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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | When Should You Feel Before You Think?





 

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: Hello! Hello! And welcome to Inner Work for Greater Good. My name is Emily Eldredge. As always, I am here as your host.

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teaching you inner work that accelerates your power to change the world, to make a difference, to be the brightest possible light you can possibly be doing, whatever that lights you up, because that is what it's all about people lighting up as I see it. Our only job, our only job in this lifetime is to live our own Truth, because when we live our Truth, that's when we light up the world and

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: and the world needs our light, we can bring so much light to the world and make so many lives better, including our own, simply by trusting and following our own Truth. So I wanted to talk about something today that may on the surface seem a little bit controversial, because it's like, Wait a minute. How is that possible? And that is that you know, when we think about thinking and feeling, we talk about thinking and feeling when it comes to, for example, decision

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: making or trying to sort out a problem or trying to get through it a challenge or trying to make a decision. A lot of times we want to use our logic, and we want to just sync it through. I'm going to process and be very rational about it. And I completely agree with that. And

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: and

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: I really want to make a case today for the value of honoring our own emotions in that process. And here's what I mean. I'm going to give you an example, as always with my show. You know, it usually comes from something that just type in this past week that I want to share with you all. And basically what happened was, I was talking with someone

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: recently, and he was struggling with an issue in his work. He was really feeling overwhelmed, and he was trying to figure out how to sort things through, and he was feeling very stuck and didn't have any answers, and didn't feel like there was any way out. And so he'd been trying to, as we often do.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: figure out rationally or logically how to get through this situation, and he's been trying to rely on his left brain. But the problem was, he was so emotionally overwhelmed that he actually wasn't seeing clearly. And I don't know that judgmentally, I mean, I could see all these other options around him. I could see all these other doors and opportunities and possibilities

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that he just couldn't see himself because he was so emotionally overwhelmed. Now there is a reason for this. I wish I could cite the study, but, as always, my mother, she's an amazing psychotherapist and been an amazing mentor to me, and she once shared with me that there was a study. There may even be several States, but there was a study.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: They basically show that when it comes to left brain and bright brain. Okay, quick. Primer on left brain left brain is our logical, rational, reasonable all about language. That's that part of our brain that that's where that sort of centered and the right brain is, of course, more of our emotional or intuitive, our creative. It. It speaks in images. We've got these 2 sides of this. It's not entirely that binary, but just for the sake of this conversation. Here it is. So we've got these 2 sides. And what they found

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: is that when someone is in a state of emotional overwhelmed, the right brand has basically crowded out everything else. So, no matter how hard we try to actually engage our left brain and really think rationally

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: and logically and try to operate from that perspective, that right brain is still going to take over, or it's going to sort of overwhelm. And the studies have found that not. It's not until we honor our emotions that we can help our feelings, our emotions are overwhelmed, our confusion, our fears, our anxiety, whatever is going on, our anger, that once we that the more we allow those to calm down.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: Then it's like our left brain can kind of come back online. Then there's more space for that logical, rational, reasonable side of it. And so the reason why this is important. This is what I ended up doing with this man who I was working with, who is, you know, really struggling is that he was trying to figure things out with his left brain, which is what we often do.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: But he was overwhelmed by his emotions. So rather than my sitting there and trying to go. Well, let's keep this through and let's figure this out. Let's make a pros and cons list. Let's you know. No, I said, you know what. So this is how you're feeling. The feeling overwhelmed, and in his case what was also getting triggered was, well, he didn't notice at the time, but it turned out that what was getting triggered was stuff from his childhood

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: was a sense of powerlessness, of helplessness, of darkness, of not seeing his way out, of not having any sense of power or agency in this situation. So of course, that's why he couldn't see beyond, you know, his own fears. He couldn't see the possibilities, because basically, a stuff from childhood is being triggered. And it was overwhelming his ability to be in the present moment

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and see the reality for what it was, for what it is. And so I didn't go into trying to problem, solve with him. Instead, it was like, you know what?

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: Why don't we honor how you're feeling? Let's just sit with it. You don't have to figure it out again, trying to give permission to that left brain to calm down, set or set yourself aside. Just it's okay. You don't have to work so hard. Let's just honor the feelings.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: and sure enough, it just sat here and closed his eyes. He sat there and he honored his feelings, and he just we just went in, and sure enough it was. He was angry and irritated. It frustrated on the surface. He was irritated with people around him in the situation, but as we actually let those feelings just sort of

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: come up and process, and the word I even use was metabolized like our bodies, have emotions they need to metabolize. We don't let them metabolize. They're just going to sit there and faster and get worse. So we let those emotions come up.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: and sure enough, underneath them

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: was fear, anxiety, all kinds of belief that he was carrying about, you know, feeling stuck and not having any power. And then he got this really clear image. Because I also, you want to work to use what I feel very in secure. I said, Okay, so let's notice what that insecurity feels like in your body. What are you noticing?

