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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello, hello, and welcome again to Inner Work for Greater Good. My name is Emily Eldredge. I am your host
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host is with the most as well. Maybe not. But I am your hostess, and I'm the founder of ChangeLight the Creator, the ChangeLight System, and i'm all about teaching you inner work and guiding people, my clients and others through in a work that accelerates your power to really be your best self, lie to make a difference feel amazing, so that you can really have the greatest impact that you came here to have, and our world can light up with your light.
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So
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: today. I i'm not really sure why I'm discussing this topic. But if you've seen my other shows, you'll know that I tend to discuss the topic. But it's like. Oh, this came up with a client this week or this came up in my life where i'm struggling with this. So I realized that or this other person struggling with this, or what have you in this case? It's not like. I've been struggling with this. I just popped into my head, which makes me think that somebody needs to hear this. Somebody needs to understand this and recognize this, that this might be going on inside themselves, and you might be that person
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or someone you know, might be that person, and you can share this episode with them.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But anyway, the point is, the topic I want to mention today is what I call or no. The turn came to me stealth, inner critic. And here's the thing you know. When we talk about the inner critic. People like to talk about the inner critic. First of all guarantee you there's probably more than one inner critic inside of you. That's been my experience. We don't all just have one. We usually have multiple. However, there can be one that's louder than the others. But then, if we heal that one that's critical. Sometimes you can end up with another voice
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after a while. That shows up. That's criticizing you and a lot of times it's a matter of figuring out who is at the root of that voice like, who is the one talking? And why are they speaking that way? And so typically an inner critic. We see as a part that's criticizing you that's telling you you're not good enough. It's undermining your confidence in yourself. It's making you feel small or unworthy, or, you know, hurt and attacking you.
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And that is typical right. You know it's like
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you see it as like all that part that's saying you're stupid, or you're not good enough. And sometimes we can have an inner critic can actually show up as basically it sounds like the voice of our mother or our father, or a teacher? Or what have you? Because usually in that case it's because a part of us has taken on that voice and taken on those behaviors and that attitude and those that emotional stance and perspective. And in order to try to control us, so if you've seen my other episode.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know that what we often call in our container critics are typically a type of exPower type of inner part that I call an inner Controller. Why do I call it that? Because it's mo is to control you or a part of you. So that's typically you know, when we talk about an enterprise. It's what I call it, or interController is often
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: an editor Critic is often what I would call your Controller, and it's it's sort of attacking you or a part of you, and same terrible things. But the truth is, we can have. First of all, we can have different types of in our Controllers, which of course, means we can also have different types of inner critics.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and sometimes they can show up in ways that may not sort of fit that.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know, stereotypical idea of what your credit is, and yet at the same time they can have, They could still have that impact on us which is undermining our faith in ourselves, making us feel small, making us feel inadequate, making us feel not good enough. And so the one type that comes to mind when I talk about stealth. Inner credit is this type that
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you can call it sort of nickname the Underminer for the Doubter. I had a bunch of these early on, when I was first drawing out all these voices inside of me and these parts that were making me feel bad and less than and small and not good enough, and I realized that there were voices inside.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They were basically had this tone of like I don't know, you know, it was constantly that kind of refrain. If i'd want to make it, I might want to make a a decision to do something. I want to take an action, and I get this feeling, this part that was like what?
