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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | Why Is Inner Work so Scary?





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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello Hello hello, and welcome to my show Inner Work for Greater Good, my name is Emily Eldredge I am the founder of ChangeLightand the creator of the ChangeLight System ChangeLightis where I teach.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Change makers and mission driven lever leaders and anyone with a sense of purpose and mission wanting to really make a positive difference in the world.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Where I teach you all inner i'm just adjusting my thing that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Inner work that accelerates your power to change the world that's what I mean by Inner Work for Greater Good, because oftentimes we think of inner work.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is not necessarily having an impact on the outside, at least that's how I think a lot of people do, and I know for a long time I that's how I saw it, I saw inner work as like it's almost selfish.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And self absorbed and you know navel gazing and like if i'm working on myself and i'm just trying to feel better than what difference does that make in the world, and I am here to tell you, through this episode in many other episodes.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That it has everything to do with making a difference in the world with bringing more light to our worlds with impacting people.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: positively, not just by what we do, but by who we are, by how we show up in our lives in our relationships in our work on the street.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, when someone drops something by accident in front of you, there are plenty of people who walk right on by but if you're one of those people who really.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: feels called to help and be of service, then maybe you're someone who helps and you pick up that thing for them, I know that's a tiny little example.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But my point, is it really is about how we show up in the world has everything to do with the impact that we can have on it without even trying, I actually really love.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This idea of in such as idea to reality that we can actually have an impact, without even trying.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Just by showing up as we are in our full most glorious most radiant most loving compassionate selves and the way that I believe that we do that with it, I found that I do that and I help other people to do that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is by doing that within yourself having that compassion for yourself having that connection with yourself.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: healing those wounds revealing your strengths, so that you can truly live and an honor and know, an actual lies your Truth, because when you live, your Truth, you are shining your brightest light.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: If this is your first time seeing my show welcome if it, but I, at the same time, I really recommend that you go back to after you watch this episode go back.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and watch the previous episodes because I lay out in detail the discoveries i've made about what's going on inside.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: About you know the Truth about your inner struggles and the three types the Truth about your inner power and the three unique types of powers that you have the Truth about your Truth.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the purpose of your Guiding Star in inspiring and guiding you to live your Truth.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In this episode I wanted it's almost like i'm backtracking a little bit, but I think you'll you'll understand why i'm doing this, I want to talk about this idea of inner work and why.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why is inner work or can inner work field so scary okay now, mind you, I understand that you know you might be someone who's like oh i'm always doing inner work, you know i've done a lot of you know meditation and i've done a lot of.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: therapy and i've done, you know other kinds of things to try to understand what's going on inside and really.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, really heal the wounds of the past, et cetera et cetera et cetera so you might be one of those people.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: which, in which case I applaud you and I would also say that you know, I wonder if, if you think back to when you first started if there was a time, back then, when actually the idea of inner work scared you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When it was like I don't know if I really want to look inside or when it was like the situation you were in almost forced you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: To have to look within and understand what is it that's going on inside of me, that is, has has has contributed to I don't want to say cause, because not as though, like we.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: are the only ones who cause things to happen, but like that has contributed to.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know this situation being unhealthy or toxic or that has caused, I would say caused me to be attracted to this kind of person or this kind of relationship.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Or that you know why is it that I keep having these patterns and so you may have had experiences in your life that led you to say you know what.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The common denominator here might be me or you know what i'm feeling a certain way and i'm sick of feeling this way and I gotta understand what's going on.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So you may have already kind of hit that point where you were like Okay, and you started to do your inner work or you may be someone who is brand new to inner work someone who's never really delved inside.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And really sought to understand yourself, or maybe you tried, you know looked at different modalities, or maybe you've read articles or you've seen some videos on YouTube or what have you I mean we can all sort of dabble.