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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | Why the Hurry?





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WWW TV: Hello, Hello! Sorry about that little technical difficulty. There. My name is Emily Eldredge. I am the creator of ChangeLight System, and the founder of ChangeLight, and the hosted to show Inner Work for Greater Good as always. I'm so happy to have you here. Thanks for coming. Um! I am going to cover something a little bit different today, only because this is more of an external thing that impacts how we feel on the inside. Obviously there are a lot of things that in


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WWW TV: practice, you know, that are outside of us. That impact how we feel on the inside. But this is something that I think is kind of pervasive, and I just want to bring this up as a way to for us to be more aware of. Um how we are allowing, I would say, like old in many cases, outdated, constructs um X. And impact us like have like how it causes us to react in certain ways that maybe we Haven't stopped and


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WWW TV: questioned those approaches, and really question whether or not this is right for me or not, and one of the reasons why we might not question is because we are so steeped in certain cultural norms or certain norms when it comes to work or family. I mean. There are all kinds of norms that may be familiar or seem normal, but they're really not, or they're just not healthy, like we have to look at


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WWW TV: some of these things that we take for granted that we assume this is the way it always is, or this is the way it always has to be, or that we have to adjust to the way the world is, or the way certain. You know families or communities, you know um


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WWW TV: operate or approach things uh with, you know we're so used to that. But you know it's It's still really important to step back and say, okay, that might work for them. Or maybe that's the way it's always been done. But does that work for me? Is that the way I want to live my life? And I think it's also really important to be constantly evaluating things for ourselves, because otherwise we can get kind of caught up in the


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WWW TV: you know, flow of the way things are going. Um, or we can also not really pay attention to those signals i'm always talking about like where those in inner signals. Um that are telling you that something doesn't feel right doesn't work for you, you know, if you're having an emotional reaction to certain things, or if you are um


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WWW TV: really having a breakdown, I mean, that's the thing I think the best thing we could do is like,


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WWW TV: Be aware enough so that we don't necessarily reach those breakdown points where we're really falling apart. Um! Where everything is, you know a mess before we finally take action, i'm a firm believer in constantly just being aware and evaluating and tuning in and uh, noticing whether something


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WWW TV: resonates for me or not before I necessarily espouse it. But what I'm actually talking about here today. I know I've done a lot of sort of exposition here or generalized thoughts. Um, but what i'm talking about here is something that a lot of us really are steeped in, and I would say, especially those of us in in the American culture, United States. Um, Western culture in general has a lot of this. Um, I it, and actually I should. I shouldn't generalize and say it's just Western. I mean, you could say that certain Asian cultures have this as well.


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WWW TV: But I just in in the in this kind of everywhere I go. Okay, I should just stop putting like, try to go. You know, sort of geographicalizing this necessarily, because you know, so much of our world is steeped in this. But that has to do with


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WWW TV: rushing,


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WWW TV: hurrying, approaching our work


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WWW TV: and basically our lives in a certain way. Now, here, I want to tell you why i'm even having this conversation with you, or even bringing this up. So I have a friend, dear friend, who posted on Facebook like about a week ago. You know she talks about how she's working really really hard, and that she she feels really strongly about really paying attention to detail and making sure she dots every eye and crosses every t um, and that she


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WWW TV: But the problem is that she gets really really stressed out. When things aren't done or they're not, they're not right. They are piling up, and that she and this is for her work. So in her work she's, and I know we're personally to she's constantly working. She rarely slows down, and she knows it's not good for her. It stresses her out. It makes her unhappy. It makes her sick. And in fact, this particular friend of mine went through where she was such a workaholic for all these years, and then finally she just so badly burned out that she,


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WWW TV: I said, I can't work. And she just stopped working for a while. Luckily she had enough money to be able to take a break for a couple of years, but in that time she went. She did stuff that brought her joy that really led her up. She traveled to cool countries, and really, just it was so healing for her. But now, you know she's kind of come back into the rat race, as they often call it, uh with uh working for a big company and having a lot of responsibilities. And um, and then taking on that stress and stressing


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WWW TV: out, you know, if things are done exactly right now without getting into sort of her history or her particular constitution. I've used that term before um or emotional, you know, wherever her particular emotional triggers are. Here's what I thought was interesting, because what happened? Was she actually asked questions. She goes, those of you who just let it go.


