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  • Writer's pictureEmily Eldredge

📺 IWFGG | The 3 exPower Types: Controllers




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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: hello, and welcome to Inner Work for Greater Good, my name is Emily Eldredge I am the founder of ChangeLight.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the creator of the ChangeLight System where I teach change makers, how to do their inner work.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That accelerates their power to change the world there are a lot of reasons why I do this work, I know, sometimes I repeat myself on this, but I think it's really, really important to really.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: emphasize the importance of inner work when it comes to making a difference in the world, especially since.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: A lot of times as change makers, we think we can just charge out there and.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know fulfill our mission and try to make a difference, but what i've actually found in my work with change makers is that every time i've shared my.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: My work in with audiences of change makers and I shared it all over the world, I always have changed makers who come to me afterwards.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And they say oh my gosh I never realized how much I was struggling with X, Y or Z or oh my gosh I have so much trauma from this situation in my life, and I really need your help.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's where I realized, you know that a lot of people really are they it's one thing to have a vision and have an idea and have a mission and say, this is the purpose i'm here to serve.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But it's another thing entirely to really feel that inner freedom and clarity and just just feeling so unencumbered.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And to let that drive that's coming through to really truly empower you to make a difference, without the insecurities.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the inner blocks or the triggers or even the inner saboteurs a lot of us have these.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Inner saboteurs that get in the way, so no matter how strong our driver our vision is those inner saboteurs can really cause some problems and make it really, really hard.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: To make a difference in the highest way possible so that's what i'm all about, and also my my ultimate mission is to by teaching change makers Inner Work for Greater Good.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is to accelerate the healing of humanity in our planet, because, as I often say that really our issues when it comes to our planet, or when it comes to societies is because we as human beings are wounded.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then we project those wounds outwards and you know with our defenses and all kinds of things and so that's where it's about with we do the inner work and especially those of us who are change makers.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Who are driven to make a positive difference in the world, especially us it's really, really important that we are as whole and as healthy and as free and empowered and as light.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: as possible from the inside, in order to truly affect that change in order to, as is often said.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Be that change, we wish to see in the world and that's partly where my name the company name comes from change like.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: To be the light of change that our world so desperately needs so that's what i'm all about here and i'm so glad you're here and excited that you're here for another episode.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because right now we're in a series actually before I do that i'm just going to show you here's the.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: My website, I always like to show this, I have a course I have a community, I have a VIP coaching program I speak professionally, as you can see i've been seen it.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: places all over the world world marriage United Nations UK parliament tedx i've done to tedx is actually one of which was the first tedx in a prison spent.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: quite a bit of time working with prisoners with inmates and so actually the the work that I teach is.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: A lot of it has been taught to inmate so it's kind of fun stuff and I really love working with inmates quite frankly.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: As well as change makers and actually there are a lot of inmates that are change makers in their own ways you'd be surprised so anyway change like Inner Work for Greater Good in this series i've been discussing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What I call inner exPower, so the ChangeLight System is all about clearing out your inner struggles bringing forward your innate in our powers and honoring those.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then, as you do some that's how we uncover this Guiding Star, which is the vision, you have a new fully living your truth and your truth is what we're after here.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You have a truth, I have a truth we all have a truth that we were born to live and so that's really what the ChangeLight System is about with a very, very simple approach.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for clearing out all the month that gets in the way and bringing for those powers so that you can fully and completely live your truth actualize your truth.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And for those of us who are change makers a big part of our truth is.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: positively impacting the world and we have different ways that we do it, so in this series i'm covering the exPower so if you haven't seen the previous one, which was about your inner Defenders.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I highly recommend it um so i'm going to send her Controllers and then we did this we'll see but the point is this is exPowers are basically the parts of you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's actually I should explain this is the name that I give.