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Obviously, with my work the Inner Work for Greater Good we're talking about pretty deep stuff here I mean we're really we're talking about.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The deep triggers the deep wounds the deep blocks the blind spots, the walls that we carry.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why they're there why they exist and then ultimately through my ChangeLight System, I teach you how to heal those.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that they're not in your way so that they're not causing you pain and as a result, often unconsciously, causing other people pain, because that's what this is about to.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: As we heal ourselves, we heal our relationships, the world around us heels, because, as I see it, that's why our our wound world is so wounded, because we are wounded.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know it's not like the wild animals are internally emotionally wounded it's not like plants are internally emotionally wounded and they're, the ones who are causing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: us to have all these climate change problems or us to have all these wars.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: know who was causing the wars, we are we humans who was having all this conflict in their relationships we are okay fine you could argue that maybe they're birds nests.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That are having conflicts, as well, but they're also not like toxic buying our planet we are the ones doing it and so we're, the ones who need healing in order for our world.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: to heal that is absolutely vital and that when we can when we can when we can speak and behave and and perceive from that more healthy centered whole wise aligned with Truth space within us.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Not only does it make life easier, but it also makes it doesn't notice it, it makes us happier, but it also makes life easier it's just so much easier when you don't have all those triggers and wounds.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So That being said, the point, though, is that as much as I can sit here and advocate for why inner work is so important.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I I also really want to stop for a minute, after having shared all that inner work type stuff before those previous episodes and really honor the fact that you know what it's also can be very scary.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It can be really scary to look inside and get really honest with ourselves about what's going on in there, why we're feeling that way.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why we react that way in certain circumstances and really if someone keeps telling us or people keep telling us the same things like look you get so angry, or you know what you're just you know.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I wish I could just have a conversation with you, without you yelling at me or without you falling apart, or whatever.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm not saying that there's anything wrong with doing those things i'm saying that sometimes people can actually reflect back to us things that we need to hear.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then, and that it's you know can be really hard to then stop and go well you know what.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What is going on with me what is really going on inside of me, so I made a list of you know, some of the main reasons I found about why inner work can be so scary and the first one it's pretty obvious because oftentimes we're scared of what will find.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: If we really look inside and we really take an honest brutally honest, hard look at ourselves or if we just stop and allow ourselves to feel whatever we're feeling.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and be present, with it, without judgment without arguing with it, without any of those other things that keep us in struggle with it, if we really stop and allow ourselves to turn towards what's going on inside.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Just that act of turning inwards turning towards the pain or turning towards the reactions are turning inward.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: can be very hard, because we're scared of what we'll see.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And a lot of times part of the reason why we're scared of what we'll see is sometimes is because we're so identified.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: With whatever's going on inside, in other words if i'm scared that if I turn inward and i'm going to see a broken little girl who's carrying these wounds from childhood.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I may be scared of that because I may think on some level that I am that and I don't want to be that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so there could be a part of me that you know that i'm like I don't I don't want to face that because I don't want I don't want to deal with that I don't want to think that that's who I am.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that can be for, for example, so that can be one reason why we're scared to look inwards because we're scared of what we're going to find or.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: A lot of times we're scared of the monsters the monsters that are inside of us, I will, I will say here that when we talk about inner monsters and, by the way, when I first started my work.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I call them exPowers now, but when I first started doing my work, I called them my inner monsters.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And in fact the first one that I drew out i've shared this in previous episodes the first one that I actually drew back in 2009 it looks like a monster, and I call it, to this day, my first monster it's now.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: hanging in a place of honor in my kitchen because I see what what value it how valuable it was for me, what a difference, it made my life, but I called it a monster.