top of page
  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | Why Don't You Trust Yourself?




00:00:04.170 --> 00:00:31.050

Hi! Sorry I was muted for a second. There, my name is Emily, and I am the host of Inner Work for Greater Good, so nice to have you here. Sorry I had some technical issues there. But the whole point of inter work for greater good is to teach you inner work that accelerates your power, accelerates and expands your power to really make a difference, to shine your brightest light, and to be the best you that you can possibly be so that you can have the biggest impact that you possibly desire to have.


00:00:31.640 --> 00:01:01.319

So today's subject is, why don't you trust yourself? And then the actual second question of that is, why should you trust yourself so trusting yourself is something that I run into last sorry lack of trust in oneself is something I run into a lot with my clients, and it's so interesting because usually in the beginning of my sessions with my clients, or I'm about to take them through the Drawing Out Process. Or maybe I'm already taking them through the Drawing Out Process.


00:01:01.350 --> 00:01:25.839

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: And basically what sometimes I find myself, you know, listening to them. And then I think they're not trusting themselves. That's just a bit like it's that basic your sounds. And I'll say to them like, it sounds like you're just not trusting yourself. And, in other words, that comes up because I can hear that parts of that their Truth is really speaking, and that they actually know. Let's say what's right for them in that situation or in that moment.


00:01:26.310 --> 00:01:49.989

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: But they're not trusting the voice of Truth, or they're not even recognizing that Truth as their Truth. They're not recognizing that that's actually their clarity speaking. That's actually the wisdom trying to get heard. But either they're not listening to it, or they're really not trusting it and trusting that that's the appropriate choice for themselves, or even that they should even trust themselves.


00:01:50.010 --> 00:01:59.330

So really, this is a question of why don't we trust ourselves? This is just such a common problem. And there's basically it's actually a problem.


00:01:59.330 --> 00:02:24.110

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: pretty simple like answer, although it can be expanded a lot, and that usually is because of choices we've made, or experiences that we've had that have caused us to fear, that have caused us to doubt and question. And what ends up happening. So let me just say, actually, with childhood, for example, maybe you did something


00:02:24.110 --> 00:02:31.269

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: you felt really proud of, and you felt really good about, but rather than getting praised by your parents, you got criticized.


00:02:31.400 --> 00:02:35.810

What if you did something that


00:02:36.120 --> 00:02:48.640

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: you thought was right. And you really were like, Yeah, I know I'm doing the right thing. But then there was not such a great result from that, or at least as you could see, that you had good intentions. But the results were not so great.


00:02:48.640 --> 00:03:07.929

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: you know there are all kinds of situations in our lives, in childhood and into adulthood. They can cause us to think. Well, maybe I shouldn't trust myself. You know I was wrong. Or maybe I can't trust, not just in myself, but also in the people around me, in the world around me.


00:03:07.930 --> 00:03:15.140

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: So it's the experiences that create that end up creating that fear inside of us


00:03:15.140 --> 00:03:37.240

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: that can cause us then not to trust. And what happens is, talk about this all the time is that parts inside of us form inside of us in reaction to those experiences and those parts of the parts of us that carry those fears, whether they're afraid for themselves, or they're afraid for us, or sometimes both.


00:03:37.270 --> 00:04:01.540

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: And so what happens is because of those experiences. It's like a part of a sort of gets encoded with that fear. And I call these parts exPowers. I talk about this a lot in my work. This is something I've discovered. There are 3 types of exPowers, etc. You can watch the videos about those. But the point is that those parts of this getting coded with that fear. And so, because then there's fear nothing about what's the opposite of fear. It's trust.


00:04:01.740 --> 00:04:23.439

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: I know we say it's love, but I actually think it's more trust. So if we fear something, we definitely don't trust it. If we trust something, we definitely don't fear it, you know. Or you know, we could just trust that it's gonna do what it's gonna do. But it means you kinda go alright. That's that's just the way it is. And you can trust that. That's what that thing is gonna do or persons gonna do. But the point is that


00:04:23.460 --> 00:04:26.499

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: one of the opposites of fear is trust.


00:04:26.580 --> 00:04:41.079

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: and the opposite of trust is fear. And so what happens is parts of us form in our lives that carry that fear, and then they'll pop up whenever it comes time to actually make a decision or take a certain action


00:04:41.080 --> 00:05:00.449

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: or want to trust a person in our lives, you know. Maybe there's a relationship. There's a possible relationship that could be forming. And yet we're like, I don't know if I can trust that person. I don't know if I can trust myself in the relationship. I don't know that I can trust that. I'll make the right decisions. I don't know if I can trust my intuition, etc. All these questions that we have.