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I made up this word, just so you know, in case you're like i've never heard this word before it will of course you ever heard this word, because I made it up so.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And there are a bunch of reasons why, but the point is exPowers are those parts of you that are stuck.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In chronic states of stress we activity or pain, they are your subconscious unhealed wounds and defenses as i've said before exPowers have a lot of other names for them, you know you call them in our blocks wounds triggers blind spots.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, some people call them inner demons it but, basically, they are what's at the core of our when we feel that inner struggle, or when we notice ourselves having a certain trigger reaction.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Maybe it's a certain reaction to certain types of people or a specific people are in certain situations or you know, maybe we.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, it could be a fear reaction, or it could be an aggressive reaction.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The point is that these are the things that basically are controlling us in our subconscious and sometimes we're even conscious of them, but the point is.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They are what's working in the background, there, like the my mother likes to say that there's sort of like the you see the desktop on a computer.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But really you know the files and folders you see on the desktop or not really the workings of the computer they're just what we're seeing and so these exPowers of the parts.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that make up sometimes the stuff that's going on inside that we may not see and yet as we're working with our computer we run into issues we've been.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: glitches our it goes a lot slower than we'd like it to or keep shutting down in weird ways.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So you know, to use that analogy, which I think is a pretty darn good analogy to think of us, you know that we are sort of filled with these programs.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And some of them are really positive and wonderful, then they support us and fulfilling our missions and and making a difference in the world and showing up as we desire, but then, some of them get in the way.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And that's what these exPowers are I call them exPowers, because they feel like they work against your power they feel like they work against.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Really, who are you here who you are here to be what you're here to do and and make it hard to fulfill that mission that we have as a changemaker so.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And also that cause you to react in certain ways that are not necessarily helpful or healthy in your journey to make a difference.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So we've in the last one I talked about your inner Defender So if you haven't seen that go ahead and watch that because Defenders are really actually all of the Expo types really incredibly fascinating.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But Defenders of course you know, have their own unique traits and their own unique ways that they cause us to react to that they react to situations.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Next we're going to enter excuse me in our Controllers, this is the second type of exPower, I want to talk about.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And they're quite different from Defenders but here's what we're going to talk about when it comes to Controllers so Controllers are so, what are your inner Controllers.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: out what are they trying to do, and why should we heal them, I often say you might be kind of like well why would why wouldn't I want to hear my inner Controllers but.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I find that this is a good question to ask because it helps us really recognize how they really do in practice in ways that we don't know but also how R exPowers.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: have certain hidden wonderful blessings about them, that when we feel them we reveal those blessings and this really cool powers that we have so.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What our inner controls so inner Controllers are they come across in a lot of different ways, whereas Defenders come across mostly and like three different ways.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Controllers can come across in a lot of different ways and here are just some of them so you're very typical Controller is critical.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Attacking blaming or shaming some way or another, putting you down or putting another part of you down and, mind you, I want to reinforce.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is what's going on inside Okay, there are plenty of people who we see who behave this way on the outside and you might be like Oh, I know a Controller.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: True absolutely and they probably have some Controller energies and them exPowers in them.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But really we're talking about what's going on inside of you what's going on inside of other people, which may or may not be expressed on the outside and that's One of the interesting things about.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: These inner dynamics and how we tend to struggle with them and how we tend to try to deal with them, not always in healthy ways.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So they get one type of Controllers critical attacking blaming and shaming, this is your classic Controller, which is an inner critic.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So when people talk about an inner critic I would say 99% of the time.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's an inner Controller, occasionally, it can be another type of exPower but there's a reason why that other exPower type can act this way but that's really not what it's sort of foundational thing is all about.