types of experiences that it's a kind of pain.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And i'm calling it the pain of confusion.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Here's how it typically shows up.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I'll tell you actually the first time that it showed up for me. Um! I was just in the last few years, actually that I was really aware of it being


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the specific pain I was experiencing was confusion. It wasn't so much sadness or hurt. It was more just confusion. I don't understand


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I was processing and healing some worms from childhood that had been triggered by a current rules a few years ago would have been triggered by a situation in my life at the time, and what was coming up was the realization that there was


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these Williams from childhood


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were being triggered by the situation, and that I needed to heal those words in order for me to be not as triggered or effective.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Affected by what was going on,


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it came up,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and she was just simply sank.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I don't understand.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I I don't know. I don't understand. I mean it was like she just get I don't. I don't. I don't understand. She just kept saying that I don't understand, and I think when I drew her I I I haven't tried to find the drawing, but I think when I drew her. I her even like question marks about.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I don't understand I


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: why, why and what it was was it was, Why are they treating me this way you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why are they treating me this way? I didn't print one.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why are they hurting me?


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And really the primary pain again was not like the pain of the the hurt that they were causing. It was the


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I don't understand. And so it was such an interesting moment for me personally, because to realize that just the confusion alone


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: was a source of wound.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: inner conflict and struggle that I've been carrying,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and then a long of us do carry. I'm going to break this down from you. Actually, it's funny, because, as i'm talking about this, I realized that I also ran into a similar inner child inside of an inmate a number of years ago,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and in that he had been


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: shamed around his sexuality, the


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and and there was a lot of hypocrisy with his parents, because they were very strict. Religious people, who, you know, absolutely said, can't talk about sex or sexuality, or any of these things. And yet he found his own father Um, actually reading a porn magazine. And so it created this huge confusion, and inside of him, and like remembering this, there's a number of years ago I was working with the scams that they made somebody who was actually in prison for having


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: believe. I don't know for sure, because they don't usually tell me exactly what they did. Um, but and they don't actually even tell each other a lot of times. But I think he had probably sexual, especially violated some children. Um, or at least one child. So the point is that he drew this child inside this box with questions, question marks. He was so confused because here his parents had said, Don't ever do this? It's a shameful. This is awful, and get me caught. His own father doing that same.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So this this sweet, innocent kid inside, you know a kid that he was, can carry that confusion,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: pain of that confusion all those years. And so for me it had to do. I don't understand why they're treating me this way.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That that was the conflict, the inner conflict That was the struggle that was the source of pain for me, and I want to bring this up because you might have this as well. Whether you're aware of it right now or not.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Part of what creates an inner struggle inside of a sport perpetuates it


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is that,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and I've broken it down into like three types of confusion, if you will, and I will say that. And this is like patterns that I've seen within in our children with whom I've worked. So the first is. I've mentioned here in my experience, and i'm an experience with the inmate


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: familiar, so i'm sort of breaking it down in terms of here sort of the people closest to you, and then kind of going out with


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so familiar. The confusion of, for example, one of the most common is when a parent


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: violates in some way or another that child


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when a parent, so it can be a horrible kind of violation, like sexual violation, physical violation, a violation of boundaries. But basically when a parent behaves in a way


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that is non-parent life, and what I mean by that is and this is what I kind of theorize and sort of my hypothesis about this is that as children, whether we're consciously aware of it or not,


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instinctively, no


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: instinctively know


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: how a parent should treat us


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: if you've got a parent, whether it's a father, figure, or mother figure


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: there's this instinctive expectation of a child


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that I think we just all have that it's like her mother should be nurture, and her father should be caring. No parents should be protective. They should look after the child. That's their jar. So that's just one example like protectiveness caring, nurturing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That that is like this is again my own hypothesis about it. It's like that's an instinctive knowing that a child has, or most children have.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So when a parent violates that,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so, for example, and this happens,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is when you have let's, say, one parent who was somehow abusive towards the children or the child, and the other parent didn't text them, but allowed it to happen, or it looks the other way, or whatever the case was, is, there can be this massive confusion, offense,


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with painful confusion


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: inside that child that forms inside that child, and then often sticks there until it stays there through into adulthood,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know. Let's say the father was of you. But why didn't mommy protect you?


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I don't understand,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or you know mommy was yelling at me, but daddy didn't do anything. Why Why, didn't Daddy protect me? Um! And so there's this confusion the way I see it is, there's this more like dissonance, and this awareness of that disconnect within the


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: feeling of disconnect within a child between. But this is what a parent is supposed to do.