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Oh, well, but what about this? But what about that? I, You know you. Did you think of this.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so I would call that sort of the inner dollar type of in her critic. And basically it was a part of me I've run into this, sometimes with others, that
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in my case actually it had taken on the voices of my mother. I love you, mom, you're amazing. We, she and I've talked about this a lot about like how you know her parenting or her sort of you know the things she she impressed on me, growing up, you know, had an impact on what I carry today, and I've had to feel a lot of that stuff. And so she's apologize. We've made up. Everything's great. My mom is amazing. She's really. I've talked about her before.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but something she would do that later, translated, or, you know, transferred into me as this voice of I don't know, was that was just. She would always question, Are you sure this is right? And I don't know, and it was constantly it felt, and I obviously internalized it. It wasn't intended this way, but I internalized it as
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this voice that doubted my choices, my ability to do things that doubted that I that you know that I had sought everything through. So it was that constant and like
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No, and I know I keep working that refrain. But that's because that's I think that's kind of obviously what I think. My mother said to me a lot, and we question, and in her case, in most parents, cases, and other people's cases, it is well intended it's not meant to undermine our belief in ourselves, our trust in our Truth, our faith, and our abilities. They're not. It's not intended to do that. And my mother in this case never ever intended that. Yet at the same time
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in me it became internalized as kind of like a kind of stealth inner critic
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that it was. It was in this sort of roundabout way, criticizing or questioning, or undermining my approach, my thoughts, my feelings, my choices, my decisions.
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And so it felt like an inner critic, because ultimately it was basically the message that it felt like I
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: we're sending them that I was getting was. You're not good enough. You don't know what you're doing. You're not smart enough. You haven't really. You know, really thought everything through, etc., etc. And so it felt
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it. It had a similar impact of an inner critic which an inner critic is often meant to try to, you know, make us doubt ourselves, or question ourselves, or to attack us, so that we'll feel small, so that we will be scared and afraid again that wasn't necessarily my mother's intention in this case. And yet it ended up turning into this
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: kind of criticizing, but in that but in a stealthy way, right sort of a bad candidate, underhanded, an undermining kind of way. One of the intentions of an integrated out in our critics can have multiple, you know, several different intentions, but 2 0f the 2 0f the main ones that I found are that inner credit can be trying to make you smaller, make you contract so that you won't step out and risk being criticized or risk, you know, being attacked.
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but the other the other way that an enterprise can do that as well as to try to push you and pressure you and you know. Come on, get out there. You can do it to make you bigger and make you achieve, so that you won't feel insecure and small. So my point is that this under minor doubter type is kind of like the first type, whereas right now I kind of pulling you back no sort of making you contract and question yourself, and and that, anyway, the point is that that can be kind of a stealth type of
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: no critic. There's another sort of stealth inner critic, and I don't know if it really fits under stealth so much as we can on the surface. When we hear that voice, we can think it is an inner critic with those kinds of intentions or motivations to either try to get us to, you know. Push forward, and you know, be better, so that we don't feel sad or smaller insecure, or the opposite can try to hold this back, ultimately trying to control us in some way or another. But there's another type of
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: critical in our voice and in our credit, whatever whatever inner voice, that critical, whatever inner critic it's actually not a Controller necessarily in the classic sense. Instead, it's often a room dead. And when these types of inner credits show up.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or inner critic that feels like you under critic, but it's actually more of a critical Wounded, I guess you could say, or controlling, or did this another way? I like to see it is that it'll say, Well, you're a terrible person. You're awful and your need. And you're this, and it's like attacking us like an inner critic, you know. Would you say you're not good enough, and trying to, you know, make us feel badly about ourselves. But when I end up talking to those types of voices inside, when we end up doing the Drawing Out Process with those types