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: And he he! He's immediately had this image, he said. It's like, I've fallen off a cliff. I mean, this is so specific. It was amazing. It's like I've fallen off a cliff.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: and it was my own fault. It was interesting because blaming himself. And he said, I, feeling all this shame, and I'm clinging to like the roots. You know. There's that image, you know, some of the movies where it's like person falling off, but they're clinging to roots, and I'm clinging, and there's no one there to save me. And I'm I'm about to fall into this reve. So it was a very clear image

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: that he had that was connected with the sense of insecurity, powerlessness, hopelessness, feeling very alone. There was no one there to help him.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: I just want to say. Here's why I also knew that he wasn't seeing clearly. He was feeling like no one was there to help him, even as he'd been telling me that the situation in his work there were actually people who were there to help him, who are actually offering to help him and asking questions, and, you know, wanting his feedback on things. And so the point is, though he was so stuck in such an emotional state that he couldn't think rationally. He couldn't see reality. He wasn't in the present moment.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: So that's all. By way of saying

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: that we sat with his feelings, we let them process them and metabolize like really let them come up from the depth so that he could express all these fears and anxiety and all the things that were clouding

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: his ability to really think clearly, to really process rationally, logically, reasonably

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: so. Sure enough, what do you want to guess that?

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: As he sat there and he cried a little bit, and he, you know, Shin was quivering, and some tears were coming down, but then he sat, and he started to say, Oh, oh, oh! Here was another cool one to tell you. He also said he was carrying this backpack full of rocks

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: of shame and failure. Now those were related to this past. Here's what started to happen. I didn't even give them any of these ideas. This is what starts to happen when we honor the feelings first and foremost, and give so we can give space for the reason the logic. Here's what happened.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: even that backpack of rocks, as the emotions started to lift because he allowed himself to feel them and express them. he said. you know what

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: you know it could be in that backpack of rocks. What if it's actually not rocks.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: what if it's tools?

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: What if it's tools that can help me get through this that can help me solve these problems and figure out these issues. I didn't plan that idea in his head. The by honoring his feelings, that clarity, that wisdom, that ingenuity, that innovation, that creativity, that expanded perspective

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: came in naturally. and sure enough, he could put down the back of the bag of what he thought was the bag of rocks, and instead of seeing it as a weight burden, that he had to carry it. Shame and failure from his past. He actually saw this. Well, actually, I can use this to help me move forward into the future with my future, with these challenges and other challenges.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: So it's a great example of what happens when we honor our feelings first, first.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: before trying to figure out, or I think I've even talked about in previous episodes. I always start with my inner world first, before I try to make a big change, whether it's a new exercise program or eating differently, or if it's a, you know, change in my work, or if I want to embark on a new project, I start inside, and I honor the feelings because I know

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: that if I don't honor those feelings and those fears in advance, or at least as much as I can that I'm aware of right now. They're gonna sabotage. My progress. They're gonna get in the way, and show up as blocks, or fears, or triggers, or self sabotage, or what have you? And so that's where I I

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: I I don't. I don't know that I want to sing in every situation. I don't think necessarily every situation. We should start with our emotions, because, you know, there's some. There's some times when it's like, no, we really need to just go straight to logic, you know. But the point is, for you know, for the sake of this purpose, you know. Let's

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: it's all about honoring the feelings first, so that you can clear and metabolize those. Give on or give space for those which open space, then.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: for the logic, the reason the clarity of the wisdom is actually there waiting to come in. It's just been crab it out for sort of obscure by our own overwhelming emotions.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: So I hope this is helpful with whatever you're struggling with. If there's a certain situation in your life that you're trying to process or move through. Just start by noticing the feelings that you're feeling, and let yourself honor those. I just also want to say to a lot of times. The reason why we're afraid to honor those feelings is because we're afraid we're going to get stuff there. We're going to get stuck in those feelings, and we're never going to get out. And it's true that sometimes

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: we can. The feelings can last a little longer than we necessarily want them to. Just be patient and gentle because they will move through it. They'll move through a lot better than if you just keep trying to push them down. They're just going to get stuck in faster and get worse. So why, I always say, just let them just honor them and let them move through, so that then you can make space for that wisdom that's just waiting, that intuition, that clarity, that life is waiting to guide you.

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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight.world: So I hope this has been helpful as always. I'm Emily Eldredge with ChangeLight dot world. Please do join our free community right? There's a free course in there where I actually teach you how to draw out these things and heal your emotions, and your triggers and blocks and blind spots, and room so much faster, so that you can make an even bigger difference in the world, and shine an even brighter light. So, as I said, and always say, the world needs your life.

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Thanks as ever talk to you again.


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