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This is how they're supposed to treat me or take care of me


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during the suburb of thing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So what can end up happening is. Sometimes you'll have a child who or somebody who grows up as an adult into. I don't trust adults around those parents, but you could also even so, and this may actually be important. I haven't really said this.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This may be at the core of a lot of times what we run into with the


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: adult children who, basically like. They have this still trying to redeem the parent. We're still protecting that abusive.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And again, I would have to like, do sort of more a study on this to really be inclusive. But my guess is that a lot of times that results from that that confused in a child who just can't seem to rectify,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and in him


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: rectify, or whatever the word is, you know, make sense of the fact that the


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: this is what my parent is supposed to do.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But this is actually what we did


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: didn't,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so he or or here's what a parent is not supposed to do. But here's what they actually did. There's that dissonance.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So what you end up with is that inner confusion? So


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm talking mostly about familiar. And another example would be um another client, a lot of clients like this, but another client, who the father was physically abusive to to my client, and but it would come at very unexpected times.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know she'd be coming home from something, and she'd be feeling really wonderful, And all of a sudden the father would rage her and and attack her and beat her. And she had this


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: confusion about that. What did it? And she drew this out not too long ago. I Don't. I don't understand what I did,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so that what had lasted beyond that moment of having been physically and verbally attacked was really the pain of that confusion that just didn't make sense


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to her as a child. Because if you think about it too, we also instinctively, I think most of us have a sense of justice and injustice. And so my child can probably go. Well, yeah, I did something wrong. So I understand I got there. There were consequences for that,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know. I think most children could rectify that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Make sense of that and go. Okay, I do something wrong. And so you know, that's why i'm not getting. You know the lollipop is promised, whatever you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But when there is a lack of


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: sense making, and there's a lack of there being like a well, this, and then therefore this that creates that aim of that,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and especially when it comes to the hands of it.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Not that can be really, really, of course, distressing and unsafe making, so that the child feels unsafe.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So those are examples just a few examples of familiar confusion. Pain, if you,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: an inner child.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There's beyond that what I would call it the Communal earth, the Societal. And so that often happens when child grows up in an environment where, because of the


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: sort of norms or strictures, or rules, or you know, injustices, or whatever is going on within that community, or that society,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that that person, that child suffered those wounds, or that treatment


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that was so deeply confusing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why are they treating me that way? What did I do wrong?


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Um, I don't understand again those question marks around the head


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: a lot of times, and I've run into this with my clients with some of my clients. A lot of it has to do with things like racism.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So I had a number of clients where we brought out the wound


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of racism inside of them when they were treated differently, simply because of the core of their skin. The


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so an example was when a client's teacher treated him differently


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and singled him out Um! Because just because of the color of the skin made him feel unsafe in that environment made him feel shamed, made him feel treated differently and treated worse than. And so that's an example of a more of a communal or societal.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There's another one that can be in terms of men and women. When we're treated differently as women. We can see it. And again with your child. You may not be consciously aware of it as a child, or you may be, But the point is, there's still that awareness when you know the child knows, and as adults, you know, grow into adulthood. You know we


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: from all kinds of protective mechanisms, you know, and even like cognitively,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I guess, protective mechanisms to protect us from the reality of what we're experiencing. Just so that you know we can get along and not get too enraged and risk, you know um, and risk breaking the bombs that we've made. I mean, there are all kinds of psychological reasons why we try to internally normalize the


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that we're seeing and experiencing. There are people who could probably talk a lot better about that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But i'm sure you've experienced this, too, where you realized that you allowed yourself to be gasol, or you allowed yourself to put up with certain behaviors or mistreatments, or unequal treatment


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because of, you know, maybe because you're a woman that's a big one, right for us, but also for you know, for skin color, for class.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You are born into a certain class. Well, you know, classism is a big form of discrimination as well. And so, if you, as a child, experienced that classes, and maybe you were from a lesser class. Um, you know. Maybe you were middle class, if you will, that you spend a lot of time around wealthy people whatever, and you may have experienced some of that classes that can also create


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that dissonant, confused confusion came inside. You


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: probably may have created that when you were a child, that injustice, that sense of