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And because that's how it felt to me it felt monstrous and so a lot of times that's another thing that we're scared of we're scared of facing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What we perceive to be the inner monsters in ourselves, and we, and I think on some level, we think that we are that monster, so therefore I don't want to deal with that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Let me just just loop you in on something here in case it wasn't clear from some of my previous episodes about exPowers, what you think is monstrous about you, is not.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's not it's your perception that it's monstrous but, as you actually face and learn about work with that part you find that it's actually not monstrous at all.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In fact, I recently had a client who drew out a monster, and it was a monstrous inner critic that ripped to shreds and tore her apart.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Sure enough, by the end, it turned into this nice little guy that just wanted to give her advice, it was never a monster, to begin with, but it had grown to feel that way because she hadn't fully dealt with it and honored it or.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: she'd like tried to deal with it, but really it takes sometimes working with someone like me or someone else who can really work with that part for you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So what we think is monstrous inside ourselves is not but, nevertheless, if we think that there's something bad or wrong or awful about us we don't want to face it that's not fun that's scary so I want to honor that that we're scared of what will find.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We are scared of feeling the feelings.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, inner work nine times out of 10 requires feeling some amount of discomfort or pain.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: discomfort and pain are uncomfortable they are scary we have a resistance to feeling that way, because a lot of times and I found that unconsciously, this is what happens.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We resist pain, because on some subconscious level or even in terms of like you know, a visceral body level, we think that something that causes us pain could hurt us or kill us.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's just that kind of like primal fear of discomfort and pain, because of our body is sending us that signal of discomfort and pain.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Oh well, then it must mean that i'm in danger or, it must be that I should reject that thing or run away from it.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And there are times when that is absolutely the instinct to have, of course, there are times when that fear or that discomfort or that sense of threat or what have you is very healthy because your life truly might be in danger.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But unfortunately what often happens, though, is that we end up with this aversion to pain we don't even realize we're doing it a lot of the times.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And in fact For those of you seen the previous episodes about exPowers, I talked about Defenders Defenders are often that exPower that's the one that try to block you from those feelings.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because they're afraid that you'll feel that and then you'll feel weak and then you'll be threatened and all this other kind of stuff.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so the point is, we avoid the pain we don't want to feel that way you know what I have to say there's a wonderful thing that my mother said, years ago, my grandfather was.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: He had serious pain physical pain, with a hip so his hip was just getting worse and worse and worse, I think, at this time, he was in his 80s, he died at the age of like 98 few years ago.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But he he his physical pain was really, really bad and he'd been avoiding getting a hip replacement because he didn't want to go through the pain, you know, to stop and actually have to have the surgery and have to.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: go through the pain of recovery, etc, and my mom finally said to him, you know dad let me ask you which would you rather have the pain of getting worse or the pain of getting better.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So I want you to think about that, when we talk about inner work and we talk about the fear of our own pain.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When we do that inner work, yes, it can be painful when we face those fears when we face those wounds when we face those.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: monsters when we face those insecurities when we face those walls, we face all that kind of stuff inside of us that has.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That has formed inside of us as a result of painful experience as a result of fear inducing experiences or stressful experiences, it can hurt but here's The key thing when we truly face and honor the pain that we feel.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The pain that we feel in that moment, is not the pain of getting worse it's actually the pain of getting better.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because what that pain desires and needs more than anything is to be honored.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Now i've had so many clients, where they have this crying little child inside of them that they're at war with this child.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because they're like I don't want to feel that way I don't want to feel that way but meanwhile what happens that inner child screams and cries and throws temper tantrums and gets angry or and more insistent and more belligerent.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because that person has basically tried to suppress it and created a war and a struggle with it.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: here's the thing when we do that when we struggle with pain doing make the pain better no we make it worse.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because, then it pushes back so I call this the physics of emotion it pushes back.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's what it does, because it's an energy inside of us, so it pushes back, however, instead of pushing against it and resisting it or judging it or threatening it or hating it or ignoring it or whatever.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Instead, if you just let release the pressure and you honor it and you face it that's when the healing can happen.