00:05:00.450 --> 00:05:07.619

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: And so what happened, and that that is because of these parts of us that carry those fears.


00:05:08.080 --> 00:05:25.270

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: and what they can do is, they can cause us to question ourselves. They can cause us to fear outcomes, they can cause us not to trust in our own ability to achieve certain things, or do certain things. They can. Ca, they can undermine our sense of faith and trust


00:05:25.270 --> 00:05:50.229

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: in ourselves, in the world and others, and they can also prevent us. They can actually be stopping us physically, stopping us from doing that thing because they're afraid of what would happen if we were to do that thing both a fear of positive and fear of negative. I mean, there are parts of this that are just as afraid of our of darkness as they are of our life, because maybe we've been criticized within those moments when we've been shining our lights.


00:05:50.290 --> 00:06:15.570

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: And so it's important to be aware that actually, that that, not trusting yourself is not saying that you're wrong or you're stupider. You don't know the answer, or whatever it can easily be, because you have parts of you that have taught you not to trust yourself. I remember that when I was a years ago, I have part of myself that I drew out and doing the Drawing Out Process on myself and it


00:06:15.630 --> 00:06:29.019

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: I as I was trying to make. I think I'm trying to make a decision on something. But I noticed this like voice of like, I don't know, you know, that we just sort of, and it wasn't like no, you're stupid. No, you can't. It wasn't like criticizing me. It just kept going.


00:06:29.590 --> 00:06:42.220

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: and even in that voice. So I drew it out. I forgot what it looks like, but I even wrote down what it said, and even the sound that it kind of made. And I thought, Where is that coming from?


00:06:42.350 --> 00:07:04.049

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: And it was coming from someone in my life, from my childhood. Who? That's the sound that this person would make anytime. I was about to make a decision, or I was trying to, you know, go forward on something, and this person wanted me to step back and just think it wasn't ill intended. But what it ended up doing inside of me is great in this part. It was like.


00:07:04.310 --> 00:07:20.619

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: So it was like mimicking. It's, you know, this person's voice and going. I don't know. And what happened was rather than just being that voice, that kind of help me to go. Well, maybe I need to step back and just consider everything. Let's say, maybe I just need to process this a little bit longer before I jump into this


00:07:20.620 --> 00:07:35.889

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: this, whatever the thing was, you know. Maybe I'm doing. Hold on. But what it did was actually create fear inside of me, and a lack of trust in myself, because it felt like this person wasn't trusting in my ability to make that decision for myself, probably because I was a child.


00:07:35.970 --> 00:07:41.890

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: but also that it made this maybe feel like I just couldn't trust myself at all.


00:07:42.010 --> 00:08:08.639

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: And so this part was like Hmm. And undermining my faith in myself. So that's one example of a part of this that confirmed that, you know, may come from even a perfectly well intentioned person, and yet it still has that impact of causing us not to trust ourselves. And so what I did was I drew that part out and released it. You know it feels so that it like let go and stop doing that job that it thought it should have been doing.


00:08:08.640 --> 00:08:15.330

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: and I stopped having that voice inside of me, and it made it a lot a hell of a lot easier to actually trust myself and really trust


00:08:15.330 --> 00:08:24.189

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: that I could that what I was feeling was correct for me in terms of what I needed to do, and that it was okay to do what felt right for me.


00:08:24.620 --> 00:08:33.259

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: That I could consider all the options, or I could consider all the thoughts and the feelings and everything, but at the same time that I really just need to trust me.


00:08:33.280 --> 00:09:01.129

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: So the point is that if you're noticing that you don't trust yourself. If you're noticing that you're constantly in this? I don't know. Should I do this? Should I do that? Maybe there's an anxiety about it. Maybe it's a split, flopping maybe it's, you know, not trusting yourself in relationships because you've made mistakes before, or because you thought oh, yes, this person's the one, and then it turns out that they would not your forever person. And so then you start to really not trust your own


00:09:01.130 --> 00:09:13.429

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: taste, your own perspective, your own perception of people. Or maybe you really were in a situation where somebody like seems really great, and then they absolutely violated your boundaries, and they turned out not to be


00:09:13.430 --> 00:09:36.899

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: who they who they present themselves, as I mean. That is a kind of trauma they can really cause. You know. III don't know who to trust, and I can't trust in my sense of other people, for example. So the point is there all kinds of experiences that cause us not to trust ourselves, but really what they're doing. And this is the key thing that I want to get across here is that what those parts are doing is all they're doing


00:09:37.290 --> 00:09:39.520

is obscuring


00:09:39.890 --> 00:10:02.210

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: the inner Truth, that inner knowing that inner trust that is always there, that we already have inside of us. Okay, so it's not that that ability to trust yourself, or that that inner knowing, and that intuition, and that you know faith in our faith in yourself or in life, or the world. It's that's already there.