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know. Why am I being treated differently? It's not something that's my fault, that confusion. And again. I think that comes from the instinctive knowing of a child that we're all the same right, or we should all be treated equally. I mean, you look at kids in the playground for the most part, and you know,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: up until certain ages of my understanding, you know, most kids are. They don't see color sequences in skin color. They don't necessarily care whether one kid is rich or not. They just they're just kids, you know. Little kids really don't start to notice that from my understanding i'm not an expert. I'm so,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but they don't start to notice that until they get older. And so but the but The reality is, the society of the community can project, and it's impose its stuff on to those things.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the kids can notice that, and then have this confusion around. But why does this happen? I don't understand. So that's another what I would call that communal, that societal,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know, being treated differently, experiencing that pain, or even seeing we know a friend, we were different.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Um, Because of that I I like what's coming to my mind is is another example, and that is that um someone very close to me, who is a very dark-skinned black woman. Um, and in her eighties she experienced racism firsthand when she was a little kid, and she was experienced a lot throughout her life. But even when she was a little kid


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and um, it was found out that she and her black siblings were playing with these white neighbor kits, and they were all. They all had a great time. They were such good friends. They would hang out together, they would skip stones. They had a wonderful time, but the the town


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: people in the town that they were in in Texas found out that these black and white kids were mixing, that they were playing together. Now they didn't see the difference.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But the point is that society imposed It's racist and exclusionary prejudicial. Whatever words you want to use onto these innocent children who are just enjoying themselves together, and not even


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: about any of that stuff, because they just liked being together. That's all that mattered to them


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what. And when I talked to this woman, the black, my black friend in her eightys,


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: she teared up. I mean, from all that upstairs she's like six or something when this happened. Oh, I should explain that actually they found out these, if they weren't allowed to play with those kids anymore. I don't think I would say everyone really spent time with them ever again. Maybe we just saw them from the distance. But the point is, they were separated


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: even in her eighty. She was carrying this deep sadness about that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that was some real pain.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's, stayed with her for decades, and is still probably


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for decades and decades of decades


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that time when she was separated from her dear friends for reasons that her


00:21:42.550 --> 00:21:46.230

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: nothing to do with them, and entirely because of,


00:21:46.730 --> 00:21:51.489

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and justices like the society in which they were, these sweet kids were living at the time.


00:21:51.500 --> 00:21:52.620

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That's a confusion


00:21:53.190 --> 00:22:00.960

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that she's caring, and I would also argue that I wouldn't be surprised if the white kids were carrying that as well. The ones who were playing with the


00:22:02.290 --> 00:22:18.149

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I don't understand. Why can't I play with my friends? They're my friends, so it can happen in both on both sides. It can happen in both the children who are being discriminated against, and the other children who are being having to suffer also the consequences of that discrimination.


00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:21.909

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So there you go. Finally, I want to. I want to.


00:22:22.140 --> 00:22:39.540

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I would say, there's an even bigger one, right? So we have a female, which is really what's close to home when someone from the family, when there's some kind of violation or something. There's that confusion that comes up from having seen or experienced something that's just so contrary to like the innocence of that child.


00:22:39.550 --> 00:22:48.329

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then the communal and societal, which we certainly has more to do is sort of the surrounding community, or the specific


00:22:48.390 --> 00:22:52.159

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: society in which that child grows up, and what they're doing,


00:22:52.610 --> 00:22:55.120

experience themselves that kind of


00:22:56.330 --> 00:22:58.039

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: two, I would say to the


00:22:58.340 --> 00:23:00.609

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it isn't of humanity.


00:23:01.180 --> 00:23:16.550

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And here's the Here's here's the example i'm going to use for this one. Now, this didn't have to do with my own inner child, because the experience didn't happen to me as a child, and so it wasn't like I was carrying a child that was burned from that experience. But


00:23:17.700 --> 00:23:22.090

for me I realized a few years ago, just a few years ago,


00:23:22.700 --> 00:23:24.270

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: two thousand and eighteen.


00:23:25.780 --> 00:23:34.989

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I had it. So I was in nine over eleven. I was a first responder. I was there for the first two weeks. I was very involved in the effort. I was a spontaneous volunteer first responder


00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:37.890

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and um help that, with the efforts to like


00:23:37.910 --> 00:23:40.370

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in those two weeks, and then for the next year and a half,


00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:50.629

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and I carried certain wounds, maybe some unexpected pain, or one's, you know, I would say they probably weren't, but this was one that really threw me.


00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:56.490

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Finally came up seventeen years after the events of two thousand and eighteen


00:23:57.830 --> 00:23:59.099

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that there


00:23:59.270 --> 00:24:07.089

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: pain that I was carrying. It's funny, because i'm going to call it pain, because it's almost like pain. But it was also the confusion. It was also just the


00:24:07.650 --> 00:24:11.950

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it, just because it was just so.