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When you can be present, with your pain and not judge it or criticize it or criticize yourself, for having it.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's not your fault that you're wounded it's not your fault that you have pain.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Nevertheless, as I often say it's not your fault that you're wounded, but it is your responsibility to heal for all the reasons that i've listed before about.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When we carry those wounds, you know, as I say, hurt people hurt people and we don't even realize how we're hurting other people, or even hurting ourselves from those place of those places of wounded and pain.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So the point is a lot of times we're scared to feel the feelings and yet that feeling those feelings can actually prove to be our salvation and prove to be where the healing really happens.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We are scared that we that will we're scared to let go of old stories and identities, as you face what's going on inside and do the real inner work, it means seeing those parts of you not seeing not.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Not for what you think they are, but what they actually are seeing them for what they actually are not what you think.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They are remember I talked about that monster inside and she thought of it as a monster, but the more we listened to it and honored at the more calm down and Sure enough, it was just a part of her that was just trying to.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Have its voice and it's advice heard and trying to protect her whatever way it new so it's all about.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's all about.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Sorry, I got distracted a little bit so in terms of this, you know the old stories and the old identities.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And facing what's inside it can actually mean seeing things as they are, as opposed to what they think they are which can also mean.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that some of the stories that we've carried as children, for example, some of the beliefs, that we formed, as a result of things that happened May.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Not some of them may absolutely true 100% like you were treated that way or this person did say this thing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: A lot of it can be true, but the main thing that we make out of it may may have made out of it when we were children may not actually turn out to be entirely true.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So sometimes it can mean some of that starts to dissolve another thing, too, is that a lot of times we can be very identified with our victim stance.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Not even realizing that we are and i'll tell you what when I first started doing, I would say really first started doing inner work was actually well before I discovered this.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This technique and these discoveries and it was back, and I would say 2001 and I remember, I was doing like energy healing and meditation and I just started really looking within for the first time in my life.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I discovered that that, as I was starting to face my own pain that it was bumping up against this idea that somehow.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Other people were responsible for my pain and I could blame them for my pain and that kept me in a victimized disempowered place.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And, as I, but as soon as I started to actually take responsibility for my own pain, it really it was scary it was hard, because it meant I had to go, you know what.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is my job to deal with this yes other people may have caused me pain or said certain things are done certain things that caused this pain to form within me.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But nevertheless this pain is still my responsibility, and that by blaming everybody else for my pain was not going to serve anyone, least of all me.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so I had to learn it wasn't an overnight thing but learn that you know what I that that that I could no longer hold on to.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: These victim mentalities that i've been carrying that put me in that disempowered position.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Now I am not saying that we're not victimized so to me there's a difference between yes we we can be victimized the differences, how much do we identify with that victimization how much of our identities, do we have.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: entangled, if you will, time to that sense of victimization and that idea that sense of our own disempowerment it's true that at that time let's say when we're children if someone victimized us.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's true that at that time, we may have been disempowered We may not have had the ability to really stand up for ourselves and protect ourselves, and that is 100% valid.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: At the same time, holding on to that story that identity while it may be comforting because it means you're not responsible, then right it's all their fault well that may be.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: comforting because it means that we can sort of sit in our little corner and say well it's their fault their fault, I feel this way because they did this to me.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And while there may be absolute valid reasons for that, ultimately, in terms of our own inner power and growth that is not the most empowering stance that is not the most empowering place to be.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The most empowering place to be is to own our own power part of owning our own power.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: has to do with facing our wounds facing our blocks or triggers our blind spots are walls that are getting in the way of US owning it.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so it requires from where I sit, it requires going to those dark places with those victimized children are those parts that are victimizing those children inside, you know the inner bullies etc.