00:10:02.410 --> 00:10:23.740

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: It's not like you have to go get that somewhere, if that's already there, and these parts. All they're doing is obscuring your ability or preventing you from really tuning into that and trusting that they're sort of blocking it. It's kind of like you might have this, you know, really bright light and someone's throwing blankets on it or putting filters in front of it or creating static.


00:10:23.900 --> 00:10:43.760

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: but that light is still always there. And so then second question, of course, is, why should you trust yourself? First of all. because, not trusting yourself a lot of times is just a big, fat waste of time and energy. Think about how much time you have spent.


00:10:43.760 --> 00:11:04.580

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: like ruminating and questioning, and really like your brains like I don't know. I don't know all this kind of stuff, and how long it takes and how much energy it takes. Emotions. Take up a lot of our energy. Just notice like, think of the time when it was like, Oh, my God! I believe that point, or I


00:11:04.580 --> 00:11:10.330

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: or you know. Belabor that decision, or I, you know, beat that horse to to death. I


00:11:10.330 --> 00:11:20.950

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: I just didn't trust myself, and I wasted so much time and energy trying to figure things out or trying to control things. Maybe that I just couldn't control. So for one thing.


00:11:20.950 --> 00:11:42.089

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: it actually helps, it's actually it. It saves you so much time and energy when you actually do tune in to your Truth and to that knowing and trust it. Now you may make mistakes, and that's okay, alright, or in the moment you may make what you think is a mistake, but it actually may result in something fabulous. So you never know


00:11:42.090 --> 00:11:59.569

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: so, but you never know unless you trust, and unless you at least give yourself that chance to trust yourself or trust the other person, let's say genuinely, feel like, maybe you're just. It's just your own fear and not necessarily your intuition. You know. There's there's all kinds of things that can come when we actually trust ourselves.


00:11:59.590 --> 00:12:13.330

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: and it makes life a lot easier. Actually, that's kind of part of it. Stop wasting so much time and energy. Life becomes so much easier when we trust ourselves. It is so much easier and so much less wasted time and energy.


00:12:13.640 --> 00:12:20.050

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: because when you trust your Truth. you make better decisions.


00:12:20.110 --> 00:12:30.719

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: you feel more empowered, and you light up when you actually can allow yourself to notice that voice of Truth, that wisdom inside of you.


00:12:30.820 --> 00:12:40.539

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: and even though you may have other parts of either like you can draw this out. Do my course. Free course, Drawing Out Process. Take the free course. but you can you can.


00:12:40.740 --> 00:12:56.650

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: the more you allow yourself to go. Wait a minute. There is this calm, knowing that I have inside, even though I've got all these thoughts and fears and feelings, and all this other stuff it's like. But wait a minute. There is that calm knowing inside. I don't know where it's coming from. But it still feels right. I'm gonna trust that


00:12:56.720 --> 00:13:09.490

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: that that is when we trust it. That's actually when we make better decisions, clearer, calmer decisions and feel so much more empowered because we're making that decision, not from fear, but from faith.


00:13:09.500 --> 00:13:14.020

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: not from fear, but from trust, and from our inner knowing, and that Truth.


00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:15.360

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: So


00:13:15.490 --> 00:13:32.440

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: think of a situation in your life where you are not trusting yourself whether it's to make the right decision, or to go in a certain direction or to whatever it is. Just notice. Maybe it's more than probably more than one area in your life where you're not trusting yourself


00:13:32.470 --> 00:13:42.979

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: and imagine who would I be if I were to trust myself? What would I do if I were to trust myself? If I am sorry if I trust, if I trusted myself. What would I do if I trusted?


00:13:43.160 --> 00:13:49.010

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: My Truth? What decision would I make? Which path would I take? How would I feel


00:13:49.020 --> 00:14:05.549

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: so just play with that, and notice the contrast between when you make decisions from fear and lack of trust in yourself versus, when we make decisions and see things through the blends of, I trust myself. And everything's going to be okay. And I'm going to be okay.


00:14:05.550 --> 00:14:23.659

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.World: Alright, let me know how it goes. As always, Emily, my email is Emily and change like, well, please do come to change like dot world, and get them. Take the course, get into our community. It's free. I would love to have you there, and if until then I'll see you next week, and I hope you stay well. Big hands.


bottom of page