00:24:12.900 --> 00:24:15.490

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It was this pain


00:24:15.580 --> 00:24:18.709

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in confusion of


00:24:22.150 --> 00:24:23.260

it. Ins


00:24:23.850 --> 00:24:25.100

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: each other.


00:24:25.620 --> 00:24:28.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Now, mind you,


00:24:28.930 --> 00:24:33.800

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: here I was. I was in my twentys when nine over eleven happened, and when I was involved


00:24:34.010 --> 00:24:36.129

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: course up until my twentys like the


00:24:37.070 --> 00:24:53.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of course i'd seen horrors before i'd seen violence before i'd seen human beings hurt each other in horrible ways, for you know we've all seen this right on the news, or perhaps in our own lives.


00:24:53.250 --> 00:25:00.870

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This may have been one of the first times in my life where I really start right in front of me, in such stark form


00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:09.049

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that came up seventeen years after the event itself. Was this:


00:25:09.120 --> 00:25:10.130

It's all right.


00:25:11.690 --> 00:25:14.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Do this to each other.


00:25:14.820 --> 00:25:16.840

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so it was. This like


00:25:17.600 --> 00:25:18.670



00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:34.340

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is crazy. And again it's so funny because I say this and i'm like Well, of course it was great. You know the other people were gonna look at it. Well, of course it was crazy. I only why did it take for seventeen years? It's not. It's not that I didn't see how horrible it was at the time,


00:25:34.460 --> 00:25:39.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but it was more from this, like primal place as a human being.


00:25:42.260 --> 00:25:54.299

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Wow! Because I think of until then, as I think, a lot of us. Are. We become kind of a mirror, or like? Well, that's just the way things that that's the way things are. But just like you see it so much that


00:25:54.520 --> 00:25:58.489

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to self-protect you just kind of go. Okay, that exists.


00:25:58.540 --> 00:26:03.859

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But what I realized was that, having been immersed in the horrors will resolve a horrific results


00:26:04.760 --> 00:26:08.200

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that that actually was one of the deepest core.


00:26:08.560 --> 00:26:10.079

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Ah! Wound


00:26:10.130 --> 00:26:12.330

confusion of them! Just


00:26:12.750 --> 00:26:20.399

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: baffle that I carry from nine over eleven. I'll give you another example of like a humanity, confusion, pain.


00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:29.610

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There are so many people I know, and a lot of times they'd be people who probably call themselves by workers, you know, or maybe they have some kind of intuitive


00:26:30.140 --> 00:26:36.100

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or psychic, or whatever or their energy healers, or whatever she's usually very energetically sensitive people


00:26:36.150 --> 00:26:38.479

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that I know typically tends to be.


00:26:39.170 --> 00:26:49.560

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But and I've when I've worked with them, you know, in terms of my work and um I work with them, or just had conversations frequently. I'll hear that when they were kids, and sometimes we the dramas out as well


00:26:51.220 --> 00:26:58.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when they were kids, they had this moment of seeing this world that they've been wanting.


00:27:01.190 --> 00:27:02.330

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What!


00:27:02.840 --> 00:27:04.000

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What


00:27:04.680 --> 00:27:06.780

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is crazy?


00:27:07.060 --> 00:27:08.970

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What am I doing here?


00:27:16.550 --> 00:27:18.870

Insane? And I reject it completely.


00:27:19.490 --> 00:27:23.049

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Trauma of like seeing this


00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:27.040

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: planet, the state that it's in, and the way people treat each other.


00:27:27.050 --> 00:27:30.329

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Um! But there's also that pain of that confusion of


00:27:31.140 --> 00:27:36.149

because it's so contrary, and this is more on like the humanity level.


00:27:36.390 --> 00:27:39.620

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's what i'm talking. It's just so contrary


00:27:39.880 --> 00:27:43.910

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to what they don't really instinctively know


00:27:52.810 --> 00:27:56.480

what's right or wrong, and you understand, Sometimes children need to learn the


00:27:56.490 --> 00:28:01.230

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but long as we have that inborn with this, we know that something's there


00:28:01.490 --> 00:28:04.080

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: we know when something's right.


00:28:04.420 --> 00:28:07.869

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There can be that just complete,


00:28:08.150 --> 00:28:09.930

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: utter baffle


00:28:10.290 --> 00:28:12.900

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when it comes to humanity as a whole.