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WWW TV: How exactly do you do that?


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WWW TV: And I thought that was a great question, and it got a lot of really interesting answers. And there was one answer in particular that I thought, Okay, great, i'm So glad someone addressed this. So some people were saying, you know i'm a doctor, but what I do isn't life or death. So I remind myself, it's not life or death. You know a lot of other people said Um, you know I I realized that you know me working really hard is just making rich people richer, you know, and if there's so much work that should hire more people, you know, sort of interesting


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WWW TV: comments like that. Um, But here's what one woman said, and and um,


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WWW TV: she said. Really, she said, really internalizing and remembering that perfectionism, urgency, and worship of the written word, our pillars of white supremacy culture. This she said, knowing this, remembering this has helped me so much.


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WWW TV: Then she goes on,


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WWW TV: though, and she talks about trying to see, actually where did it go.


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WWW TV: But basically she she talks about in terms of white supremacy culture. Okay, So that's a whole other conversation that that's not the point of what I'm saying, although Okay, I know. I'm rambling. Um,


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WWW TV: here's what I wrote. In response to that I said, This is a really good point, because I saw that she was getting to. She was pointing out that it's actually a kind of cultural thing that we tend to be steeped in. That causes us to stress


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WWW TV: that causes us to feel like we have to get everything right, but we have to hurry, you know. It's all on deadline, and it creates all of this pain and stress and strain, and burn out, and unhealth and dissease inside of us. And yet so many of us do this, and are pressure to do this, and are expected to be this way without kind of going. Wait a minute. Hold on


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WWW TV: like does this work for me, and I I get it. I understand. Sometimes there are certain practical realities like Yes, we have to put food on the table. We have to make enough money to support ourselves and the people we love. So i'm not. My point, though, is that


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WWW TV: even in the midst of all that have we ever sat back? You know How often do you sit back and wait a minute. Is this working for me, and to even consider that, you know. Maybe it could mean staying in the same job. But you do it in a different way, or what have you? That's a whole other conversation. But what I said in responses


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WWW TV: this is a really good point and something. I've reminded myself of too true story that all of the rush, stress, pressure, anxiety of our society is manufactured literally and figuratively


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WWW TV: manufactured literally and figuratively, it's sorry the s nature


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WWW TV: isn't hurrying us up or put putting pressure on us. We or others are.


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WWW TV: It's all a sick construct by which we've been toxified usually. Yes, just to help someone else make a lot more money. Of course it's to help ourselves make more money. But I also thought That was a good point, in other words, that sometimes, especially if you're working in a big company or organization, or you look for them, you know, with with your with your consultant, or what have you There's all these stressors, all this pressure. There's all this. Hurry up and go. There's all this. We gotta get it done. Now,


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WWW TV: how often do you sit back and go?


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WWW TV: Is it really?


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WWW TV: Is that true?


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WWW TV: Do I really have to get it done that quickly?


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WWW TV: So we really need to be moving this fast and in our bigger way. Why are we moving so fast? Why are we stressing out so much? Now? I understand our ancestors had to stress to a certain extent to survive. If you ever watch the Tv show alone.


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WWW TV: Oh, my God! Like in that! In those cases you've got people in the wild by themselves. No one else is there to help them. No one else is going to help them survive. Obviously they can call a a emergency, but then they're out of the running for the big prize money. But the point is they are alone, and so historically, in terms of our civilization and humans.


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WWW TV: Usually we have stayed in tribes. We've stayed in families, and we've been able to make things happen together. So that is a big way that we have survived is by being in those collective and doing. You know, this person's really good at doing this. So they do that, you know, or you know, the whole sort of concept of barn raising, and how you know the old days people used to do barn raising for each other. They'd come together because one farmer, you know,


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WWW TV: uh, can't necessarily build a farm by himself, or it would take a lot longer, so it's easier to do things as a group, and at the same time, as I say that it's often one of the big reasons why it can be hard to question what the group is doing to go a different way, because we are so genetically, historically, et cetera, you know, designed to be a part of a group.