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So critical attacking blaming shaming also pushy and pressuring so it might be like a part of you that's pushing you to succeed, are pushing you to take a certain action or pushing you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: To be a certain way act a certain way or pressuring you in ways the other sort of type that sort of the point is is like a Controller can be both.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Either either push you're pressuring or it can be suppressive and oppressive So if you think about it energetically it's like a Controller can be like.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Pushing you're pushing a part of you trying to get you to be a certain way to do a certain thing, but at the same time, there can be.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There can also be Controllers they're actually trying to suppress view and oprah and stop you from doing things and try to make you smile, and that they can use criticism and shaming and blaming.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in different ways, so you may notice actually these two different types of inner Controllers and you, you may be like Oh, I definitely have an inner Controller.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's telling me that i'm worthless and then i've never amounted to anything and then i'm a failure and I never going to accomplish anything in my life.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And that I should just give up now, and I would say that's more of a so suppressive oppressive type of inner Controller.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But then there can be the other type that's like well you know you better do this, or else they're all going to make fun of you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Or you know you, you know remember you screwed up last time, so you better put everything into it this time, and so it can use that criticism or that shaming or that you know negative.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: negative messages to try to push you to do better, so those are sort of the different types of Controllers right there there can also be the Controllers can also be very fear mongering.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: doubting and undermining, and so it might be a type of inner Controller, that it may not be like oh you suck in your terrible and you're fat you're ugly and you're this you're that and just you know, like this barrage of criticism, it may be more sort of.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: sinister and subtle kind of under the surface kind of like that Controllers basically saying like well you know.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Remember the last time you did that I don't know even like it, that much so, you know you better, not a better father or it might be a message of like.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well, it, you know, in other words it's it's this it could be this voice and, and the reason why I can even use this voice is because i've had those drillers inside of me before where they were basically.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, and so it's not sort of saying you know you're terrible and awful it's more just trying to undermine your sense of confidence in yourself in your ability to do something or achieve a certain thing or come across a certain way.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's another type of inner Controller those can be like really it can be really subtle like sometimes i've done so much.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: healing of my own, you know interact powers, but you know I still sometimes we'll have an x power that pops up and sometimes that can be one of them works is, this is a little voice.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So, finally, the final type of Controller is can be very diverting and distracting and so when I work with my clients part of what I do and i'll talk about the Drawing Out Process.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But part of that growing up process is I actually talked to these inner exPowers, and I find out what's really going on with them that's how I even learned any of this stuff.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is through my work and through working with people, and it was really the powers that taught me the truth about themselves.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so i've had you know i've worked with exPowers where I will say, well, why do you feel the need to you know make that person super super busy you know or get them.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, whatever just like sort of be them make them really busy and avoiding their own emotions and they'll say well because i'm trying to distract them from how they feel.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because I don't want them to feel bad and so i'm trying to keep them from doing.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's another way that a Controller will try to control you or even a part of you try to get you to stop feeling certain feelings, because it associates those feelings with something bad or with you, you.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know screwing up and it doesn't want you to screw up against what's like well we better not let her or him feel that way again, because then it might result in some bad things again and then they'll get criticized by other people.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: which actually leads to what is it the Controllers are actually trying to do this is where.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Controllers and really exPowers in general are really fascinating because, on the surface.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They show up a certain way, and you know we may think well well that Controller or that inner critic is just you know telling me that i'm horrible and I suck and I failed at everything because it wants to hurt me and because of hates me and because you know it wants me to fail at everything.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And that's The interesting thing and that's actually one of the biggest most eye opening things for me when it came to learning the truth about my own inner exPowers is I developed all this work, because I developed the change like system.