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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | What Does It Mean to "Love" Yourself?





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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello! Hello! Hello! And welcome to another episode of Inner Work for Greater Good. My name is Emily Eldredge. I am your host


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and the Founder of ChangeLight, and the Creator of the ChangeLight System, which is all about doing inner work that accelerates your power to feel good. So you can do good and do better at what you already do, and who you already are. I am, you guys. You can see I have a different backdrop today. I'm actually coming to you from my bed. I know a little weird, but anyway, it's my bed. This is my headboard, and the reason why is because my cousin is here in town.


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Texas. I'm in New York City, and he came in town from Texas.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and then we're gonna go up and spend some time with my family up north of here to have the holidays together. So i'm actually kind of dick down a little, you know, at the bread and green. You know we my family celebrates Christmas, and you know we do all the presence and all that kind of fun stuff and the tree and everything. So that's why I'm sitting here, because actually he is on the bed, the the couch that I normally sit on sit on is actually a pull out vet. So he's been staying with us as our house guest and using that as his bed.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay, so Anyway, that explains why. so today I want to talk to you about this idea of loving yourself. What does it mean to love yourself? Now? I I think the we the main reason why I want to address this is because I used to have kind of


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In my opinion I don't know it was like an inaccurate or a sort of superficial idea of what it means to love yourself. What do I mean by that? I mean that I used to think that you know people would say, you have to love yourself, and you should love yourself and love love love, and I kind of thought of that as like. Oh, I should love myself like such nice, kind feelings towards myself, and it was this sort of like


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: fluffy sort of soft hearted, you know, feeling about myself, and there's nothing wrong with that. That's wonderful and great. But as I went through a lot of experiences, that idea of loving myself, really started to show up in different ways, in in more sort of evolved ways, in my opinion, in more kind of emotionally sophisticated ways, in terms of how I treated myself, and how I talked to myself and took care of myself.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so I just want to share that with you that this idea of loving yourself just in case you might have kind of a different idea, maybe similar to mine, or a different one about what it means to love yourself. And so I was sitting down thinking about. What do I think of now


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: when I think of loving myself, and certain words came really strongly to me. the words that came to me were value.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: honor, honor, or respect. So it's kind of both honor myself, respect myself.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and I also wrote down, evolve, and grow.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So notice in a way, there's kind of a progression there, so it's value, and also then to honor and respect, and then also to evolve and grow. So let me break this down what I mean by this. So the way I see it when it comes to love yourself is very simply to value yourself, to know that you have value and worth just for existing, not because of anything you do, or because of whatever your status is, or because of


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: whatever your title is, and you know your profession, or because of anything else but just the very base baseline of valuing yourself simply because you exist


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for who you are. Now notice that when I talk about valuing yourself, that's a different at least to me it is. It's a different feeling than what I was saying. Like Love yourself. It's valuing to me comes from sort of a solid, strong, clear place like. I value myself. I know that I am worthy. I know that i'm good enough, no matter what. So that's what I mean by valuing yourself beyond just having sort of loving feelings towards yourself. It's just saying.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I know that i'm. Okay. I know that i'm enough. I can value myself. I can really. And then this gets into the second one I can honor and respect myself. And so, when you really value


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: yourself, that's when it kind of leads to a. Then honoring yourself, in other words, making those choices that are all about honoring what's right for you, and taking care of you and respecting you, and that can mean respecting what you know is right for you. It can mean respecting your own boundaries when it comes to other people or situations or choices that you make respecting your body respecting your mind, I often


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that my greatest possession is my emotional well-being because for one thing I've worked really, really hard for it, but also because to me it is what I value more than anything is being emotionally well, and I find that as long as i'm emotionally. Well, obviously, physical wellness is really important, too. But I gotta. I could just throw in here a little little comment about this is that people often, you know, people said, obviously health as well, and if you don't have your health, you you don't have anything, and I I I tend to think when people say that


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: they're referring to physical health, but I would actually argue that emotional health is


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I I I don't know if I want to say it's more important, but it is definitely, equally as important, because there are people who are physically very well. They're fit. They're in shape. They're not emotionally well.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it doesn't matter how physically well they are. If they're not emotionally well, they have a bad perception of the of the world or of themselves, you know. And so it really affects how they view their circumstances, even in the most positive situations. And at the same time you can have people who are physically unwell, but have such a high emotional state and condition, and to actually see their physical illness from a positive perspective, from a place of growth


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or understanding or acceptance, or what have you? And so that's where I would even say, I think we need to, even when we talk about how things are most prized possession, or or, you know, without health, you don't have anything that really that emotional health I really want to put that out. There is like that is just as valuable. If not, I would argue, maybe sometimes even more valuable in some ways. I shouldn't say that I shouldn't say it's more valuable. I just want to make it so that it's on parts just as valuable as physical health. So when it comes to, you know, valuing ourselves.