00:22:02.190 --> 00:22:13.140

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And really honoring that pain and really allowing those parts to heal and feel validated and heard and to transform back into their original essence.


00:22:13.470 --> 00:22:26.400

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that rather than approaching the world a lot of times unconsciously approaching the world from this place of there's nothing I can do about it, and no matter what i'm going to get hurt and we're disappointed.


00:22:27.210 --> 00:22:37.470

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Instead, when we can heal those parts, we can start to see the world from a more empowered place from the from the point of view of possibility.


00:22:38.010 --> 00:22:49.290

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that not everything is just said and done, and and I have no power, I do have some power in every situation, and it could be very quite simply the power to change my mind.


00:22:49.530 --> 00:22:54.960

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The power to choose my perspective, it's like Nelson Mandela, you know talked about he was incarcerated.


00:22:55.380 --> 00:23:03.810

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But he what kept him going, my understanding is what kept him going through his incarceration was the poem invictus invictus in victim that's funny I said that.


00:23:04.560 --> 00:23:14.730

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: invictus I am the master of my I think it goes the end of it is i'm the master of my own fate i'm the master of my own soul, I probably botched that.


00:23:15.480 --> 00:23:25.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But it really is a statement of yes Okay, so I am in prison and, yes, there are these forces around me that I can't control, but I am still a master of myself.


00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:34.320

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's what it's about when we really go ahead and we let go with those old stories and those old identities that may have been.


00:23:34.860 --> 00:23:46.500

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: comforting and familiar to some extent, for many, many years in our work does but into that but ultimately that's where the that's where the power ultimately is.


00:23:46.770 --> 00:23:54.960

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is when we can say you know that's how I felt at the time that's who I thought I was, but I realized that's not really my Truth that's not really who I am.


00:23:55.710 --> 00:24:12.060

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But at the same time, as I said, honoring that that's it that can be a really difficult and painful journey to go on, because it does mean having to really let go of those of those of those beliefs and those identities that we really thought that we were okay.


00:24:13.800 --> 00:24:26.370

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Finally, well not quite finally scared that you'll truly change hmm that's another fear scare of really changing, and that also fits with fear of the unknown.


00:24:26.700 --> 00:24:37.770

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because if we've been a certain way, or we felt a certain way we've shown up a certain way in our lives and also Maybe other people have seen us that way and we start to do the inner work.


00:24:38.430 --> 00:24:48.750

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We start to see things differently, we start to behave differently, we start to respond to people differently, we saw you know things start to change we change.


00:24:49.290 --> 00:24:59.520

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Sometimes, what can happen is is that it unsettles not only our sense of ourselves, but it unsettles other people's perceptions of us.


00:24:59.970 --> 00:25:04.320

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And what comes to mind here is the drama triangle i'll probably do a whole show about the drama triangle, at some point.


00:25:04.590 --> 00:25:15.540

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But it's this triangle that talks about it's called cartman drama triangle and it's this triangle that talks about the different roles that people play in unhealthy relationships that are that are really unhealthy and disempowered.


00:25:15.900 --> 00:25:22.080

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the thing is if you've baby played one particular spot on that triangle you've played that role for a long time.


00:25:22.410 --> 00:25:32.910

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And you do the inner work and you actually stopped playing that role well guess what the other two might be like whoa what's going on, and they want to bring you back on that triangle, they want to bring you back into the drama.


00:25:33.330 --> 00:25:41.760

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so it can be hard to actually do that inner work, such that we change which changes, how we respond in the world, and how we show up.


00:25:42.060 --> 00:25:50.520

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then it can cause other people, you know it can cause other people to react to us differently, but my point is, though, it can be scary because you might even preemptively.


00:25:51.330 --> 00:25:59.400

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Like predict that you might already think i'm scared to change, because what if this happens, what if that happens, what if they think this way.


00:25:59.970 --> 00:26:04.590

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, etc, this sounds like a funny thing but i'll use a small example I remember when I.


00:26:05.250 --> 00:26:13.380

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: am not vegetarian or vegan now i've gone through phases, but there was a period years and years ago when I realized that for my health, I really wanted to stick to vegetarianism.


00:26:14.070 --> 00:26:22.950

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I remember it was it was what was actually hard about it wasn't so much like cutting out me it was more the social aspect of it, and obviously i'm not.