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I, and I share a bit about that, and one of my previous episodes because this came out of my own work, and when I realized that actually the spinner.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: exPowers that I was dealing with that the way they were coming across on the surface was actually.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Like that the reality below the surface of what they were actually trying to do was different it was just like oh my gosh.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And, oh no wonder, my fighting with them doesn't work because you know these exPowers and Controllers we'll talk about this in just a second.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: are really just trying they're actually.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What they're doing is actually different from what they're trying to do, like the impact they have on us is very different from what their intentions are so that's something really important to remember.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: About exPowers about our inner struggles and these books and triggers and wounds and all these things that we struggle us and that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: We struggle with and that cause us to behave in ways that may or may not be so happy about, but anyway So what is it the Controllers, as opposed to the other two types of exPowers, what are they trying to do.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well, for one thing, some Controllers are trying to keep you small.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that you won't risk getting criticized and hurt so remember I described that Controller type that was very critical and shaming and suppressive and oppressive.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Trying to keep you small because it's afraid that if you actually you know expand or shine your light or you're big in the world, or you, you know really show up fully against yourself.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That someone's going to criticize you someone's going to attack you someone's going to undermine you someone's going to tear you down someone's going to find something wrong with you and then what's going to happen you're going to feel hurt.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's what Controllers are ultimately trying to protect.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: us from his pain, just like Defenders where, if you watch the previous episode Defenders are also trying to protect us from pain in some way or another.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is how Controller spread to protect us from pain, so, while Defenders are all about pushing the pain away or trying to block that pain, or even internally block us from our own pain Controllers are are all about trying to.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: change or mitigate change that source of pain or change us so that we won't experience that pain again so it's like Defenders are blocking and Controllers are all about trying to change.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: US are part of us so that we won't get hurt again so classic inner critic that tells you you're not good enough and, basically, you should give up right now and tries to make you feel small.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That is what the Controller is trying to do is they're actually trying to prevent you from risking getting criticized and hurt.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why because they've seen you criticize and hurt again and they don't want that don't want you to her.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So another thing that Controllers are trying to do is to push you to feel stronger and succeed, so that.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You won't feel mediocre embarrassed and or rejected so that other type of Controller that's all about pushing and you need to do this, you need to achieve this thing, and you need to prove yourself or.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know you got to prove all them wrong or you know just any type of inner Controller that's actually pushing us that's trying to get us to be bigger but say we're trying to get us to do more.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's often because they seen us experience those feelings of insecurity and weakness or failure, you know, maybe.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When we were, I mean really it's like when we were children and there were maybe you're five years old and you had a test that you had to take.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And you know not not the five year olds usually take tests, but maybe there was something that happened in which you felt like you failed at something or maybe teacher made you feel bad so you might have an inner Controller.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That developed to try to keep you from feeling that way again that pushed you to try to see to push you to try to prove yourself to other people, so that you wouldn't feel mediocre embarrassed or rejected.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that's how another type of Controller what it's often trying to do.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And by the way, as I share all of these things I hope you're sort of noticing these energies inside of you and noticing these types of inner struggles that you have or.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: These types of voices that you might have in your head or these you know you might feel a pressure is inside or you know just any sort of senses.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: be aware of anything in your body when your heart and mind that relates to these things.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So then finally Controllers what they're ultimately trying to do, or what some of them are ultimately trying to do is to give you a feeling of control.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In situations that make you feel out of control, so.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What are what our Controllers what now, as I explained the extra hours were all in the previous episode the X flowers were all named according to their primary behaviors so Defenders are all about defending and putting up defenses and blocking.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Controllers, the other direction control change manipulate move around, whatever it is mitigates and that's what Controllers are trying to do.