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: ends up happening, is it turns out it's actually the voice of an inner child. And the reason why it's attacking is because it's angry. You. It's really upset at you, but ultimately, because it wants to get your attention. It wants attention from you. It wants you to like, pay attention to its needs and take care of its feelings. And so that's where it's different from a Controller. It's a Wounded, because ultimately it's intention. It's just attacking you. To try it.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's trying to get you to make better decisions, but ultimately, because it's feeling threatened it's feeling scared. It wants to feel better, so it's more directed towards itself as opposed to an inner Controller critics like a a a Controller and type there. Oh.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in our critic Controller, that's basically trying to get you to change, so that you'll make better decisions, so that you'll you know whatever it is that it's trying to get you to. Do you know, hold back or push forward, or whatever. But an inner critic voice of an integr that's actually a Wounded. It's a different. It wants attention for itself.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The Controller is more focused on you. The Wounded is more focused on itself, but it's trying to get you to focus on it.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to help it, not feel so scared or insecure, or angry at you for the choices that you're making, you know, to pay more attention to doing things a different way, or to a way that's going to help it feel safe and secure and paid attention to. Now, in that they.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I will say that that kind of inner critical voice has definitely been present within me in the past few weeks is, I've been contending with a ginormous inner child in lead.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: who's been extremely resistant, and Henry and sad, helpless and helpless, and all this stuff, and sometimes it's use that critical voice to try to get me to turn around and pay attention to it.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of course, that doesn't always work, because what do we want to do when someone's criticizing it? Sometimes we just want to turn away and ignore. And so I've been trying to be like. Look, leave me alone like Knock it off, kid. And yet, really there was trying to do is get my attention so that it could convey some really good wisdom for me, and some even like like big issue long term type stuff to say if you don't listen to me, and you don't honor what I need as well. We're not going to be happy if I ain't, hey? We have, we ain't nobody happy, and that is where that
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: critical in our child or in your children in general. But speaking at the critical inner child, you know that's where you know it. Can. It can be pretty tough. It can be a pretty tough presence to deal with, especially if you're meeting. I don't have anybody to do the Drawing Out Process on me. So it's a little bit harder. It takes me a little bit longer than it might take my clients if I was working with you one of them, you know, to heal that that child, but the type that i'm struggling with. But anyway, the point is that when we have
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that that if this is a type of inner critic going back to that stealth inner critic that may not be attacking or telling you you're not good enough, right. It's not in the classic sense, but it's still having that effect of undermining and creating doubts and
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and causing us to lack
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: a feeling of joy or purpose, or, you know, like of of of trust in ourselves. That's a different kind of stealth in their critic. Okay.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that's going back to that. So, anyway. Just throw that out there, you know. Do you have this voice inside of you? That's like undermining you, or constantly doubting it's usually it's
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: intentions are always good when it comes to these Controllers or inner critics. Any of these exPowers. I've talked about this before. The intentions are always good, even if the results are not. And so sometimes I want to throw this out here, too, that, like in my case, mine was like the voice of my mother.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know, sort of one of those voices my mother would use with me sometimes growing up because she was basically trying to get me to make sure I was thinking things through, and to make sure I was really considering all the options, and I was really weighing everything. And so the intentions were absolutely good, but in that case it was my mother's force. But sometimes they can actually just be a function of your mind that it's just that analytical part of you that's Basically, saying, okay, wait. Are we thinking this through.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: really sat down and questioned everything going on here, or having really really looked inside yourself. And so that's where it can actually be very helpful.
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It's not or put. Let's put this way. That's where it's intentions. The good intentions could be. But it's just trying to get to, you know. Get you to make sure you've really thought it through. The problem is, though, when it causes us to feel undermined, and doubt ourselves, and not trust ourselves, etc., because usually when it's when it's having that effect it's because it's coming from an anxious.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: fearful, you know, nervous for you. You know kind of controlling space where it's trying to control you, or part of you, or make you. You know, sort of question yourself and questions things alright, so anyway, hope this is helpful again, always wanting to help you sort of identify what's going on inside of you and really work through some of that. As always, I teach part of the drawing up process in my free program ChangeLight that world.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: community or or community that ChangeLight that will just go to the website. Sign up. It's free. The community is free. The course in there is free. I did that at the beginning of this year, or I when I did it sometime in the last few months, because I really want you and everyone else to be able to experience this work at least part of this really powerful stuff for free, and learn more about, you know, really discover what's going on inside of you and draw it out so that you
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you can feel more happy, free, at peace and whole, all right, and really make a bigger difference in the world.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: as always. I hope this is helpful. My name is Emily. I love you, and I hope to see you in the community. Otherwise I will see you next week.