00:26:23.250 --> 00:26:27.900

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm not talking about like a deep inner emotions here, but really it didn't trigger some deep in our emotions.


00:26:28.170 --> 00:26:34.770

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Where I thought, oh no it's almost like it's going to change some of my rituals or my traditions with my family if I stopped eating meat.


00:26:35.070 --> 00:26:40.620

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm almost going to feel like not as much of a sense of connection because they'll all be eating meat and I won't be eating me.


00:26:41.070 --> 00:26:50.580

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so I had to go through a process with that too, luckily my family was supportive, I mean, I think, but to be honest with you, I think, at that point, they were sort of like oh here goes Emily again with another one.


00:26:52.680 --> 00:27:05.460

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But the point is I that was like that's kind of a smallish example of how even making a change in my diet triggered some of those fears and those that sense of almost grief of like oh it's.


00:27:06.210 --> 00:27:19.590

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: almost like letting go of a certain identity, I had before, or a certain you know activities that I used to share with other people so scared of change, fear of the unknown and then, finally, I want to say, fear of your own power.


00:27:21.120 --> 00:27:30.390

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Fear of your own power it's funny how we oftentimes think that what scares us is our our own pain or our own fears or our own.


00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:41.820

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know the the dis the uncomfortable stuff the painful stuff the triggering stuff that a lot of times we see it as like a real fear afraid of disappointment, which is a huge one.


00:27:42.270 --> 00:27:48.480

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But fear of your own power, and that is actually connected with that whole thing I was saying about identity with victimhood.


00:27:48.900 --> 00:27:54.090

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And having a victim mentality and and, by the way, it's amazing how we can have.


00:27:54.900 --> 00:28:06.360

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Not have victim mentality at all in certain areas of our lives and get have total victim mentality unconsciously in other areas of our life so that's something to remember to this isn't an all or nothing thing.


00:28:07.380 --> 00:28:18.150

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This can be in certain aspects of our lives, where it's like I feel fully empowered here i'm a strong woman, I am awesome I am you know i've achieved all these things, and yet in this area of my life.


00:28:18.600 --> 00:28:25.200

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I really feel like I don't have any power, I really feel victimized and hurt and I really feel like I can't make any changes.


00:28:26.010 --> 00:28:32.130

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or it's everybody else's fault and i'm just sitting here angry and upset about it anyway, the point is that.


00:28:32.910 --> 00:28:39.630

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: oftentimes as we start to address the fact that we've got these disempowered parts of us and really do that inner work.


00:28:40.050 --> 00:28:49.920

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What does start to rise to the surface is our own power and by the same token, as I said before about the fear of shining our own light because.


00:28:50.250 --> 00:28:54.450

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Maybe there are actually a few reasons I found why people are afraid of their own power, for one thing.


00:28:54.990 --> 00:29:05.670

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: there's the fear of shining your light stepping out there, expressing your power because you've been hurt attacked criticize disappointed, etc, in the past.


00:29:06.060 --> 00:29:14.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In those moments when you were shining your light or being your true self and so there's always that fear and there are those parts usually like the inner critics the Controllers.


00:29:14.370 --> 00:29:26.220

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But also the Woundeds that carry that fear of I don't want to do this because i'm afraid this is going to happen so that can be a big reason why we're scared of our own power, we can also be scared of our own power, however.


00:29:26.790 --> 00:29:37.530

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because, maybe there have been times when we have actually used our power thinking we're using it for good and thinking we're using it towards a good result.


00:29:38.220 --> 00:29:46.050

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And in some way or another, it backfired maybe something we tried to do for someone else actually had the opposite effect.


00:29:46.920 --> 00:29:56.730

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Maybe we spoke out in fact actually just worked with someone who like she said something to her parents when she was a child, and as a result, she thought.


00:29:57.180 --> 00:30:08.760

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That it was her fault that her parents got a divorce, so that can be another thing to where she where we can learn based on things we say or do that's coming from a place of Truth.