00:28:13.420 --> 00:28:14.630

This family


00:28:14.970 --> 00:28:18.239

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: communities in some way, but it can also be with humanity as a whole, the


00:28:18.620 --> 00:28:22.140

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because of the greater problems.


00:28:22.650 --> 00:28:24.040

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, anyway,


00:28:30.050 --> 00:28:33.469

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: how can you recognize it if you've got some kind of


00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:40.919

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: whatever struggles you have, and especially when it comes to the inner child, is that you may also have the


00:28:41.230 --> 00:28:44.100

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: those inner children inside of you


00:28:44.170 --> 00:28:46.030

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that are carrying that concern,


00:28:46.370 --> 00:28:57.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and especially i'm just going to offer this, especially when it comes to if you have trouble reconciling. That was the word I was looking for earlier.


00:28:57.180 --> 00:28:59.829

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You're not in trouble reconciling


00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:04.740

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the fact that, let's say someone is your mother, or your father


00:29:05.090 --> 00:29:06.819

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and the flat


00:29:07.550 --> 00:29:08.659

anything you want to say.


00:29:08.690 --> 00:29:09.590

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's not


00:29:09.600 --> 00:29:10.300

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: all right.


00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:12.609

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's not mother and your fatherly.


00:29:12.660 --> 00:29:15.610

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That's not kindly, parental


00:29:15.740 --> 00:29:17.220

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or healthy.


00:29:18.320 --> 00:29:22.900

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You and you and you have struggle with. How do you feel about this person? You


00:29:23.470 --> 00:29:24.910

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I would just,


00:29:25.940 --> 00:29:31.819

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I would recommend that it was part of your journey that you look into


00:29:33.490 --> 00:29:37.790

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: parts of you especially. I would think it's the inner child of children,


00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:39.339

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the inner children inside of it


00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:41.390

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that are carrying this confusion;


00:29:41.880 --> 00:29:45.480

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and what I would offer is to honor


00:29:45.730 --> 00:29:50.239

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the confusion of that child. And this is what I often do


00:29:50.630 --> 00:29:53.490

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when i'm working with it confused in her child.


00:29:53.500 --> 00:29:55.000

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is I just?


00:29:55.020 --> 00:29:56.410

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I validate it.


00:30:02.060 --> 00:30:03.350

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You're right,


00:30:03.570 --> 00:30:04.490

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: makes sense.


00:30:04.500 --> 00:30:08.000

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Receive talking to the child validating


00:30:08.030 --> 00:30:09.499

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: which is making sense.


00:30:09.660 --> 00:30:14.149

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's not. And and I also validate its feelings. No, it's not okay, but it


00:30:15.280 --> 00:30:17.190

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's not okay for someone to treat.


00:30:18.350 --> 00:30:23.689

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it's validating. It's honoring It's helping that child feel less alone in its


00:30:24.270 --> 00:30:27.249

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because, of course, if the child, if you grew up


00:30:27.510 --> 00:30:31.289

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in an environment where this was the norm, and yet no,


00:30:31.300 --> 00:30:41.510

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: somebody was reflecting that back to you to say, this is not okay or no one was protecting you or defending you. Then there's really that sense of isolation in that confusion.


00:30:42.040 --> 00:30:51.819

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so I would just offer that that as part of your work on yourself and your journey with your own in our children, and your journey to heal the ones of childhood.


00:30:51.830 --> 00:30:54.590

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Take a moment to notice if for that


00:30:54.600 --> 00:30:56.329

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: there are this


00:30:56.600 --> 00:30:58.410

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: children of confusion,


00:30:59.120 --> 00:31:01.579

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: they'd have that conclusion pain,


00:31:01.590 --> 00:31:09.700

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and take the time necessary to draw them out and listen to them, and honor them and honor that their confusion is a form of pain,


00:31:09.820 --> 00:31:25.549

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but it's not about trying to fix or reconcile it for them, and it's not about trying to like Answer. I mean, I mean? Maybe there are some questions that would be answered, but just to honor and validate.


00:31:26.090 --> 00:31:28.209

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Where is that conclusion? And


00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:29.500

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: there's came from that?


00:31:30.110 --> 00:31:42.309

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So I hope this has been helpful, as always. Again, My name is Emily Eldredge. I ChangeLight, It's always check us out. In fact, we've got some new programs we're launching for children


00:31:43.390 --> 00:31:57.299

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: really excited about that doing a pilot program, and i'm going to be doing this show. So check us out,, and I will talk to.


00:31:57.580 --> 00:31:58.870

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What are you.


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