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WWW TV: But in this case it's really questioning that our society has evolved in a certain way. So yes, you know, nature is, you know, does what it does, whether it doesn't care what we think Nature does what it does. A hurricane is going to come along, and it can threaten our survival. And so Yes, we have to batten down the hatches, and we have to, you know. Get our munitions together. We have to make sure we survive through that. So Our ancestors, of course, had to do that, too.


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WWW TV: And so there's a certain amount of stress just that's innate with living on this planet. And so, of course, you know. Historically, our ancestors have a lot of stress in terms of, you know, having to survive. Um!


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WWW TV: But at this point Um!


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WWW TV: There's more. I would say that there's another layer.


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WWW TV: There are many layers on top of that, because the truth is, when a community is working together, and when people are really supporting each other. It's a lot less stress, right? Because you feel less alone. You feel less scared. You know that people have your back, you know you have their back. You have a sense of purpose and belonging that word that a lot of people use the work that I've heard. Brene Brown use that word a lot, you know, belonging that we feel connected, and we feel much safer.


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WWW TV: Um, But you kinda ask yourself, though


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WWW TV: we've got like in terms of


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WWW TV: the world. I don't know if I want to get quite this big, but the world as a whole.


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WWW TV: In general there are a lot of people suffering, and there are a lot of people starving. I am not denying that. But civilization, More people are living a higher standard have a higher living standard than I think, any time in history. I believe that's actually what's shown by people who study these things. And yet there's still this that we got to go faster. We got it. There's all this stress and all this competition,


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WWW TV: and what I really appreciated about this woman making this point, and why I echo her sentiments, but in a little bit different way is that she basically said, All this stress, this pressure, this anxiety that our friend is feeling, and that, you know she's putting on herself, or she's absorbing, you know. Maybe from the company she works for. Then it's artificial.


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WWW TV: It's a construct that if you really strip all that away. Is Nature really like like what's left nature and humans? And


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WWW TV: and we're trying to survive. But the reality is like,


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WWW TV: Is it nature, or like the spirit world, whatever your beliefs are, Is there Are they the ones? Where is this pressure coming from? Really?


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WWW TV: Where is the stress we're coming from? Where are the causes of that stress coming from? Really


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WWW TV: And the more you look at it the more you realize, you know what


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WWW TV: Yeah, this is. Bs.


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WWW TV: that.


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WWW TV: But so much of what we unconsciously do, and how we live our lives in that cause, a stress so much of that is manufactured and imposed on us, and we've been steeped in it


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WWW TV: two.


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WWW TV: Why, usually to make more money, usually to compete with someone else and try to win in some kind of competition against some other company, or whatever. Sometimes it is to try to save the world right, I mean, or or to to try to make a difference. But, as I'm always saying in terms of If you really want to have a positive impact on the world,


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WWW TV: you got to take care of yourself, and part of that taking care of yourself is questioning


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WWW TV: how you're going about things and questioning where that's coming from, and why that's there. And often. What I usually focus on is the inner triggers or the rooms from childhood, and all those other things that cause us to behave and react in certain ways, or that fuel those things. But in this case it's more about looking at. Well, how is this society or the community, and all of their sort of attitudes about work or about, You know, a woman's role, or any of these other things.


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WWW TV: How much are these just artificial constructs that aren't necessary? And not only are they not necessary, they're toxic,


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WWW TV: they're wounding, they're hurtful. They're painful. They're also counter productive, because if we are in constant competition with our fellow human beings. Then we're not in collaboration. And when someone using the term, you know, using this analogy of a barn raising in bond raising, I mean, look. I've never done bond raising, and I don't know about the culture of bond raising. But let's just say maybe there might have been some fun competition between. You know the different builders. We're building one


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all versus another wall than trying to do it the best way they could, or that I don't know. Maybe there was some healthy fun competition, but ultimately,


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WWW TV: ultimately, what is it about? It's about collaboration. It's about community.