00:30:09.810 --> 00:30:21.540

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: can have certain effects ripple effects impacts, you know consequences results, etc, that can cause us to really go well, maybe I shouldn't do that anymore, maybe I shouldn't show.


00:30:22.440 --> 00:30:26.190

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: express my power or be in my power because I hurt people.


00:30:26.940 --> 00:30:33.510

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: With my power, and so there can be all that you know Those are just a few reasons why we can be scared of our own power because we're afraid.


00:30:33.840 --> 00:30:48.750

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That would actually backfire have bad results if we truly do express our own Truth and and really own our own power so Those are some of the reasons there are plenty of other reasons why we're afraid of doing the inner work.


00:30:50.070 --> 00:31:02.160

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And those are all it's valid I just really want to encourage you in this moment to really ask yourself, would I rather keep living with the pain of getting worse.


00:31:03.600 --> 00:31:07.440

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Or what I rather grow through the pain of getting better.


00:31:09.840 --> 00:31:22.320

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I can tell you, for myself, I would always rather face the pain, because I know that that is what will lead to growth and healing.


00:31:22.740 --> 00:31:29.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And me discovering the powers inside of me that I may not even realize were there.


00:31:29.730 --> 00:31:35.430

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That had been hiding in that darkness that have been caught in struggle and fear and pain and stress.


00:31:35.790 --> 00:31:46.470

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That, as I face that pain, as much as it hurts as much as they may cry and sob and feel terrible about myself in that moment, I know.


00:31:46.950 --> 00:31:57.570

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That, as I sit with that I do my inner work that ultimately i'm healing and as i'm healing i'm helping to heal humanity, I am.


00:31:58.080 --> 00:32:06.600

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Transforming my own darkness i'm helping to transform my own darkness back to light, so that I can be more fully present in the world.


00:32:06.900 --> 00:32:15.450

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Living my Truth and really, really shining my light and making the difference that I know i'm here to make from a place of health and wisdom.


00:32:15.870 --> 00:32:27.600

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and vulnerability to that's another thing too, I have to say, all of this requires when we talk about doing inner work, it requires vulnerability and a lot of times we can go vulnerability is somehow weakness but man.


00:32:28.710 --> 00:32:36.240

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Oh, is it not, and if you question that that's fine, but I highly recommend that you look at the the work of.


00:32:36.690 --> 00:32:47.520

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: renee brown if you haven't already, and also to watch her Ted talk the power of vulnerability because there really is so much power in being vulnerable.


00:32:47.970 --> 00:32:57.060

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it helps us to be fully wholehearted and I would say whole lighted holy lit fully lit up, if you will.


00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:12.420

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So I hope this is helpful, as always, please do join us in the change like Community where I teach you all of these techniques for how to clear all those struggles, I mean we're talking about doing inner work.


00:33:12.870 --> 00:33:21.780

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is what it's about I realize now that when Mike when I talked about in our work i'm mostly focusing on facing the yucky stuff the negative stuff the exPower is the darkness.


00:33:22.140 --> 00:33:36.240

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Obviously, inner work involves bringing forward more of your light as well tuning into those aspects of you that are here to empower you to live your Truth which I talked about in previous episodes of course we talked about and powers at length.


00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:52.290

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But obviously that's part of inner work to but, really, I would say that more of the inner work that's scary has to do with the exPowers and the struggles and all of the key darkness that we carry that we're so scared of really facing i'm telling you right now that.


00:33:53.340 --> 00:34:08.160

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well, the treasures, you will find are just immense and priceless and beautiful because you are immense and priceless and beautiful.


00:34:08.910 --> 00:34:25.920

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So please do join us in the Community Community change life dot world or you can just if you want to learn more about my work go to www dot ChangeLightdot world again, my name is Emily Thank you so much for being here, I love you and i'll see you next week.


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