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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because what they like is control what they're all about is trying to control and get things to be a certain way or get you to be a certain way.


00:20:47.880 --> 00:20:54.960

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Again, because they're trying to protect you from getting criticized or feeling embarrassed or feeling out of control.


00:20:55.470 --> 00:21:03.390

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know what comes to mind is I think about this it's sort of like and you see it as sometimes like when someone let's say you have a family member who's dying.


00:21:03.990 --> 00:21:08.190

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And everybody deals with those situations differently so you might have someone who is.


00:21:08.460 --> 00:21:15.300

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: A member of the family who goes to that person who's dying and is there and comforts them is really present with them emotionally and just.


00:21:15.510 --> 00:21:28.320

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: accepts this is what's going on, you know and it's just just once that person's last few hours or days of their life to be you know cut to for them to feel comforted and taken care of and to to really.


00:21:29.070 --> 00:21:37.410

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: maximize their presence with that with that person who's dying, but then you also have a lot of families there will be that person who will certainly try to go into.


00:21:37.830 --> 00:21:44.850

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: we're going to try to control everything right it's like for we've got to get this work that we've got to get that work done let's make sure we thought this and they you know.


00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:55.560

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or or fluffing pillows and it's all this, maybe this activity and so that's what you see on the outside, so what might be happening on the inside, I say my only because.


00:21:56.790 --> 00:22:05.670

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: External behaviors don't always directly correlate with internal behaviors but probably in a situation like this you've got that person has a very powerful inner Controller.


00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:13.410

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: who's causing them to feel like they need to control, whatever they can control in a situation that is so completely.


00:22:13.980 --> 00:22:23.370

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Out of their control when someone is dying whether it's because they've been sick or they something happened they had an accident and there's a lot that we can't control.


00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:35.490

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, sometimes you'll have that person and maybe you're that person and i've been that person sometimes where i'm like well here just do this or try this or well i'm just going to take care of that and a lot of times that's because that inner Controller.


00:22:36.180 --> 00:22:41.610

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: recognizes that you feel out of control and it feels out of control and so it's trying to we're.


00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:52.110

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Trying to give you a sense of control, because the feeling of being out of control is painful again Controller is just like this, you know the Defenders are just trying to protect us from those feelings.


00:22:52.650 --> 00:23:04.020

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: from any of those you know any feelings that are uncomfortable or painful because they don't want us to hurt and so that's oftentimes what this type of Controller, you know that's one example of like where when that type of Controller will show up.


00:23:05.190 --> 00:23:13.290

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So, finally, why heal your inner Controllers Well, quite frankly, obviously, because they make you feel bad right.


00:23:13.620 --> 00:23:24.180

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because they make you feel criticized and unacceptable so while Controllers intentions may be good, you know they're trying to protect us from these feelings so they're trying to keep us from feeling.


00:23:24.420 --> 00:23:30.120

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: mediocre criticized or change or any of those things but reality is that's how they make us feel.


00:23:30.660 --> 00:23:39.510

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And that's what's also very interesting about exPowers is that and actually Controllers, in particular, is there, so it's very counterintuitive it's like.


00:23:39.780 --> 00:23:47.040

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, here they are acting one way and then, when I talked to that person's in our Controller and they'll say, well, I just don't want her to feel hurt or criticize.


00:23:47.370 --> 00:23:52.050

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And i'll say well you know that's really interesting i'll say this to the Controller when I do the Drawing Out Process i'll say.


00:23:52.740 --> 00:24:01.950

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's kind of interesting because actually what i'm hearing from her is that what you're doing and saying is actually making her feel criticized.


00:24:02.820 --> 00:24:10.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, then that Controller that extra will have like sudden awakening and be like oh my gosh I had no idea.


00:24:10.830 --> 00:24:24.180

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Oh no i'm so sorry I didn't realize that so it's this interesting thing where exPowers and Controllers, I think, especially will have certain behaviors that they've done for so long because, at some point.


00:24:24.510 --> 00:24:30.660

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It was protecting you that behavior that trying to tamp down may have been protecting you and a very critical environment.


00:24:31.170 --> 00:24:35.340

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But they don't realize that actually their methods are now backfiring.


00:24:35.610 --> 00:24:39.810

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That, rather than protecting you from criticism they're actually making you feel for the size.


00:24:39.990 --> 00:24:47.220

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: they're making you feel small they're making you feel mediocre you're making you feel not good enough they're making you feel.


00:24:47.370 --> 00:25:00.660

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: out of control, because they're trying to control everything so in a way they're like controlling you we can which can make you feel like you're out of control, like this part of us just taking over so notice how it's like it's this wonderful.


00:25:00.990 --> 00:25:04.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: paradox not wonderful because it can be really painful.


00:25:04.470 --> 00:25:11.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But I just think it's really fascinating and it's a really important paradox to recognize, because if you've got these parts of you.