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WWW TV: It's about support, and while there is some pressure to build that um, you know. Raise that bar for the sake of that family that's going to need it and use it now, maybe before the winter hits and stuff. Sure there are some built in pressures and timing that nature in general does,


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WWW TV: you know, create, or that we have to deal with.


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WWW TV: But on a day to day basis, and even in terms of the way we have allowed a You know where, how society has evolved


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WWW TV: so much of It is artificial,


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WWW TV: it is anti beneficial,


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WWW TV: and it is disease causing. It is sickening. It is toxic. It is not healthy, and it's contrary to the way a lot of us are made,


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WWW TV: I mean, why do you think there's so many like meditation programs and mindfulness programs, and like floor programs where you can slow down and relax, because people are going too fast faster than most of us are designed for. There are some people who move fast, and that's great,


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WWW TV: but they shouldn't expect everybody else to move just as fast as someone else who was slower should necessarily expect everybody else to move just as slow. But there needs to be a healthy balance in consideration for the needs of the self


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WWW TV: as we go through lives, and we're in these different environments. And in these, you know, in our own society, or family, or community, or what have you? But I mean really the the nature of my comment. The other one was about the societies we're living in, and how um you know she called it white supremacist, I mean.


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WWW TV: I mean, I would agree with her that Yes,


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WWW TV: white supremacy is


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WWW TV: creating a lot of problems. Let's put it that way. White male, dominant supremacy or not, only use it for supremacy. Sorry, but white male domination, and that is nothing against white men. That is just historically. That is the reality that that is, you know. For the most part they've been like the dominant group. Um, But again, that also gives us that opportunity. Not It's not about vilifying or demonizing what it's saying. Okay. So


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WWW TV: you know a lot of our societies have have grown, you know, have sort of evolved into this, or become like this.


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WWW TV: Is that really what we want? A society as a community. Is that really what's healthy and what's helpful?


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WWW TV: And I would argue that for most of us no,


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WWW TV: that it is not healthy.


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WWW TV: And so that is where, when it comes to inner work,


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WWW TV: it really is about going.


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WWW TV: Okay. So that's the way the rest of the world news, or that's the way, you know, or this is the way I've been trying to do it to sort of fit in with this company or the society or this environment. But is this really right for me,


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WWW TV: and also is this, I mean, Is this healthy?


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WWW TV: Is it healthy?


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WWW TV: And to consider how much those external bigger


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WWW TV: issue factors that that you're steeped in. You know how much of that have you sort, and allowed to impact how you show up in the world for the decisions you make, or even some of your own goals, because sometimes we can set goals and visions and deadlines whatever for ourselves


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WWW TV: that ultimately may actually not feel right. It may be because we think we have to finish something in a certain amount of time, or maybe because we think we have to show up a certain way in a meeting, because this is,


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WWW TV: and it's just not healthy. And you know I know that i'm mostly speaking to women here and men. I really appreciate that you're here as well as to a lot of men as well. But you know there's a lot, you know. There, there's something to be said, for also the different ways that our bodies, our bodies, are built,


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WWW TV: and that is how vital and important it is for us to honor the way we are are uniquely built, so that we can design the lives that we desire that help us feel how we want to feel, not by someone else's standards, not by someone Else's pressures, not by someone else's timeline, but our own.


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WWW TV: That is where the piece is in knowing your own timeline, your own compass, your own truth,


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WWW TV: your own well being what serves you and feels good for you, because I always say when you heal you kill the world. So by doing that you help me have an impact and make a difference in creating a healthier community, society, family, world


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WWW TV: for us all. I hope this has been really helpful. I hope this is really gotten your real turning, and I was always, If you have any questions, you can email me, Emily. A Uh please join our community, which actually, I like you saying we're going to be making some big changes, and we've got it. We have a deadline for ourselves, but we said it, but I say we, it's my teammate and i'm allu, and we set it for ourselves, because this is what feels right,


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WWW TV: but we do have a deadline for ourselves, and we are excited. I'll I'll probably update you once we're a little further along, but we're going to be


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WWW TV: creating some amazing things and releasing some really amazing things out into the world. So I hope that you will join us and be a part of it. Okay. And now for me. Thank you so much. I hope you have a great week, and I will talk to you next week.


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