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But then


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that turns into honoring and respecting ourselves. So respecting your physical body respecting your emotional well, being, making choices that show respect for yourself that is loving yourself when you make those choices that are right for you, and they are right for your Truth that are in alignment with your Truth. That is also loving yourself, and in that moment you may not have again going back to how I used to see loving yourself. You may not have those like.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Oh, i'm just loving myself in this moment. It may just be like


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I'm. Respecting myself. I respect and value myself enough


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to not do this thing, or to do that thing, or to make this choice, or to set this boundary, or to say yes, or to say no.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I am we, that is, that is, an action of value and respect for onesel, which I would argue is loving yourself. You love meaning you value and respect yourself enough to do what feels right for you, and that's not hurtful for you. or that's You know the yeah that's honoring and respecting yourself.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and then I mentioned evolve


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and grow well. Actually. No, i'm sorry. Let me back up. So i'm looking at my notes again. So in terms of honor. So respecting yourself and your Truth, and also I want to add about honor a couple of things I wrote here, too, so honor can also mean you honor


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and celebrate your own strengths and positive traits. So you really actually see the good in you. You see the valuable things you've done. You see that you're trying, even if you're not succeeding in the ways that you wish you were you, at least you're trying so again. That's a form of loving yourself and having kindness towards yourself and respect for yourself. So it's honoring and celebrating your own strengths and positive traits


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: which can mean at the same time. And i'll explain why this is important, this whole at the same time thing recognizing and working to heal or change those troubled areas inside you, or and or those unhealthy behaviors that you may have towards yourself


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or towards others. So here's why I think this both, and here is important that we can both love and honor and value and respect ourselves, our strengths, our positive traits, while at the same time recognizing and being honest with ourselves about those parts of this that we got to work on. Maybe we got to improve on those. Maybe we got to heal someone's inside. Maybe we got to change some behaviors or some perspectives


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or some attitudes that we have, or some belief that we carry. So it's not that an either, or like well, I only love myself if I think i'm absolutely perfect and wonderful. No.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: no, that is just not from my perspective. That's just not the way it works, because then you're also in you're never going to get there. It's just a never ending thing. You're never going to get to that place where you feel like you truly love yourself because you're constantly recognizing or that. Oh, no, there's too much wrong with me. You can do both


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: both honor and value and respect yourself and see areas for improvement, if you will areas for for evolving and growing. And so that's why it leads to my final point about this, which is evolve and grow. So when we love ourselves. We value ourselves, we honor and respect ourselves, but we also love and value ourselves enough


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to evolve and grow, to be better versions of ourselves, to really recognize, as I said, those parts that maybe need help, or to recognize when we're not showing up fully as our best selves as we know we can, and then really working on that. That is also, I think, a sign of self respect. And of course it's also a sign of respect for others. You know. I mean when I think of it in terms of the work that I do on myself, my inner work for greater good. It's for me. It's so I feel


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: better. But it's also very intentionally for the world around me, for the people who work for me or with me, for my husband, my relationship with him for my relationship with my family, my relationship with my family members, you know, for anyone I run into on the street. I also feel that i'm doing it for them as well, because I want to show up as my best self with those people. You know whether it's my family, my husband, or because I love them, and because I want to be the best version of myself.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's also respecting myself enough, and ourselves enough to evolve and to grow and to improve on who we are. Or really I would even say, you're really uncovering the Truth of who you are. You're letting go, or shedding, or healing, or, you know, releasing whatever those parts that may not be serving you so that you really can shine your brightest, and be your best self, and live your fullest Truth.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And and just be who you truly are. So that's what those are, the main things that I wanted to share with you today to expand, if you will, this idea of self love?


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and I hope that this is helpful for you in recognizing that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that you that you let me put it this way.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And here's what you might do for yourself. Look at ways right now


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that you already do love yourself. That is, value, honor, and respect, and that you're evolving and growing. Look in ways in which you're already doing that which, I say is examples of your love for yourself.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Look at the where you're doing that where you're actually celebrating your own strength. Well, at the same time recognizing that you got stuff to work on, but doing it with compassion, not self shaming, not selfilification, but just, you know. Okay, I've got stuff to work on, you know one of the things I was part of. What brought up this subject for me was that my husband and I are always talking about our relationship, and we and improving our relationship. And we both work hard on at this and


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And obviously we have things that we complain about each other. You know there are things that I do or don't do, that irritate or annoy him, or things that he does or doesn't do it. Irritate and annoy me. But


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's one of the things I was saying to him when we were having a conversation about something that I help me find something I did or don't do. I don't remember this moment right now what he was upset about. But I kind of I said to him, like, okay, i'm not perfect, but you know what


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm an awesome wife like. I was just like completely knowing this. I was like, I am a great wife, and I wasn't


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: let me just make it clear. I wasn't like denying what he was saying. I wasn't just offending myself. I'm a great wife it was. It was more kind of like, yeah, okay, I hear what you're saying, and I get it, and I gotta work on that. And in the same moment as I was having that conversation with him. I also was thinking, and I said, No, I'm a really great wife


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: like I am awesome, I know I I look, I take care of you, and we take care of each other. And we, you know, really, you know, just the you're really tuned in, and all that kind of stuff. So, anyway, that's just all. By way of saying like I was it? I felt really really good, just to say like I


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm awesome. I'm really great. I'm not perfect. But i'm still a freaking, awesome wife. So you might even do that for yourself. Just be like, yeah.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: okay, I'm: not perfect at that. But i'm still really great at it. So really do a good job, and it doesn't have to be defensively towards anyone else who might be complaining about you. It can just be just for the sake of it, just to say i'm actually pretty drunk. Good at that. And that's a way of also loving yourself because you're recognizing that you know not to be perfect.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But you can still be really great and still value who you are and how you show up and what you bring, and and which is, you know, all the goodness and all the light that you can in this moment. Right now.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Alrighty, I hope this has been helpful, as always. This is Emily with in in our work for greater good. Do join us at ChangeLight that world to. We have our free community and our free course, and you can learn how to do the ChangeLight System. I teach you the basics really, really really simple, completely free. Just go to the page, click the button, and we'll let you in, and and you can get started doing this work for yourself, and really heal those inner struggles so that you can feel stronger, wiser, clearer, and more lit up there.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: All right. You want. I hope you have happy holidays, and I will see you again soon.


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