00:25:11.250 --> 00:25:20.640

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That you notice, and you know that they're causing you pain and they're causing me to behave certain ways feel certain ways or they're doing certain things to you or parts of you like that inner critic.


00:25:21.030 --> 00:25:33.930

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: To understand that if their intentions are different from their impact, but this is why one of the big reasons why it's so important it's got to heal them because their methods aren't working they're actually causing you to feel criticized and unacceptable.


00:25:34.950 --> 00:25:42.120

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Also, they make you feel like you're never enough, as I mentioned, they can actually make you feel small the ones that are trying to push you to succeed and.


00:25:42.330 --> 00:25:51.510

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: make a difference, or prove yourself, ultimately, the pushing can be so extreme and the lot of times they can be very critical and shaming to try to get you to do more.


00:25:51.900 --> 00:25:59.430

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That ultimately you end up feeling worse you don't feel like a success, you do feel like a failure because you feel like you've never met.


00:25:59.730 --> 00:26:03.570

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The expectations of the pressures of that control and I can't tell you.


00:26:03.930 --> 00:26:13.320

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: How many people i've worked with who are so successful, and if you saw that on the outside you'd be like wow this person is amazing and look at what a difference, they make it.


00:26:13.620 --> 00:26:20.100

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Look at how they you know they're running this company or this foundation or what have you and they're just so amazing and they have it so to cover.


00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:29.460

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But when I work with them and rediscover oftentimes there can be an inner Controller in there that's pushing them to do all of this stuff and they will tell me.


00:26:30.330 --> 00:26:38.940

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It doesn't matter how much I do it doesn't matter how much I succeed it doesn't matter how many awards I get I still feel like a failure, I still feel like i've never done enough.


00:26:39.930 --> 00:26:46.320

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And a lot of times it's because they've got that inner Controller that keeps reinforcing that message for them.


00:26:47.790 --> 00:26:51.990

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They make you feel unsafe in your own skin I described how that Controller.


00:26:52.290 --> 00:27:00.960

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: can end up controlling us and taking control over us or causing us to feel worse about ourselves, and so that's ultimately you know when it comes to my work.


00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:12.570

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And what I found when it comes to exPowers of exPowers form as a result of any sense of safety that we've experienced in our lives, so we have this moment where we feel unsafe.


00:27:13.110 --> 00:27:21.300

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: almost always or I don't know like odds here, but the point is that a part of US forms that carries that sense of safety.


00:27:21.810 --> 00:27:34.770

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that's what it's about is that when we have these expires, then we feel unsafe in our own skin so that's why it's absolutely vital to heal these parts, so that we can feel stronger and more empowered.


00:27:35.280 --> 00:27:40.770

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: In every situation and not as easily triggered and not as easily wounded.


00:27:41.130 --> 00:27:58.560

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: As I often say, no one can punch your buttons unless you have the buttons to punch so these buttons are these exPowers to heal the exPowers to clear those buttons you feel stronger and amazing and course as change makers, then we can make a bigger difference in the world.


00:27:59.910 --> 00:28:04.380

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Finally, they hold immense untapped inner power, I think this is something.


00:28:04.980 --> 00:28:10.830

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is one of my biggest messages is that those things that were struggling with inside of us that we think are bad or weak.


00:28:11.100 --> 00:28:21.060

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or shameful or dark or things that we need to reject or that we're scared of we don't know what to do with the truth is one of the big reasons why call them exPowers.


00:28:21.540 --> 00:28:28.680

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: These because they are former parts of our power, and this is what i've discovered through my work.


00:28:29.040 --> 00:28:39.720

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Which is the drawing up processes, the main technique that I do what happens is we draw out that part meaning, I have the person literally draw out that part of them.


00:28:40.080 --> 00:28:48.690

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then, I have a conversation with it and we find out what exactly is going on there, why is that part of the behaving that way thinking that we feeling that way.


00:28:49.140 --> 00:28:58.950

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, then take it through the rest of the program so it transforms so within two hours really or less to three hours or less, we can permanently feel.


00:28:59.250 --> 00:29:02.910

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That inner critic and that's a big reason I just want you to know that's why I like.


00:29:03.420 --> 00:29:10.980

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Sharing all this information about these X prototypes so you can understand that do you get to a D mystifies them so you're like oh.


00:29:11.280 --> 00:29:24.120

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Actually Why am I so scared that inner critic when really if I know what it's really about, I know I can learn how to work with it, I can not be so scared of it until the drawing our process is that process that I developed it permanently.


00:29:24.660 --> 00:29:31.620

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I need it permanently transforms, for example, that in our Controller that inner critic back to its original essence.


00:29:31.950 --> 00:29:45.690

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: back to its m power essence we're talking about emPowers in later episodes but it transforms it so that rather than working against your power it works for you, so when I talk about transforming and inner critic.


00:29:46.050 --> 00:29:49.680

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it literally like I can't tell you how many Controllers i've.


00:29:49.950 --> 00:30:00.060

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: worked i've talked to them the Drawing Out Process where they literally transformed from being this critical and shameful and you know that's terrible and you know you're terrible and you're screwing up.


00:30:00.300 --> 00:30:04.590

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: To them when they realize that what they're doing actually isn't working after all.


00:30:04.950 --> 00:30:13.950

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: He turned into these magical magical cheerleaders and instead of shaming and blaming criticizing or any of that they're like you're awesome you're great.


00:30:14.520 --> 00:30:24.360

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the person quite is just amazing and so that's What I mean is that this power is then transform back to what it originally was before it got distorted.


00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:39.930

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: by those situations or people or experiences in your life that made those parts of you feel unsafe and feel like they needed to turn into Controllers so by drawing out your expertise, you can more quickly and painlessly heal them so really quickly.


00:30:40.710 --> 00:30:47.460

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: These are the parts of the sort of basics of the change like system that i'm going through obviously i'm covering exPowers right now.


00:30:47.670 --> 00:30:55.560

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Next, after this we're going to be talking about in our emPowers, which is what this exPowers transform into really, really grateful stuff.


00:30:56.070 --> 00:31:07.170

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then you're Guiding Star that vision of who you are, and you know to be so that you can actually see it it's literally like there in front of you it guides you to to be Cup to live and actualize your truth.


00:31:07.620 --> 00:31:17.070

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then finally your truth, which is the treasure that we are after here, which is what i'm all about getting people tuned into their truth living their truth actually.


00:31:17.940 --> 00:31:25.110

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and especially with change makers, those of us who are driven to make a difference in the world, I want every single changemaker on the planet.


00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:37.290

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: To be so fully aligned and lit up with their truth it's like they are just you know we're accelerating the healing of our planet, like nothing ever before that's what i'm that's what i'm all about that's what I want so.


00:31:37.770 --> 00:31:43.890

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: With That said, I just want to invite you experienced the change like system where you learn all about these.


00:31:44.100 --> 00:31:50.640

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then you also learn the Drawing Out Process is not just for extra hours, but also for emPowers and you're Guiding Star and your truth.


00:31:50.940 --> 00:31:55.260

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it's inside a safe and supportive Community so you're not alone as you're doing this work.


00:31:55.500 --> 00:32:07.200

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Right now, I happen to be running a special because sort of a pre launch thing so go ahead and join us please love to have you accelerate your power to change the world so with that.


00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:13.890

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Thank you so much for listening i'm so happy to have you here for my show Inner Work for Greater Good.


00:32:14.220 --> 00:32:19.560

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I hope that you are learning things and I hope that this has been really enlightening for you.


00:32:19.770 --> 00:32:32.640

Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I just love having you here and I can't wait to share, about inner wound is richer next, these are like the core exPowers that are underneath those Controllers and Defenders so look forward to sharing that with you what I love you take care.


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